In the Valley of Elah Quotes

Private Robert Ortiez: Wouldn't it be funny if the devil looked just like you?

Hank Deerfield: Why don't you come over here! I'll show you what the devil looks like!

Det. Emily Sanders: David wants a slingshot now.

Hank Deerfield: Hmm.

Det. Emily Sanders: I guess it could be worse; it could have been a BB gun.

Det. Emily Sanders: And so David went down into the valley to challenge Goliath...

David Sanders: D'you think he was scared Mom?

Det. Emily Sanders: Yes. I think he was scared.

Evie: Mustard or mayonnaise?

[Hank looks up and is taken aback to see that the waitress is topless]

Hank Deerfield: Um... no thank you, ma'am.

Evie: Woman stands topless in front of you, "ma'am" could be taken as an insult.

Hank Deerfield: Do you know what it means when a flag flies upside down?

School Janitor: No...?

Hank Deerfield: Its an international distress signal...

School Janitor: No shit?

Hank Deerfield: No Shit! It means we're in a whole lot of trouble so come save our asses 'cause we ain't got a prayer in hell of saving it ourselves.

School Janitor: It says alot...

Hank Deerfield: Yes, it does...

Chief Buchwald: But didn't you just say that you would do whatever you were told?

Det. Emily Sanders: Yeah, I sometimes exaggerate for effect.

[first lines]

Spc. Gordon Bonner: What are you doing? Get back in the fucking vehicle man! Mike, get back in the fucking vehicle. Let's go, Mike, now!

Hank Deerfield: I'll call you when I get there tomorrow.

Joan Deerfield: It's a two-day drive.

Hank Deerfield: For some people.

Det. Emily Sanders: I was wondering if you knew if your son had any enemies.

Hank Deerfield: You mean other than the thousands of Iraqis and foreign fighters that have been trying to kill him till a couple of weeks ago?

Hank Deerfield: That's how you fight monsters. You lure them in close to you, you look them in the eye, you smack them down.

David Sanders: You fight a lot of monsters?

Hank Deerfield: Yeah.

David Sanders: You win?

Hank Deerfield: If I didn't I'd have been crushed, right?

Corporal Steve Penning: We seemed to always pull sentry duty together. Freezing our asses off. He tried to convince me of the craziest things.

Hank Deerfield: Try to get you to wear pantyhose?

Corporal Steve Penning: Did he tell you?

Hank Deerfield: No, I told *him*. Cuts the cold like nothing else.

Corporal Steve Penning: So he wasn't lying.

Hank Deerfield: You just don't want to get shot wearing a pair of those things. You'll never live it down.

Det. Emily Sanders: I will arrest every soldier whose blood alcohol is 1/1000 over the legal limit. How many men do you think that will be?

Lt. Kirklander: And how long till you're fired?

Det. Emily Sanders: Oh I'm gonna do it on my own time, and we have a pretty good union, so I'm gonna say four to five weeks.

Hank Deerfield: You got a minute? I need to apologize to you.

Private Robert Ortiez: You got some real serious issues, man.

Hank Deerfield: Yeah, that's true.

Private Robert Ortiez: I got an honorable discharge, if you can believe it.

Hank Deerfield: It's the Army, I can believe anything.

[last lines]

Hank Deerfield: [runs up flag upside down]

School Janitor: Just like that?

Hank Deerfield: Just like that.

School Janitor: It looks really old.

Hank Deerfield: It's been well used.

School Janitor: And I shouldn't take it down at night?

Hank Deerfield: No. You leave it just like that.

School Janitor: That's a lot easier.

Hank Deerfield: Hm.

Captain Jim Osher: Sir. I regret to inform you that a body was found last night. Upon investigation we believe it to be the remains of your son, Specialist Michael Deerfield.

Hank Deerfield: Right. You're going to need me to identify the body.

Captain Jim Osher: No sir. We... They determined identity in other ways. I believe partial fingerprints.

Hank Deerfield: What do you mean partial? What happened to him?

Captain Jim Osher: I'm not at liberty to say, sir. Someone from the base will...

Hank Deerfield: [cutting Captain Jim Osher off] I want to see his body now!