-
Mona Champagne: If you cannot argue constructively, what will mother do?
Allison Champagne: Destroy our video games.
Mona Champagne: Andrew...?
Andrew Champagne: And the gaming system.
Allison Champagne: Burn it while we watch.
Mona Champagne: That's right. Don't forget what happened to your Legos.
-
Don Champagne: You're just being paranoid.
Mona Champagne: Heh, heh. Well, paranoia is just total awareness.
-
Don Champagne: Are you sure there's no other way?
Mona Champagne: There is only ever my way.
-
Mona Champagne: You're gonna need to pick up some more trash bags from Costco tomorrow. I'd write it down for you, but
[tisk]
Mona Champagne: I'm just covered in that girl; it's just distasteful.
-
Mona Champagne: [to Les' wife] I'm glad you have Crohn's. I hope you shit yourself for death!
-
Mona Champagne: [to Don] "Now grab a shovel! We need to fertilize the garden with your hooker. Who wasn't pregnant by the way!"
-
Don Champagne: So, what do we do first?
Dusty: Ugh.
Don Champagne: Oh, God! She's alive! No! No! No! Why isn't she dead?
Mona Champagne: Oh, boy! Heh, heh, heh.
Don Champagne: What do we do?
Mona Champagne: Oh, maybe we should just let her go!
Don Champagne: Really?
Mona Champagne: No. No. Get a hammer.
Don Champagne: What? A hammer?
Mona Champagne: Yeah. Get a hammer so we can hit her in the head!
Don Champagne: No! No! Why aren't you dead?
-
Mona Champagne: We're gonna need to pick up some more trash bags from Costco tomorrow - I'd write it down for you, but I'm just covered in that girl. Ugh. Just... distasteful. FYI, I'm hiring the next employee. Now, grab a shovel. We need to fertilize the garden with your hooker. Who wasn't pregnant, by the way!
Home Sweet Hell Quotes
Extended Reading
