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Mike: I'm from the United States of kiss-my-ass.
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Mike: Oh, you're a bad pony. And I'm not gonna bet on you.
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Mike: What I'm talking about comes down to a more basic philosophial principle: Don't trust nobody.
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Mike: You can't bluff someone who's not paying attention.
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Prison Ward Patient: Y'know, I know there are people who are normal.
Dr. Margaret Ford: Are there?
Patient: Yes, there are. But...
Dr. Margaret Ford: But what?
Patient: But I don't know what those people do.
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Mike: You're not miffed at us, are ya?
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Mike: You say I acted atrociously. Yes. I did. I do it for a living.
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Mike: It's called a confidence game. Why? Because you give me your confidence? No. Because I give you mine.
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Joey: The bitch is a booster.
Mike: The bitch is a born thief, man.
Mr. Dean: So, you had her made from the jump?
Mike: I'm tellin' ya. A ton of fuckin' bricks! Show me some REAL con-men.
Joey: Yeah, we showed her some con-men.
Mike: We showed her some DINOSAUR con-men. Some old style.
Joey: Yes, sir.
Mike: Years from now, they're gonna have to go to a museum to see a frame like this.
Joey: That's right.
Mr. Dean: Took her money and screwed her, too.
Mike: A small price to pay.
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Mike: Hey, fuck you! This is what you always wanted, you crooked bitch! You thief! You always need to get caught, 'cos you know you're bad. I never hurt anybody, I never shot anybody. You sought this out. This is what you always wanted. I knew it the first time you came in. You're worthless, you know it? You're a whore. You came back like a dog to its own vomit You sick bitch - I'm not gonna give you shit.
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Mike: Wait, wait, wait. What is this? What are you gonna do to me? What are you fronting off about? And if I'm this bad dude, why don't I just take out some gun, blow you to a billion parts?
Dr. Margaret Ford: I'll tell you why. Cuz I think you're just a bully.
Mike: [chuckles] Just a bully? What, you're not gonna let me carry your books? Aren't you a caution.
Dr. Margaret Ford: Let's talk turkey, pal.
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Mike: Did I ever tell you my name? My name is Mike.
Dr. Margaret Ford: Glad to meet you.
Mike: Well, I'm glad to meet you, too.
Dr. Margaret Ford: I have a proposition for you.
Mike: And what's YOUR name?
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Mike: I read a book once which said this: If you're fired from your job, when you're going home, take something. A pencil... Something to assert yourself. Take a memento. Take something from life.
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Dr. Littauer: When you have done something unforgivable, I'll tell you exactly what to do. You forgive yourself.
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Dr. Margaret Ford: You took my money.
Mike: How naughty of me.
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Dr. Margaret Ford: Beg for your life, or I'm going to kill you.
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Mike: I think you're bluffin', pal. I think you're trying to BUY it!
George: Then you're gonna have to give me some respect, or give me some money.
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Mike: What'd you do, win again?
George: That's right. If you wanna win the hand, you've gotta stay in 'til the end.
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George: South Street Seaport, the man says. He can't stand the heat. He can't stand it.
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The businessman: Slam-bang on the breezoad.
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The businessman: Mike, you are the ring-tail rounder. You are King Kong.
Mike: One riot, one ranger.
Mr. Dean: You put that bitch in the panic bag.
Mike: Hey, baby, this is my road game.
The businessman: What's next?
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Mike: You see, in my trade, this is called - what you did - you cracked out of turn. Huh? You see? You crumbed the play.
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Mr. Dean: Mike, how did you know she was gonna go for it?
Mike: Go for it? Hey, the broad's an addict!
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Mike: [after being shot] Thank you, sir. May I have another?
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Mike: Everybody gets something out of every transaction.
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[after the con has failed due to Margaret noticing water dripping from the gun]
George: Told you a squirt gun wouldn't work.
Mike: A squirt gun would've worked- you didn't have to fill it!
House of Games Quotes
Extended Reading
