Carly: [Carly hears a noise outside the tent] Wade, wake up. Wade! I heard something.

Wade: Yeah, it's probably the serial killers or something.
Blake: [choosing who to give the keys to] Actually, I'm going to let my man drive.

[hands Dalton the keys]

Dalton: You heard the man, get in the car!

Nick: [squeezes Dalton's nipple] Give me the keys.

Dalton: Okay!
Carly: You have to be careful!

Nick: I am being careful.
Paige: Did you find that fan belt thing or whatever?
[scraping a piece of the House of Wax off with his knife]

Wade: It is wax, like... literally.
Carly: Please don't kill me.
Paige: That's weird.
Bo: What are you doing?

Carly: Waiting for Wade.
Nick: Bye, Wade.

Wade: Asshole.
Blake: [to Nick and Dalton] Are you two gonna have sex with each other? 'Cause me and Paige are.
Paige: I swear, he's starting to like that car more than me now.
Carly: It's okay, he's gone.
Wade: I just don't get what his beef is with me.

Carly: Nick has beef with everyone.
Nick: I swear to God, if you hurt her... VINCENT!
Nick: He did this to you?
Dalton: You're just gonna let 'em leave like that? That guy's a freak, he throws dead animals in a pit for a living.

Nick: You clean shit for a living, Mr. Septic Tank Man. What's the difference?

Dalton: Well, um... I don't walk through it. That's one difference.
Carly: [about the smell] I think it's coming from over there.

Paige: [sarcastically] Yeah, let's follow the smell.
Paige: [after giving Dalton a makeover] He looks like a smurf.
Carly: I don't believe this. You steal a car and it's my fault. You evade arrest and it's the cops' fault...

Nick: One of 'em took a swing at me.

Carly: You get kicked out of the house, it's Mom and Dad's fault. You lose your football scholarship and it's the coach's fault! You can't keep a job for more than two weeks because it's every manager's fault!

Nick: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Carly: So then why did you come, to piss me off?

Nick: Why don't you get it? You're the good twin, I'm the evil one.

Carly: Grow up. You are so afraid to take things seriously.
Nick: [kicking a cup out of a homeless guy's hand] Get a job.
Dalton: Hey, do you think that Wade will stay with Carly after she moves to New York?

Nick: I don't know. Maybe...

Dalton: Cause, you know... the way she's been lookin' at me...

Nick: Hey! It ain't happening, man. And even if it was happening - it ain't happening. Nothing personal.

Dalton: Why's that? I mean, you like me better than Wade, right?

Nick: [sighs] Wade's not so bad.

Dalton: Yeah, I like Wade, too.
Blake: [after Dalton is given a make-over] He looks like Elton John, only more gay.

Dalton: Elton John is gay?
Paige: Lip balm. I dropped my stupid lip balm.
Wade: I'm sorry, we just needed a fan belt.

Bo: A fanbelt? You walk in on a funeral for a fucking fanbelt?
Nick: You're saying that that's a real person... underneath?
Trudy Sinclair: [talking to a young Bo] Shuddup! Oooh, why can't you be more like your brother?
Nick: Ugh, Dalton, did you crap your pants again?

Dalton: What? No! I don't know, maybe. I am wearing my work clothes.
Nick: [stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the game] It's not moving.

Blake: It'll MOVE!

Paige: It's not moving.

Blake: It will!

Nick: Turn it around! Dude, turn the car around!

[Blake leans his head down in defeat, hitting the horn and making it blare]
Carly: No, there's no-one at the gas station!

Paige: We'll meet you back at camp, but more than a few yards away from that pet cemetery.
Wade: [sniffing something foul in the air] Something's dead out there.

Blake: [sniffing also] Nuh uh. Something's dead right here.
Wade: [runs a lighter along one of Vincent's waxed miniature statues and talking in a silly voice] Oh no, there's a fire! Help me, Carly! My skirt's gonna catch on fire, my legs are all hot, you're my hero!

Carly: [stopping him] That's not cool.
[Carly sees a human face in the window that moves away]

Wade: [after she jumps] What?

Carly: I just saw somebody!

Wade: It was probably a wax thing.

Carly: No, no, it wasn't a wax thing, it was moving and it was freaky looking!
Wade: [notices how well Nick throws the football to Blake] Nice arm... I can see why they gave you a scholarship.

Nick: [holds up hand] Yeah, it's a real tragedy, ain't it?

Wade: Yeah... it is.
[Nick is sitting alone while everyone is making out. Dalton comes up to him with his camera]

Nick: [grinning] Don't even think about it, I ain't kissing you, dude.

Dalton: [mocking disappointment] Aw, come on. You know you want to.

[Nick and Dalton laugh]

Dalton: Haha, just kidding. Psych! I wouldn't kiss your ass for shit, man.
Bo: I'm sorry mama, some people just have no respect.
[last lines]

Dave: [on radio] Sheriff?

Sheriff: Yeah, Dave?

Dave: Ran the Sinclair family through CDIC. Trudy and the doctor didn't have two sons. They had three.
[first lines]

Trudy Sinclair: You are being such a good boy. Would you like some more cereal, sweetheart? Here you go.
Bo: Trudy got a cyst in her brain.
Roadkill Driver: Sorry. I kind of get used to the smell.

Carly: Really? I don't think I could ever get used to it.
Roadkill Driver: [sees Carly eyeing the knife on his belt] You like knives.

Carly: [sarcastically] Not really.
[upon seeing Vincent drive up to his place with two more dead bodies]

Bo: [muttering] Damn it. I told him before never to come up here!
[Nick is about to break a shop window]

Carly: Nick, don't! They'll hear us.

Nick: [stops for a moment] Look, they're going to catch us anyway. But this way we have a more of a chance.

[He breaks the window and steps in to take a crossbow]

Nick: Yeah, that looks about right.
[seeing all the fan belts]

Wade: He has everything but a 15 inch fan belt. Where is he anyway? He said he'd be 30 minutes, its been almost 45.

[sighs]

Wade: I guess I'll have to make do with a 16.

[grabs it]

Bo: [from behind] You plan on stealing that?

Wade: [startled] No, I ah - I left money by the cash register.

[indeed he did as a $20 bill lies there]
Bo: [Baby Jane is singing in the background] I know you're in here.
Bo: [to Vincent] Hey, town's looking real good. We almost finished what Ma started. Those two are good, they'll fit perfectly. What I tell ya, huh? Ain't your work more real now? Ma would be proud, yeah, she'd be real proud. She always said your talent would make up for what God took away from you. There's two more, we've still got a lot of work to do.
Carly: Are you okay?

[Nick looks at her]

Nick: We're okay.
Blake: [to the stranger in the truck] Yo, man. You need something?

Carly: What does he want?

Wade: Hey, can you turn off your lights, please?

[no response]

Paige: Okay, this is getting kinda creepy.

Blake: Hey, come on, man, get out of here! Nothing to see here, let's go!

Wade: Can we help you?

Carly: Maybe we're on his property?

Wade: Nah, we didn't pass the gate.

Blake: Hey man, turn your lights off! Hello? Turn your lights off! No, I'm serious. Turn your lights off or I'll whip this on your ass!

Wade: Hey, hey, it's cool, man.

[Nick throws a bottle and smashes one of the headlights]

Carly: NICK!

[pause]

Carly: Oh, my...

Dalton: [yelling at the man in the truck] WHAT?
[Wade starts up his car. It rumbles badly for a second and then cuts out]

Wade: [looking under hood] What the hell?

[sees broken fan belt]

Wade: I just bought this fan belt. It's brand new.

[throwing it on the ground]

Wade: Someone has got to be fucking with me!
Carly: This Vincent guy is quite the artist.

Wade: Yeah. I think this Vincent guy needs therapy.
Wade: [to a dog he thinks is made of wax] What up, dog?
Nick: Wade... dude... I'd really like to pound your ass.
Carly: [approaching the door to the wax museum] Doesn't 'closed' mean 'I don't want you in here?'

Wade: Relax. No one'll care

Carly: What if's someone's here?

Wade: [calling out] Hello? Anyone in here?

[after silence]

Wade: See? Fine. Look how cool this is. Everything in here is wax, the floors, the walls, look at this!

[gestures to a large ornament]

Wade: This is wax

Carly: [sarcastic] Yeah, cool, awesome.

Wade: Who are these people supposed to be? Aren't there supposed to be famous people in a wax museum? I don't recognize this guy.