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Uncle Pete: Where are these people coming from?
Leon: Outside, I hope.
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Leon: Well it's not like they all rape. I mean. It's wrong that it happens but you can't say every one of those people is raping. I mean if everybody was raping, there'd be no one to be raped. I want to take some of those sentences back.
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Leon: It's sad that it's so hard to show your feelings when you really want to.
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Horace: You alright? What's up?
Zach: I was charged $4.50 fro a Budweiser and that guy was charged $3. Just not sure why the discrepancy?
Horace: He's been coming here a long time.
Zach: So is that a privilege for just that one guy?
Horace: Some people pay $4.50 and some people pay $3.
Zach: Ok. How do you decide that? Is there like a list?
Horace: If he looks like him he pays $3 and if he looks like you he pays $4.50.
Zach: So just out and out discrimination? Are you aware how unfair and totally not okay that is?
Horace: Here's the thing. You're getting more for your money than he is.
Zach: How so?
Horace: Because, well see you come in here and you make fun of the place because it's an old Brooklyn dive bar. So you and your friends get to enjoy that part of it and also you get to have a beer. But he just gets the beer. See, you're here ironically. But he's really here because he just sleeps on the corner.
Zach: So it's like a douche tax?
Horace: Yeah, kinda.
Zach: Acceptable.
Horace: Ok
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Sarah: The worst part about telling a lie is when someone that you love just accepts it.
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Kurt: Fuck this country!
Leon: Hey, watch it!
Kurt: Why?
Leon: I don't know, you're supposed to say that when someone says the thing you said.
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Pete: I said I have a good memory, not that I have good memories.
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Rhonda: I have been around long enough to know that men can only make two contributions to my life. They can lift things and they can fuck. I don't want to know you. I don't want to date you. I don't want to move in with you. I don't want to meet your mama. Fuck me... move my furniture.
Horace: Where do you want it?
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Tom: Just accept the fact that love is rare and it probably won't happen to you, ever.
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Tom: You can't. That's why they call it falling in love. You can't fall on purpose.
Horace and Pete Quotes
Extended Reading
