Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard Quotes

[from trailer]

Darius Kincaid: Are you using pepper spray?

Michael Bryce: I'm on sabbatical.

Sonia Kincaid: I would make a great mother, don't you think?

Michael Bryce: Oh my God, a child would be so lucky to have you as its host.

Sonia Kincaid: Thank you. It must be your powerful asexuality that makes you such a good listener.

Sonia Kincaid: I need you to protect us. We're trying to have a baby.

Michael Bryce: May god have mercy on our souls.

Michael Bryce: [to Sonia and Darius] Can we just acknowledge that not only are we safe, this really feels like a new beg...

[tranquilizer darts hit all three]

Michael Bryce: .

Darius Kincaid: Now repeat after me, "I'm unlicensed, and I don't give a fuck."

Michael Bryce: I'm unlicensed... and that's terrible...

[Kincaid slaps Bryce]

Darius Kincaid: Again?

Michael Bryce: I'm unlicensed and I don't give a fuck.

Darius Kincaid: Louder!

Michael Bryce: I'm unlicensed and I don't give a fuck!

Darius Kincaid: Robust!

Michael Bryce: [yelling] I'M UNLICENSED AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

Darius Kincaid: Great! Now let's go do what we do, and fuck some shit up!

Michael Bryce: Let's fuck some shit up.

[suddenly gets surrounded by Interpol agents]

Michael Bryce: Are you ready to get your freak on?

[to Interpol agents]

Michael Bryce: .

Darius Kincaid: What?

Michael Bryce: That came out wrong. Not together, with us. That also came out wrong.

Bobby O'Neill: They're planning a full-scale cyber attack. Do not screw this up.

Michael Bryce: Oh, we are definitely gonna screw this up.

Michael Bryce: [to Darius and Sonia who is driving but the pair start making out] Let's not do that guys, let's just focus

[leans over the backseat and takes control of the steering-wheel]

Michael Bryce: I got it. No, it's fine. You guys just... you guys have at it. Maybe feather the brake a bit.

Russian Mobster: You're gonna tell us everything you know.

Darius Kincaid: I'm not telling you shit! Aaagh!

[Darius gets tasered by the Russian Mobster]

Michael Bryce: You can electrocute him all day, it'll only make him angrier

[the Russian Mobster moves in on Bryce with the taser]

Michael Bryce: I, on the other hand, will tell you everything.

Darius Kincaid: What? Really?

[after being rescued by Sonia, Darius realizes that Bryce is there as well]

Darius Kincaid: Baby, what in the actual fuck is Michael Bryce doing here?

Sonia Kincaid: You said, "Baby, go get me Michael Breese!"

Darius Kincaid: No, I said, "Baby, got get anyone BUT Michael Bryce!"

Sonia Kincaid: I think you're obsessed with my boobs!

Michael Bryce: Your boobs? I never said anything about your boobs!

[Sonia becomes ferocious after an arms dealer calls her old]

Sonia Kincaid: [yelling] What the fuck did you just say, you finger-licking shit-monkey, donkey-blowing motherfucker?

[continues cursing in Spanish]

Michael Bryce: That sounded really Mexican!

[after massacring the nightclub]

Sonia Kincaid: [in a fake British accent] Breese, I'm famished. Shall we go now?

Michael Bryce: Still Mexican.

Crowley: Mr O'Neill, you have been warned repeatedly that it's against protocol to deal with unsanctioned criminal informants.

Bobby O'Neill: Listen, I've been in Europe for a month, okay? And the only thing you people do is watch fucking soccer. Not one bar carries Sam Adams. So the least you could do is let me do what we do in Boston, okay? You work with the bad guys to get the worse guys.

Aristotle Papdopolous: You! Motherfucker!

Darius Kincaid: That's right, papa dick-less. You gotta earn the right to call us motherfuckers.

Darius Kincaid, Sonia Kincaid: Motherfucker!