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Ted Hanover: A gentle smile often breeds a kick in the pants.
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Jim Hardy: What brings you here on this bright and uninviting day?
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Jim Hardy: I don't need a coat, now!
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Linda Mason: You better go inside, it's cold and you don't have a coat...
[gently pushes him]
Linda Mason: Go on.
Jim Hardy: [kisses her, moves back] Well I don't need a coat anymore.
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Lila Dixon: [about Jim] I know, but he gets a look.
Ted Hanover: Aw, he's always had that look. It doesn't mean anything emotionally. It has something to do with his... liver.
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Lila Dixon: [to Ted] I love you... and Jim.
Ted Hanover: Well, I love Jim too... but let's not get too chummy.
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Ted Hanover: [reading] Come out and relax on a farm, music, dancing, home cooking. Open holidays only.
[skeptical]
Ted Hanover: Open holiday's only? Say, how many of them are there?
Jim Hardy: [excited] About 15. That gives me 350 days to kick around in!
Ted Hanover: [laughing] You would think of that!
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Mamie: Is your names Mamie?
Daphne, Vanderbilt: No.
Mamie: Get back in the kitchen!
[later]
Mamie: Is your names Miss Linda?
Daphne, Vanderbilt: No.
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[talking about peach preserves]
Ted Hanover: Oh boy, do I go for those! Why they're great on... on...
[pause]
Ted Hanover: ... or even plain!
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Linda Mason: What would you like?
Danny Reed: Orchids, the finest you've got.
Linda Mason: Corsage?
Danny Reed: No, no. A dozen, loose, looking like they don't care!
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Ted Hanover: It's going to be easy - like peeling a turtle.
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Jim Hardy: For that kinda of money you oughta be able to go by way o' Medicine Hat!
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Danny Reed: If I'm not the best manager in the business, I'll eat a garage mechanic's shirt!
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Jim Hardy: Well what do you visualize, Ziggy?
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Jim Hardy: Right now I've got the ledger in an iron lung.
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Danny Reed: How'd he get that far in five minutes?
Ted Hanover: The lady must have been willing.
Danny Reed: The world can't do this to us!
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Ted Hanover: I like it here... with you and Linda.
Jim Hardy: And we love having you. When are you leaving?
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Danny Reed: François! Have you seen Mr. Hanover?
François: Twice, sir. The first time he came from his dressing room he had a telegram in his hand. He ordered scotch and soda. A bottle of each.
Danny Reed: I know! I know!
François: The second time he came from his dressing room he asked which way is Connecticut.
Danny Reed: Connecticut?
François: Connecticut. He said he had a friend there who knows about women too.
Danny Reed: Why didn't you stop him?
François: How can I stop him sir when I don't know which way is Connecticut!
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Ted Hanover: Then I had a drink.
Jim Hardy: A drink? Boy you were fractured!
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Jim Hardy: [Handing a cup of coffee to Ted] Here, take a slug out of the mug.
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Linda Mason: You sound sweet, but you don't make sense.
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Mamie: [about winning Linda back] You could melt her heart right down to butter, if you'd only turn on the heat!
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Danny Reed: Happy New Year!
Ted Hanover: Oh, don't do that.
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Jim Hardy: [trying to describe Linda] She was sort of a medium built, medium height. With a nice evening gown on with a belt in the back. She's sorta built like the girl I knew from the corner drugstore who used to play pinball. Conshwella Schlepkiss. I remember she was high man three weeks in a row.
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Linda Mason: My father was a lot like you, just a man with a family. Never amounted to much, didn't care. But as long as he was alive, we always had plenty to eat and clothes to keep us warm.
Jim Hardy: Were you happy?
Linda Mason: Yes.
Jim Hardy: Then your father was a very successful man.
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Dance Extra: What is this the daisy chain?
Ted Hanover: Sorry, we're just looking for the back of a woman we don't know.
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Jim Hardy: It's a great act, isn't it?
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Ted Hanover: When a fellow is surprised to hear about his own wedding, brother that's when I go to work with a clear conscience.
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Jim Hardy: Lila's back in New York. I got a letter from her yesterday.
Ted Hanover: What happened to her millionaire?
Jim Hardy: Slight mistake there. He didn't own millions, he owed them.
Ted Hanover: Poor girl. Always straying to greener pastures and finding spinach.
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Danny Reed: [after Jim explains his idea for the Holiday Inn] Did you get your discharge papers from that sanitarium?
Holiday Inn Quotes
Extended Reading
