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Dan Foreman: [picking up another phone to interrupt his daughter's phone conversation with her new boyfriend] Hello, this is Mr. Foreman. If you give my daughter an alcoholic beverage or a joint, I will hunt you down and neuter you.
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Carter Duryea: [about to be kissed] Uh, I heard this rumor... alcohol impairs your judgment.
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Carter Duryea: [during a lively board meeting, to a janitor in the back] I'm psyched! You - I don't know your name yet! What's your name?
Hector: I'm Hector... I just work maintenance.
Carter Duryea: Well, Hector,
[shouts]
Carter Duryea: Are you psyched?
Hector: I'm psyched!
Carter Duryea: Well, if Hector's psyched, then,
[shouts]
Carter Duryea: I know I?m psyched!
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Mark Steckle: ...You're being groomed...
Carter Duryea: I'm being groomed! Mark, thank you, thank you. I'm going to kick so much ass for you, I'm going to take no prisoners, I'm going to be your ninja assassin!
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Morty: I gotta get home for dinner. My wife is slowly poisoning me to death and she gets very angry if I'm late.
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Dan Foreman: Guys, I feel very terrible about what I'm about to say. But I'm afraid your both being let go.
Lou: Let go? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: It means you're being fired, Louie.
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Morty: [after learning he's been fired] Dan, what the hell am I gonna tell my wife? I mean she already wears the pants, now she's gonna wear the tie and jacket too.
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Carter Duryea: [Alex dims the lights, turns on soft music, and lights incense] Well, it looks like everything is perfect.
Alex Foreman: So why are you still talking?
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Carter Duryea: Dan, you seem to have the perfect marriage. How do you do it?
Dan Foreman: You just pick the right one to be in the foxhole with, and then when you're outside of the foxhole you keep your dick in your pants.
Carter Duryea: That's poetic.
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Dan Foreman: [referring to how Morty is handling unemployment] How are you?
Morty: Not so good, not so good. I mean psychologically.
Dan Foreman: I'm sorry.
Morty: That's OK. Anyway, my wife got a promotion. I'm hoping she'll raise my allowance.
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Dan Foreman: We made a deal, remember? We made a deal we'd always be honest with one another.
Alex Foreman: Dad, I was like five years old when we made that deal.
Dan Foreman: Yeah, I liked you better then.
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Eugene Kalb: Thanks for the Laker tickets.
Dan Foreman: You bet.
Eugene Kalb: Seats were terrific. But I'm still not going to advertise in the magazine. My son-in-law tells me that people don't read much any more. Too much effort moving eyes back and forth. So we're gonna put most of our budget into television, radio, internet.
Dan Foreman: Okay.
Eugene Kalb: Okay? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: I'm not gonna try to sell you.
Eugene Kalb: Why the hell not? You're a salesman.
Dan Foreman: Yeah. Just not a very good one, that's all.
Eugene Kalb: I'll say.
Dan Foreman: But I am going to ask you one favor.
Eugene Kalb: Oh, yeah?
Dan Foreman: I'm gonna leave you an issue of the magazine and I'm personnally gonna send you a new one every week. Now, I'll call you in a few weeks, and if you want to we'll talk. There's a great article in there comparing today's quarterbacks with Johnny Unitas.
Eugene Kalb: Unitas would kick their butts. So this is your sales pitch?
Dan Foreman: I've been with the magazine for 20 years. I believe in it.
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Mark Steckle: You're the new me. No wait... I'm the new me.
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Eugene Kalb: My son-in-law says I'm a dinosaur.
Dan Foreman: Hey, don't knock the dinosaurs. They ruled the earth for millions of years. They must've been going something right.
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Carter Duryea: [Carter and Alex meet for the first time in an elevator] 47. Are you going to Sports America offices?
Alex Foreman: Yeah.
Carter Duryea: You an intern or something?
Alex Foreman: Uh, no, my dad works there.
Carter Duryea: Oh.
Alex Foreman: Are you interning there?
Carter Duryea: No, I'm starting a job
[head of the Ad Sales department at 26 years of age]
Carter Duryea: there today.
Alex Foreman: That's good. Congratulations.
Carter Duryea: Oh, thank-you. I'm totally scared shitless. I have no idea what I'm doing. Don't tell anyone, okay?
Alex Foreman: Okay.
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Alex Foreman: But this isn't a foxhole. It's a Porsche.
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Dan Foreman: You're pregnant? Holy crap! Does it feel like a boy?
Ann Foreman: Right now it feels like the stomach flu.
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Dan Foreman: [about her being pregnant] Holy crap. Are you sure?
Ann Foreman: Yeah.
Dan Foreman: Does it feel like a boy?
Ann Foreman: Right now, it feels like a stomach flu.
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Ann Foreman: [whispers] I'm pregnant
Dan Foreman: What? I'm sorry, I thought you just said that you were pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah.
Dan Foreman: You can't be pregnant.
Ann Foreman: Yeah I can, I am
Dan Foreman: Yeah, how could that happen?
Ann Foreman: Well I think that you were there too.
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Dan Foreman: [about her being pregnant] This is fine, this is fine. That means, when he's twenty one, ill be... seventy two.
Ann Foreman: Seventy three.
Dan Foreman: Seventy two.
Ann Foreman: Seventy three.
Dan Foreman: Holy crap.
-
Dan Foreman: You seem jumpy Carter, did you switch from mocha to crack?
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Carter Duryea: [after meeting Dan Foreman, and a prolonged hand shake] That's quite a kung-fu grip you've got there.
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Carter Duryea: Is it like a thousand degrees here or is it just me? It's me.
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Carter Duryea: Are you all psyched?
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Alex Foreman: You're kind of a bizarrely honest guy, huh?
Carter Duryea: No, just around you.
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Alex Foreman: [laughs while kissing Carter]
Carter Duryea: What?
Alex Foreman: Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about how my dad said he wired this place with video surveillance.
Carter Duryea: Yeah, that's hilarious.
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Carter Duryea: I'm gonna have to let some people go.
Dan Foreman: Why do you say let them go? They don't WANT to go. Why don't you just say fire them?
Carter Duryea: Because it sounds better.
Dan Foreman: Not to the person getting fired it doesn't.
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Dan Foreman: [to host] I'll drop kick you across the restaurant.
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Carter Duryea: For what it's worth, I enjoy talking to you more than anyone else.
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Carter Duryea: Wow, you really believe in this stuff, huh?
Dan Foreman: Of course. Why else would I do it?
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Morty: Timing is everthing in life.
-
[first lines]
Anchorwoman: After months of speculation, analysts expect an announcement this week that GlobeCom International will acquire Waterman Publishing and its flagship magazine, Sports America. The man at the helm of GlobeCom, billionaire media magnate Teddy K., has been on a spending spree recently, acquiring a food service company, a cable operator, and two telecommunications providers in deals totaling more than $13 billion. And how did one lucky ferret owner come to own the largest dog treat manufacturer on the East Coast?
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[last lines]
Carter Duryea: [on cell phone] Hello. Dan! Hey. Oh, my God. Congratulations. lt's amazing. Do you have a name yet? Oh, no, that's terrific. Uh, probably because l'm jogging. No, l'm outside. Yes. l'm actually jogging outside. Please Playa del Rey. Don't laugh. I'm thinking about getting into...
-
Carter Duryea: ...or, um, maybe open an Awapuhi store.
-
Carter Duryea: I'm gonna go with the 911.
In Good Company Quotes
Extended Reading
