Jack and Jill Quotes

Jill Sadelstein: [after breaking his Oscar] Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! I am sure you have others, though.

Al Pacino: Uh, you'd think it, but, uh, oddly enough, I don't.

Jill Sadelstein: Oh, please! Tell me you don't feel this.

[slaps herself]

Jack Sadelstein: I didn't feel it. Maybe if you did it harder.

[slaps harder]

Jack Sadelstein: Little harder.

[slaps a little more harder]

Erin Sadelstein: No, Jill, stop it. He's kidding

Jill Sadelstein: What?

[Gary punches her, knocks her out of the chair]

Otto: Donkey fight!

Erin Sadelstein: Jill, are you okay?.

Jill Sadelstein: Yeah, no, I'm fine. Gary, that was... He didn't 100% percent connect.

Gary Sadelstein: Feel that, Daddy?

Jack Sadelstein: I... I actually did feel something, there. Pride in my son.

Jill Sadelstein: Why are you so afraid to admit that we are connected? Face it. We shared Mom's womb. We were womb-mates.

Jack Sadelstein: Oh, that is just disgusting.

Ted: What's this about a twin?

Todd: Oh, Jack. He has a twin sister.

Ted: Are you kidding me? You never told me you had a twin sister.

Jack Sadelstein: No, no, I mean, she's...

Ted: Identical or fraternal?

Todd: Nocturnal, like a bat.

Jack Sadelstein: I can't believe this. This is insane, man! You gotta call him!

Jill Sadelstein: Oh, cool your buns. You know I'm still hurting the whole Funbucket fiasco.

Jack Sadelstein: No, but Pacino liked you! I swear to God, he really liked you!

Jill Sadelstein: Oh, will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister.

Jack Sadelstein: [after Jill's disastrous date that he's responsible for] I am such an idiot!

Erin Sadelstein: You're an idiot? Jack, what did you do?

Gary Sadelstein: Busted! Disgusted! Never to be trusted!

Jack Sadelstein: Did I ever tell you Todd is an atheist?

Jill Sadelstein: A WHAT?

Todd: Oh, God.

Jack Sadelstein: Have a great time, guys.

Jill Sadelstein: No! How could there be a Grand Canyon if God didn't exist?

Todd: Right. That's a very good point. I'm just saying, you know, maybe...

Jill Sadelstein: Maybe God wouldn't have given you a rat face if you believed in him.

Todd: I don't have a rat face.

Jill Sadelstein: Yes, you do have a rat face! It's scary.

John McEnroe: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. This guy doesn't believe in God?

Jill Sadelstein: No!

Todd: No, no, I'm just saying that there's not real proof.

John McEnroe: IDIOTS like you really make me MAD!

Michael Irvin: Fight! Fight!

Johnny Depp: What's going on with the beard, man?

Al Pacino: I don't want to be recognized. Ok?

[Asking Al Pacino]

Johnny Depp: What do you think people are thinking, that I am sitting with my rabbi?