His Last Vow Quotes

Sherlock Holmes: One false move and we'll have betrayed the security of the United Kingdom and be imprisoned for high treason. Magnussen is quite simply the most dangerous man we've ever encountered and the odds are comprehensibly stacked against us.

Dr. John Watson: But it's Christmas!

Sherlock Holmes: [huge grin] I feel the same. Oh, you mean it's actually Christmas. Did you bring your gun as I suggested?

Dr. John Watson: Why would I bring my gun to your parents' house for Christmas dinner?

Sherlock Holmes: Is it in your coat?

Dr. John Watson: Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: Off we go, then.

[Janine shows Sherlock three tabloid newspaper headlines for stories she had sold: "Shag-a-lot Holmes", "7-Times a Night in Baker Street" and "He Made Me Wear the Hat"]

Janine: I'm buying a cottage. And I made a lot of money out of you, mister. Nothing hits the spot like revenge with profits.

Sherlock Holmes: You didn't give those stories to Magnussen, did you?

Janine: God, no. One of his rivals. He was spitting.

Sherlock Holmes: Hm.

Janine: Sherlock Holmes, you are a back-stabbin', heartless, manipulative bastard.

Sherlock Holmes: And you, as it turns out, are a grasping, opportunistic, publicity-hungry, tabloid whore.

Janine: So, we're good, then?

Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, of course. Where's the cottage?

Janine: Sussex Downs.

Sherlock Holmes: Mm, nice.

Janine: It's gorgeous. There's beehives, but I'm getting rid of those.

Mycroft Holmes: Also... your loss would break my heart.

Sherlock Holmes: [coughs] What the hell am I supposed to say to that?

Mycroft Holmes: Merry Christmas.

Sherlock Holmes: You hate Christmas.

Mycroft Holmes: Yes. Perhaps there was something in the punch.

Sherlock Holmes: Clearly. Go and have some more.

Mum: Are you two smoking?

Mycroft Holmes: No!

Sherlock Holmes: It was Mycroft!

Mycroft Holmes: Why are we doing this? We never do this.

Mum: We are here because Sherlock is home from hospital, and we are all very happy.

Mycroft Holmes: Am I happy, too? I haven't checked.

Dr. John Watson: I don't understand.

Charles Magnussen: You should have that on a t-shirt.

Dr. John Watson: [... much later] I still don't understand.

Charles Magnussen: And there's the back of the t-shirt.

[Last lines]

Mary Morstan: But he's dead. I mean, you told me he was dead, Moriarty.

Dr. John Watson: Absolutely. Blew his own brains out.

Mary Morstan: So how can he be back?

Dr. John Watson: Well if he is, he'd better wrap up warm. There's an east wind coming.

Sherlock Holmes: [Door busts out. Sherlock comes out with John following him, both shouting angrily] For God's sakes, John! I'm on a case!

Dr. John Watson: A month! That's all it took! One!

Sherlock Holmes: Working!

Dr. John Watson: Sherlock Holmes, in a drug den! How's that gonna look?

Sherlock Holmes: I'm undercover.

Dr. John Watson: No, you're not!

Sherlock Holmes: Well, I'm not NOW!

Bill Wiggins: You broke my arm!

Dr. John Watson: Nope, I sprained it.

Bill Wiggins: It feels squishy. Is it supposed to feel squishy? Feel there!

[Extends arm to John]

Dr. John Watson: Yeah, it's a sprain. I'm a doctor. I know how to sprain people. Now where is Isaac Whitney?

Bill Wiggins: I don't know. Maybe upstairs.

Dr. John Watson: [pats Billy on the leg] There you go. Wasn't that easy?

Bill Wiggins: No, it was really sore. Mental you are.

Dr. John Watson: Nope, just used to a better class of criminal.

Isaac Whitney: Dr. Watson?

Dr. John Watson: Yep.

Isaac Whitney: Where am I?

Dr. John Watson: The arse-end of the universe with the scum of the Earth. Look at me.

Isaac Whitney: Have you come for me?

Dr. John Watson: D'you think I know a lot of people here?

[Isaac laughs hazily]

Dr. John Watson: Hey, you all right?

Sherlock Holmes: [in the corner behind John, turning to reveal his face] Oh, hello, John! Didn't expect to see you here. Come for me, too?

Bill Wiggins: All right, Shezza?

Dr. John Watson: "Shezza"?

Sherlock Holmes: I was undercover.

Mary Morstan: Seriously, "Shezza" though?

Dr. John Watson: We're not going to home, we're going to Barts. I'm calling Molly.

Mary Morstan: Why?

Dr. John Watson: [while holding up phone to ear] Because Sherlock Holmes needs to pee in a jar.

Bill Wiggins: Is it his shirt?

Sherlock Holmes: I'm sorry?

Bill Wiggins: Well, it's the creases, innit? The two creases down the front. It's been recently folded but it's not new. You must have dressed in a hurry this morning - so all your shirts must be kept like that. But why? Maybe 'cause you cycle to work every morning, shower when you get there an' then dress in the clothes you brought with ya. You keep your shirts folded ready to pack.

Sherlock Holmes: Not bad.

Bill Wiggins: An' I further deduce you've only started recently because you've got a bit of chafing.

Sherlock Holmes: No, he's always walked like that. Remind me, what's your name again?

Bill Wiggins: They call me the Wig.

Sherlock Holmes: No they don't.

Bill Wiggins: [awkwardly] Well, they... they call me Wiggy.

Sherlock Holmes: Nope.

Bill Wiggins: Bill. Bill Wiggins.

Sherlock Holmes: Nice observational skills, Billy.

Dr. John Watson: It's for a case, you said.

Sherlock Holmes: Yep.

Dr. John Watson: What sort of case?

Sherlock Holmes: Too big and dangerous for any sane individual to get involved in.

Dr. John Watson: You're trying to put me off?

Sherlock Holmes: God, no. I'm trying to recruit you.

Sherlock Holmes: You know Magnussen as a newspaper owner, but he is so much more than that. He uses his power and wealth to gain information. The more he acquires, the greater his wealth and power, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that he knows the critical pressure point on every person of note or influence in the whole of the Western world and probably beyond. He is the Napoleon of blackmail, and he's created an unassailable architecture of forbidden knowledge. Its name is Appledore.

Dr. John Watson: Dinner.

Sherlock Holmes: Sorry, what? Dinner?

Dr. John Watson: Me and Mary coming for... dinner with... wine and... sitting.

Sherlock Holmes: Seriously? I've just told you that the Western world is run from this house, and you want to talk about dinner?

Dr. John Watson: Fine. Talk about the house.

Sherlock Holmes: It is the greatest repository of sensitive and dangerous information anywhere in the world, the Alexandrian library of secrets and scandals, and none of it is on a computer. He's smart. Computers can be hacked. It's all on hard copy in vaults underneath that house; and, as long as it is, the personal freedom of anyone you've ever met is a fantasy.

[at Sherlock's apartment]

Sherlock Holmes: I understood we were meeting at your office.

Charles Magnussen: This IS my office. Well, it is now.

Dr. John Watson: Did you just get engaged to break into an office?

Sherlock Holmes: Yeah. Stroke of luck meeting her at your wedding. You can take some of the credit.

Dr. John Watson: Je... Jesus, Sherlock, she loves you.

Sherlock Holmes: Yes. Like I said - human error.

Dr. John Watson: What're you gonna do?

Sherlock Holmes: Well, not actually marry her, obviously. There's only so far you can go.

Dr. John Watson: So what will you tell her?

Sherlock Holmes: Well, I'll tell her that our entire relationship was a ruse to get into her boss's office. I'll imagine she'll want to stop seeing me at that point, but you're the expert on women.

Mycroft Holmes: What was directly behind you when you were murdered?

Little Sherlock: Not been murdered yet.

Mycroft Holmes: Balance of probability, little brother.

Dr. John Watson: Is everyone I've ever met a psychopath?

Sherlock Holmes: Yes. Good that we've settled that.

Dr. John Watson: You! What have I ever done - hm? - my whole life to deserve you?

Sherlock Holmes: Everything.

Dr. John Watson: Sherlock, I've told you... shut up.

Sherlock Holmes: No, I mean it, seriously. Everything - everything you've ever done - is what you did.

Dr. John Watson: Sherlock, one more word and you will not need morphine.

Sherlock Holmes: You were a doctor who went to war. You're a man who couldn't stay in the suburbs for more than a month without storming a crack den, beating up a junkie. Your best friend is a sociopath who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high. That's me, by the way. Hello. Even the landlady used to run a drug cartel.

Mrs. Hudson: It was my husband's cartel. I was just typing.

Sherlock Holmes: And exotic dancing.

Sherlock Holmes: Right here, right now, what... is... she?

Dr. John Watson: [sniffs] Okay. Your way. Always your way.

[clears throat, places a chair in the middle of the room]

Dr. John Watson: Sit.

Mary Morstan: Why?

Dr. John Watson: Because that's where they sit - the people who come in here with their stories - the... the clients. That's all you are now, Mary. You're a client. This is where you sit and talk, and this is where we sit and listen, then we decide if we want you or not.

[All sit in their designated chairs]

Charles Magnussen: Everything's available for a price. You making me an offer?

Sherlock Holmes: A christmas present.

Charles Magnussen: Then what are you giving me for Christmas, Mr. Holmes?

Sherlock Holmes: My brother.

Dr. John Watson: The game is over.

Sherlock Holmes: The game is never over, John. But there may be some new players now. That's OK, the East Wind takes us all in the end.

Dr. John Watson: What's that?

Sherlock Holmes: It's a story my brother told me when we were kids. The East Wind is a terrifying force that lays waste to all in its path. It seeks out the unworthy and plucks them from the earth. That was generally me.

Dr. John Watson: Nice.

Sherlock Holmes: He's a rubbish big brother.

Mum: Behave, Myke.

Mycroft Holmes: Mycroft is the name you gave me if you can possibly struggle your way to the end.

Mycroft Holmes: [on Magnussen] I'm just curious, though. It's hardly your usual kind of puzzle. Why do you hate him?

Sherlock Holmes: Because he attacks people who are different and preys on their secrets. Why don't you?

[John goes to the house of crackheads with a tyre lever]

Mary Morstan: It is a tiny bit sexy.

Dr. John Watson: Yeah, I know.

Mycroft Holmes: I hope I won't have to threaten you as well.

Dr. John Watson: Well, I think we'd both find that embarrassing.

Sherlock Holmes: Have a lovely day. Call me later.

Janine: I might do. I might call you. Unless I meet someone prettier.

[She kisses Sherlock]

Janine: Solve me a crime Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes: John, there's something I should say, I've meant to say always and I never have. Since it's unlikely we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now.

[Takes a deep breath]

Sherlock Holmes: Sherlock is actually a girl's name.

Mary Morstan: [Preparing to enter the drug den, John places a weapon in his waistband] What is that?

Dr. John Watson: It's a tyre lever.

Mary Morstan: [laughing] Why?

Dr. John Watson: 'Cause there were loads of smackheads in there, and one of them might need help with a tyre.