Howl's Moving Castle Quotes

Howl: [Quietly amused] Calcifer? You're being so obedient.

Calcifer: Not on purpose! She bullied me!

Howl: Not just anybody can do that.

[Looks at Sophie]

Howl: And you are... who?

Old Sophie: Er, you can just call me Grandma Sophie. I'm your new cleaning lady. I just started work today.

Old Sophie: All right Calcifer, let's get cooking.

Calcifer: I don't cook! I'm a scary and powerful fire demon!

Howl: Calcifer, move the castle sixty miles west.

[walks away]

Howl: And while you're at it, make hot water for my bath.

Calcifer: Fine, like moving the castle isn't hard enough!

Howl: So what do you have in your pocket, Sophie?

Old Sophie: Huh?

[Finds a folded piece of paper]

Old Sophie: What is this?

Howl: Give it to me.

[paper burns leaving marks on the table]

Markl: Scorch marks! Howl, can you read them?

Howl: That is ancient sorcery, and quite powerful too.

Markl: Is it from the Witch of the Waste?

Howl: "You who swallowed a falling star, o' heartless man, your heart shall soon be mine." That can't be good for the table.

[covers the marks with his hand]

Markl: Wow! It's gone!

Howl: The mark may be gone, but the spell is still there.

[Two soldiers are bothering Sophie]

Howl: There you are, sweetheart, sorry I'm late. I was looking everywhere for you.

Soldier: Hey, hey! We're busy here!

Howl: Are you really? To me, it looked like the two of you were just leaving.

[gestures with his hand, the soldiers are forced to march away]

Letti: What's going on? Someone just told me you floated down into our balcony!

Young Sophie: So that did happen, it wasn't a dream.

Letti: Wow! He must have been a wizard then.

Young Sophie: But he was so kind to me. He rescued me, Letti.

Letti: Of course he did, he was trying to steal your heart. You were so lucky Sophie, if that wizard were Howl, he would have eaten it.

Young Sophie: No he wouldn't, Howl only does that to beautiful girls.

Howl: Markl, make sure the cleaning lady doesn't get carried away while I'm gone.

Markl: Sophie, what did you do now?

[Sophie shrugs]

Calcifer: She almost smothered me! If I die, Howl dies too, I hope you know.

Markl: Wait! You can't come up here!

Old Sophie: Whatever you don't want me to clean, better hide it now!

Markl: Save my room for last, OK?

[to Howl]

Calcifer: You shouldn't keep flying around like that. Soon you won't be able to turn back into a human.

Howl: I'm tired, make some hot water for my bath.

Calcifer: Not again!

Howl: This war is terrible, they bomb from the southern coast to the northern border. It's all in flames now.

Calcifer: I can't stand the fire and gunpowder. Those dopey guys have absolutely no manners.

Howl: My own kind attacked me today.

Calcifer: Who? The Witch of the Wastes?

Howl: No, some hack wizards who turned themselves into monsters for the king.

Calcifer: Those wizards are going to regret doing that. They'll never change back into humans.

Howl: After the war, they won't recall they ever were human.

[Howl comes running out of the bathroom, screaming. His hair is now orange]

Howl: Sophie! You, you sabotaged me! Look! Look at what you've done to my hair! Look!

Old Sophie: What a pretty color.

Howl: It's hideous! You completely ruined my magic potions in the bathroom!

Old Sophie: I just organized things, Howl. Nothing's ruined.

Howl: Wrong! Wrong! I specifically ordered you not to get carried away!

[tragically]

Howl: Now I'm repulsive.

[slumps into a chair]

Howl: I can't live like this.

[starts sobbing, head in hands]

Old Sophie: Come on, it's not that bad.

[Howl's hair changes color to purple, then black]

Old Sophie: You should look at it now, its shade is even better.

Howl: [inconsolable] I give up. I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful.

Howl: The Witch of the Wastes is trying to find my castle.

Old Sophie: Ah, I saw her henchmen at the harbor.

Howl: I'm such a big coward, all I do is hide. All of this magic is to keep everybody away. I can't stand how scared I am.

Old Sophie: Howl, why is the Witch of the Wastes trying to hunt you down?

Howl: She was once quite beautiful, so I decided to pursue her, then I realized she wasn't, so then, as usual, I ran away.

Howl: I've got it! Why don't you go to the palace for me?

Old Sophie: Huh?

Howl: Just say that you're Pendragon's mother and that your son is such a cowardly wizard he's too afraid to show his face. Maybe then Madame Suliman will finally give up on me.

[puts a ring on Sophie's finger]

Howl: This charm will guarantee your safe return. Don't worry, I'll follow behind you in disguise. Now off you go.

Old Sophie: I wonder what Howl disguised himself as? Surely not a crow. Can't be a pigeon, he's too flamboyant for that.

[a glider plane with a giggling young woman and her lover flies overhead]

Old Sophie: That could be him.

Madam Suliman: That boy is extremely dangerous, his powers are far too great for someone without a heart.

[pause]

Madam Suliman: If he stays selfish, I'm afraid he'll end up just like the Witch of the Wastes.

Old Sophie: I can't do this! Why'd you make me come here if you were coming yourself?

Howl: Knowing you'd be there gave me the courage to show up. That woman terrifies me. I can't face her on my own. You saved me, Sophie. I was in big trouble back there.

Old Sophie: Do you know what Madame Suliman said? She said that Howl's heart was stolen by a demon. Tell me now, what do you know?

Calcifer: I'm so sorry but that would be confidential information.

[walks up to the scarecrow]

Howl: Looks like we have another addition to the family. Hmmm, you've got quite a nasty spell on you too, huh? Seems everyone in this family's got problems.

[to Sophie]

Howl: See that new color on the dial? There's a new portal. It's a present for you. Come see.

[in the secret garden]

Old Sophie: Did you use your magic to make this?

Howl: Only a little, just to help the flowers grow.

Young Sophie: It's... you're scaring me. I have this weird feeling you're going to leave. Howl, tell me what's going on! Please. I don't care if you're a monster.

Howl: I'm just setting things up so all of you can live a comfortable life, Sophie.

Young Sophie: So you are going away. Please, Howl. I know I can be of help to you, even though I'm not pretty and all I'm good at is cleaning.

Howl: Sophie! Sophie! You're beautiful!

Old Sophie: Well, the nice thing about being old is you've got nothing much to lose.

[to the Witch of the Wastes]

Howl: Tell me, was that cigar a gift from Madame Suliman, by any chance?

Young Sophie: Let's run! Don't fight them, Howl!

Howl: Sorry, I've had enough of running away, Sophie. Now I've got something I want to protect. It's you.

[Sophie removes Calcifer from the hearth]

Calcifer: No, no, no! Don't do this! Help! Help! Crazy lady with the shovel! If you kick me out that door, the castle could collapse!

Young Sophie: Good!

Young Sophie: They say that the best blaze burns brightest when circumstances are at their worst.

Calcifer: Yeah, but no one really believes that. Come on, let's be honest.

[repeated line]

Witch of the Waste: Oh, what a pretty fire.

[after Sofi puts a pan and bacon on Calcifer]

Calcifer: Here's another curse for you - may all your bacon burn.

Old Sophie: Are you the one moving this castle?

Calcifer: Of course I am! No one else does any work around here.

Howl: I feel terrible, like there's a weight on my chest.

Young Sophie: A heart's a heavy burden.

Howl: You didn't have to come back, Calcifer.

Calcifer: Yeah, I kinda missed you guys, and it looks like it's gonna rain.

Young Sophie: I missed you too, Calcifer.

Young Sophie: His pole snapped.

[to the scarecrow]

Young Sophie: We'll get you a new one, okay? You saved us, Turnip.

[kisses him]

Young Sophie: Calcifer.

Calcifer: Sophie, I'm so tired.

Young Sophie: If I give Howl back his heart, what will happen to you?

Calcifer: I'll be okay if you do it, I think. I mean, you dumped water on me and Howl and we both survived.

Young Sophie: I'd better try then.

Howl: The Witch of the Waste and Madame Suliman's dog at my table? What possessed you to let them in my house?

Calcifer: I didn't let them in here! Sophie crash landed her plane into my face!

Howl: [laughs]

Old Sophie: Hmph!

Howl: I knew she'd make a great pilot!

Young Sophie: I know where I am! I'm in Howl's childhood!

Howl: [Howl catches one of the falling stars, talks to it, then puts it in his mouth and swallows. He bends over, as if in pain, and then draws Calcifer out of his chest]

Young Sophie: Howl! Calcier! I know how to help you now! Find me in the future!

Howl: Wow, Sophie, your hair looks just like starlight. It's beautiful.

Young Sophie: You think so? So do I!

[hugs Howl]

Old Sophie: A battleship?

Howl: On its way to burn cities and people

Old Sophie: The enemy's? Ours?

Howl: What difference does it make?

Young Sophie: [encounters a wounded Howl in his giant bird form sitting in the junkyard] Howl!

[uncovers his feathers to find his human face underneath dripping with blood]

Young Sophie: I'm sorry, did I come too late? I didn't mean to make you wait this long.

[kisses him]

Young Sophie: I need you to take me to Calcifer if you can.

[Howl gets up and flies off with her and the Queen's dog]

Markl: [reading the newspaper] But the newspaper says we won.

Witch of the Waste: [smoking a cigar] Only idiots believe what they read in the paper.

Old Sophie: That's so strange, I can't get Calcifer going!

[to the Witch of the Waste]

Old Sophie: Do you have to keep smoking that? It smells terrible!

Witch of the Waste: Don't deny an old witch her pleasures, young lady.

Old Sophie: Markl, will you crack a window, please?

Witch of the Waste: [continues smoking] I wouldn't open that window if I were you, dear. Calcifer's too weak right now to protect this place, Suliman's henchmen could get in.

Young Sophie: [Approaches the Witch of the Waste while she tries to hide Howl's heart] Howl needs that back now.

Witch of the Waste: Don't look at me, I don't have it, I don't know what you're talking about.

Young Sophie: [hugs her] Please give it back.

Witch of the Waste: You really want it that badly?

Young Sophie: [on the verge of crying] Yes.

Witch of the Waste: Alright then, you'd better take good care of it.

Young Sophie: Okay.

Witch of the Waste: [hands her Howl's heart] Here, dear.

Young Sophie: Thank you, you have a big heart!

[kisses her]

Young Sophie: A heart burns like a blue flame.

Calcifer: But it's still the heart of a child.

Customer: Hello sir. Is my potion ready?

Markl: Come back later. There's a witch on a rampage in there.