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Jane: Do you poke smot?
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Jake: And what's with the "big guy"? Is it because I'm fat?
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Adam: Here comes your ex-husband. Uh-oh, not the best time to be feeling groovy!
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Jake: I'm sorry.
Jane: How far back does that 'sorry' go?
Jake: How far back do you need it to go?
Jane: Wa-ay back.
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Jane: Jane?
Jane: Hi.
Adam: Did you get this high from *one* hit?
Jane: Yeeeaaaaaahhh!
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Jake: And I like that you stopped getting bikini waxes. You've gone native. I was into it!
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Jane: Fancy a toke?
Harley: Oh, no thanks, I don't smoke weed.
Jane: Me neither.
[takes a drag]
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Harley: Are you smoking WEED in the guest bathroom?
Jake: Yes we are, and we'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone?
Harley: Oh no. Of course not. Just add it to the list.
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Jane: I like a lot of semen, always have.
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Jake: [Discussing Jane's lack of a bikini wax] You've gone native. I dig it.
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Jake: Is it really necessary for you to always say no before you say yes?
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Jane: Don't you ever eat at your house?
Jake: Pedro dictates most meals and he has a very... limited palate.
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Jake: Home Sweet Home.
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Jane: I was going to call you last night, and then you wouldn't of taken the call. It would have of gone on for months and!
Adam: I would have taken the call!
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Jake: I don't regret giving it another shot.
Jane: It probably would have worked, if you hadn't been married.
Jake: I wouldn't have considered it, if I wasn't.
Jane: I don't regret it either.
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Jane: Oh! It's official! We are having an affair!
Jake: Why do you need to label everything?
Jane: Because that's what this is!
It's Complicated Quotes
Extended Reading
