-
[after sex]
Robot: Earth women who experience sexual ecstasy with mechanical assistance always tend to feel guilty!
-
Edsel: [completely wasted from Nyborg] I think... you're coming in a little high, man.
Zeks: [wasted from Nyborg, but more lucid] Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. It's like you know your perspective's fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight.
-
Taarak the Defender: [voiceover] To defend: this is the pact. But when life loses its meaning and is taken for naught, then the pact is to avenge!
-
Den: [voiceover] There was no way I was gonna walk around this place with my dork hanging out!
-
Den: [as the Queen presents her disrobed body to him] Wow! 18 years of nothing, and now twice in one day! What a place!
-
Harry Canyon: [after the redhead told him about why her father was killed] I didn't know whether to believe her or not. Something inside me told me it was a sucker player.
Girl (segment "Harry Canyon"): Harry... can I sleep with you?
[takes off her clothes]
Harry Canyon: Yeah. Sure.
[the redhead climbs into his bed and they have sex]
Harry Canyon: Sucker play or not, I must have turned her on somethin' fierce. 'Cause this dame was goin' for broke. Or maybe it was her first time with a New Yorker, I dunno. Anyway, nothing can beat good old American know-how. And I was givin' this broad "The Stars and Stripes Forever".
-
Desk Sergeant: Before you go any further, pal, I gotta tell ya it's cash up front. A thousand bucks a day for a full investigation, another thou' if the assailant is caught. Do you understand?
Harry Canyon: Yeah. Hey, here's a dollar. Thanks for nothin'.
Desk Sergeant: Think you can do better?... Punk.
-
Harry Canyon: [voiceover] The U.N. Building. What a joke! They turned it into low rent housing. It's a dump.
-
[first lines]
Narrator: A shadow shall fall over the universe, and evil will grow in its path, and death will come from the skies.
-
Hanover Fiste: [about Stern] He's nothing but a low-down, double-dealing, backstabbing, larcenous perverted worm! Hanging's too good for him. Burning's too good for him! He should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!
-
Harry Canyon: [about the redhead] Pretty but dumb. Even though she was gonna kill me, I kinda felt sorry for her. She was okay, just a little greedy. As for me, I put it down as a two-day ride with one hell of a tip.
-
Edsel: [about the robot] Uh, typical robot. The first Earth chick we see in 10 years and he has to make a play for her.
-
Gloria: [to the robot] I'm just scared I'll come home one day and find you screwing a toaster. I forgot one thing, are you circumcised?
-
Zeks: Hey, do we have any of that Plutonian Nyborg left?
Edsel: Uh, yeah. Just one bag. Uh, it's in the transmitter compartment.
Zeks: Thanks, man. Oh, great.
[lays out a long, thick Nyborg line on the floor]
Zeks: Think this is enough?
Edsel: Uhh... nah. Go for broke.
Zeks: Good thinking, man.
[lays Nyborg all over the floor in overlapping heavy lines]
Zeks, Edsel: [in jubilant unison] Nose dive!
-
Hanover Fiste: [about Stern] He never did... anything that was... illegal...
[pauses]
Hanover Fiste: Unless you count all the times he sold dope disguised as a nun.
-
[looking at a beautiful naked woman with huge breasts]
Den: [voiceover] She had the most beautiful eyes. I wanted to make some conversation. But I found my new self asking the same old stupid questions.
[to the woman]
Den: Are you from around here?
Katherine (segment "Den"): Well, you may not believe this, but I'm from another planet. It's called Earth.
Den: Earth. I too am from Earth.
Katherine (segment "Den"): My name is Katherine Wells. I am from the British Colony Gibraltar. You saved my life. I have no reward to give you, but if any part of me pleases your senses, I will give it to you willingly.
[they lie down on the ground and start to have sex]
-
Barbarian Leader: [gloating over Taarna, who is bound naked to a torture rack] So this is the Taarakian. Somehow, I thought it would be more difficult to capture a Taarakian.
-
Girl (segment "Grimaldi"): [the astronaut comes home with a grey box. he is greeted by his daughter] What did you bring me?
Grimaldi: You'll see.
[the astronaut goes into the parlor. his daughter follows]
Girl (segment "Grimaldi"): [she runs after him] Wait, wait for me. What is it?
Loknar: [the astronaut opens the box and a green orb rises out. it hovers in front of him for a second, then destroys his body in a gooey mass of flesh and bone. it evaporates quickly into nothing. the orb confronts the girl] Do not try to escape. You are in my control. Look at me: I am the sum of all evils. Look carefully. My power infests all times, all galaxies, all dimensions. But many still seek me out; a green jewel they must possess. But see how I destroy their lives.
[the screen cuts to the first story]
-
Loknar: [the first story, "Harry Canyon" ends] You've had your first lesson, young one. My evil corrupts the most innocent. I've chosen you because you possess powers you do not yet understand. Look again. Look deep into me. In some worlds, I'm worshiped as God.
[the second story, "Den" begins]
-
Loknar: [Hanover's hand rots away while it holds the orb] Very few escape my grasp.
[the sky cuts to a group of army planes]
Loknar: Even in death, my powers continue.
[the fourth story, "B-17" begins]
-
Loknar: [Den and Katharine fly off, ending the second story. the Loc-Nar breaks out of the scepter] Even when someone has the strength to discard me, my power is not diminished.
[the orb rises through the air and into a space station. a hand picks it up off the floor]
Loknar: Someone always finds me.
[the third story, "Captain Sternn" begins]
-
Loknar: [the fifth story, "So Beautiful, So Dangerous" ends. the space station fades away] My stories are almost over. I have chosen you because you are the future who could destroy me. With your death, I break the chain for all time. Look into me, one final time. See my evil destroy your race. Then prepare to die.
[the final story, "Taarna" begins]
-
Prosecutor: Are you Captain Lincoln F. Sternn?
Stern: [haughtily] I am.
Prosecutor: Lincoln Sternn, you stand here accused of 12 counts of murder in the first degree, 14 counts of armed theft of Federation property, 22 counts of piracy in high space, 18 counts of fraud, 37 counts of rape...
[pauses to check the criminal record]
Prosecutor: ...and one moving violation. How do you plead?
Stern: [haughtily] Not guilty.
-
Barbarian Leader: [the leader emerges from the Loc-Nar's evil/lava ooze, deformed and sinister] Death. Death! Death to all who oppose us!
-
Ard: I am Ard... Supreme Leader of the Revolution and Next Ruler of the World.
-
Stern: [repeated line to his lawyer] It's all right, Charlie. I've got an angle.
Lawyer: But the most we can hope for is to get you buried in secrecy so your grave don't get violated!
-
Queen: Neverwhere is a troubled land. Your great strength has brought peace to my restless body. It can bring great peace to all the troubled people of this land.
Den: [voiceover] I knew I was good. But I didn't know I was that good.
-
Den: [after Ard informs Den he must steal the Loc-Nar from the Queen in order to save Katherine] And if I refuse?
Ard: If you refuse, you die; she dies... everybody dies!
Den: [voiceover] Sounded reasonable to me!
-
Loknar: [Taarna flies over the volcano and begins her self-sacrifice. she uses the energy from her warrior lineage and her golden sword to destroy the Loc-Nar] Taarna, do not sacrifice yourself. You cannot destroy me.
-
[last lines]
Narrator: And the spirit of Taarna is transferred across the universe to a new Defender. And the power of evil is contained for another generation. And a new Taarakian is born to protect the next.
-
Pilot (segment "B-17"): Holden, are you okay?
Co-Pilot (segment "B-17"): [he gets up inside the plane] Y-Yeah. Yeah, I-I'm... I'm coming back, Skip.
-
Co-Pilot (segment "B-17"): [Holden opens up the door, when suddenly, he looked down and saw a zombie lunging his shoulders and screams into pain]
Pilot (segment "B-17"): What the hell is happening back there?
[takes off his headphones]
Pilot (segment "B-17"): Oh, Shit!
Heavy Metal Quotes
Extended Reading
