Hick Quotes

Luli McMullen: You kill your own chickens?

Beau: Afirmative.

Luli McMullen: Don't you feel sorry for them?

Beau: Negative.

Luli McMullen: Do you name them before you kill them?

Beau: Uh nope, I name them after I kill them.

Luli McMullen: Yeah, "lunch" and "dinner".

Beau: [hearty laughing] Yeah. Yeah.

Luli McMullen: Where are we?

Eddie Kreezer: We're in the Old fuckin' West, darling!

Lux: Do you always carry a gun like that?

Luli McMullen: It's not a gun. It's a 45, Smith & Wesson.

Luli McMullen: Glenda, do you go to church?

Glenda: [sniffing coke] Church is for brunettes.

Glenda: Come on give me your hand, I can't leave my eyes closed for too long while I'm drivin'.

Glenda: Dear God, don't let that old guy die - yet. Best wishes, Glenda.

Glenda: Do you like whiskey?

Luli McMullen: Uh, no.

Glenda: What, are you some kinda communist?

Eddie Kreezer: Smart and pretty. That right there is a deadly combination.

Luli McMullen: You, you think I'm pretty?

Eddie Kreezer: Do I think you're what?

Luli McMullen: Pret... you heard me.

Eddie Kreezer: I guess.

Luli McMullen: Well, do you or don't you?

Eddie Kreezer: I think if it weren't for that horrible mouth of yours, then some people, not me of course, but I think some people might find you somewhat kind of attractive. In a fury little animal sort of way.

[both start grinning and laughing]

[last lines]

Luli McMullen: You could grab the past and drag it with you like a bag of rocks. You can grab that new diet with grape fruits, and a brand new exerciser, and maybe that new washer-dryer set. You can grab and grab and grab, 'til your fists turn green. You can grab everything you ever wanted. Shake it. Try to make it go boom. Yeah, you can never ever grab enough. Pop!

[first lines]

Male student: [walking past her] Bar baby!

Female student: Yeah, I heard she was born in a bar.

Luli McMullen: [narrating] You could shake your knuckles at the sky. You could get mad and say, "I don't got nothing." You could get stuck.

Lux: [at dining table, realizing scantily-clad young child is approaching him armed with a revolver] Oh, uhm...

Luli McMullen: Get down.

Lux: [meekly] Okay.

Luli McMullen: [impatiently hurrying him up] Get down!

Lux: [cautious and sweating] Do you always carry a gun like that?

Luli McMullen: It's not a gun, it's a .45 Smith & Wesson.

Lux: Well, uhm, maybe you could give your Mom my card... Let her know I dropped by...

Luli McMullen: [holds the revolver straight and true, unwavering] Who are you, Mister?

Lux: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I should introduce myself. I'm Lux Val. I'm in investments.

[smiles]

Luli McMullen: Investments?

Lux: Yeah, you know, uh, land, properties, stuff like that.

[laughs, gets up, but she waves him back]

Luli McMullen: [fake laugh] Well, look, Phil, do you always break into people's houses at eight o'clock in the morning?

Lux: Uh, no, but your door is... Your screen door was open, and there was no door bell, so I...

Luli McMullen: Do you think I'm pretty?

Lux: Excuse me?

Luli McMullen: Like... like if you saw me... on the street or something, would... would you want to kiss me?

[the revolver still pointed]

Lux: [stammering, sweating, unsure] I don't... think I'm supposed to...

[self-effacing gesture]

Lux: No, I'm not... Uh... Ah... Is it? Uh... Okay?

[wipes brow]

Tammy: [entering] Luli, what in the hell is going...? Oh, Mr. Phil, well, you're here at 7 AM.

Lux: It's actually eight, Mrs. McMullen.

Tammy: Luli, you are such a card with that gun.

Luli McMullen: It's not a gun, it's a .45.

Tammy: Well, put it down!

Lux: [stammering] Smith & Wesson...

Luli McMullen: It's a Smith & Wesson .45.