House on Haunted Hill Quotes

Evelyn: [to Eddie] Get off of me, you pervert!

Stephen Price: Congratulations. I don't think Evelyn's said that to anything with testicles, ever.

Evelyn: Very funny, Stephen. Have you?

[after Price receives a call]

Channel 3 Reporter: What is it, Mr. Price, business or pleasure?

Stephen Price: Neither. My wife.

Eddie: Oh, so then we'll just stay here 'til morning.

Pritchett: Yeah, I'm sure we'll all be mutilated beyond recognition by then.

Evelyn: I gave you a goddamn guest list two pages long. Where the hell are they?

Stephen Price: Shredded. Sorry. Decided to whip up one of my own: a group so hungry for money they'd be willing to do anything. I thought you'd be more comfortable with your peers.

Eddie: [to Price, holding up bloody rag] Look at this! Huh? What is this?

Pritchett: [turns around] That? What just happened to you there... that's nothing. You've just been playing around with a ghost. Wait 'til somebody lets out the Darkness in this place. That's a whole... that's a whole new bunch of crazy shit. That's... you'll hate that shit.

[hearing the screaming from another part of the house]

Evelyn: Guess old Melissa found what she was looking for.

Sara: I'm about to figure out exactly what or who Melissa was taping.

Eddie: what, then where will we be?

Pritchett: Out of Scotch thanks to you, ass!

[discussing Evelyn's birthday party plans over the phone]

Stephen Price: Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity meter, you just hit a seventy-three.

Evelyn: Oh Stephen, you poor clueless old geek. All it would have taken was a simple divorce and ripping our prenup into tiny itsy bitsy little pieces, but no matter how it ended, please just know one thing. From the first moment I laid eyes on you I have always, always loved... your money. On the other hand, just the sight of you has made me want to puke.

Stephen Price: [grabbing Evelyn by the throat, surprising her] Is that a fact, princess? I mean, you could have saved us all a great deal of time, not to mention money, if you'd have just let me in on it years ago.

Evelyn: How?

Stephen Price: You must be kidding me. I'm Stephen goddamn Price.

Evelyn: [trying to talk while Steven is choking her] Sweetie?

Stephen Price: Anything, angel. Just speak it.

Evelyn: What are you going to do?

Stephen Price: Just what you wanted everyone here to believe in the first place. I'm gonna murder you, Evelyn, with the greatest of pleasure.

Evelyn: Witnesses.

Stephen Price: [grabbing her by her hair and pulling her up off the floor] You're already dead, Evelyn.

[kisses her]

Stephen Price: Happy birthday, baby.

Evelyn Stockard-Price: [Stephen H. Price is sneaking out of the room] : And where are you off to, Mr. Price? Checking the wiring on the animatronic mummies?

Steven H. Price: I'm just gonna go take a leak, if it's okay with you.

[Price surprises Eddie, Sara, and Pritchett. Eddie almost shoots Price with his gun]

Eddie: That's a good way to get your head blown off, man!

Stephen Price: I'll recommend it to Evelyn.

Evelyn: You know if you really love me, you'll find a way to drop dead in the next three seconds.

Stephen Price: Finding ways for me to die is really your deal, isn't it, Evelyn? Let's not forget the OJ knife with the not-quite-retractable blade. Your Jim Jones Kool-Aid was exactly that.

Evelyn: Accidents, all accidents until proven otherwise.

Stephen Price: Let's go back down and greet your guests, show them the real you. Corny as Kansas on the Fourth of July.

Evelyn: My guests were shredded. It's your sick little scene now: enjoy. I'm gonna run scalding water over the place you just touched me, and then I'm calling a cab.

Pritchett: Jesus, she's dead. She was cute, too. God, I'd love to get laid before I die.

[looks at Evelyn]

Pritchett: How you doin' tonight?

[Evelyn gives him a glare]

Pritchett: Yeah, I'm all right.

[continues drinking heavily]

Eddie: That was the most fun I've had all day.

Sara: You need to get out more.

Sara: Is this house really haunted?

Pritchett: [near hysterics] It's uh, well, bleh... hah... yeah, it's pretty scary.

Evelyn: Who invited them?

Stephen Price: I don't know, it wasn't me and you say it wasn't you. Who then, Evelyn? Ghosts?

Evelyn: Ooh, spooky.

Eddie: [Eddie and Sara are atop a tall tower] That was one kickass party!

Sara: Okay, but one more thing: how do we get down from here?

Evelyn: You ever find out what happened to that little TV reporter?

Blackburn: No. They never found her.

Evelyn: So, we don't even know if the little bitch is dead or alive?

Blackburn: But I think Price must have killed her. There's no other explanation.

Evelyn: There's plenty, you moron. For all we know, Steven's got her spying on us right now.

Blackburn: Oh, bullshit.

Evelyn: Oh, God. This whole fucking thing's falling apart.

Blackburn: It's not, baby, it's not. Somebody's gonna pull the trigger.

Evelyn: But nobody has yet, Donald. They're not at the breaking point. The bozos have to believe that their lives are in danger.

Blackburn: They have your death at his hands. How much more do they need?

Evelyn: But they didn't see it happen. They still have their doubts, they're confused. What we need is another body. Steven's bloody hands right next to him.

Blackburn: Well, how the hell are we gonna do that?

Evelyn: [laughs] This may sound a little crazy, but hear me out.

[Evelyn brutally stabs Blackburn]

Eddie: I've never in my life met an executive who could tie their shoes, much less rewire an entire building.

Sara: There's always exceptions.

Eddie: No. Come on, what's the truth?

Sara: The truth is if we keep taking rights, we're going to have to end up where we started.