-
Homeless Man: I wouldn't do that if I was you, you'll just end up blowing your damn face off. Then you'll still be depressed, even more depressed probably because of your fucked up face.
-
Miles: Did I win?
-
Nix: Never bring a spork to a gunfight.
-
Miles: Behind the keyboard I'm the ultimate troll hunter. I know I should just let it go, but I just couldn't resist. Yeah, get angry at me. Let's do this.
-
Nix: I have the power!
-
Nix: Friday night just got really lonely!
-
Miles: Don't worry, this isn't a love story about some nerd trying to get the girl like she's an Xbox achievement to be unlocked.
-
Zander: Cops are looking for you. Seems like you're in some deep shit now. Always knew you were a fuck up.
Miles: Let me go.
Zander: What'cha gonna do? Take me on? You gonna hit me amigo? You el loco?
Miles: Shut the fuck up! Stop pretending you speak fucking spanish you fucking idiot!
Zander: Hey I'm sorry please don't kill me.
Miles: You put me down every time I come in that door! You docked my pay for attending my mother's funeral, and you hit on my girlfriend in front of me! I am so sick of you and all of your fucking shit! Fuck you and fuck that fucking chipmunk!
-
Miles: No respawns. No one-ups. No extra lives. I just killed this fucking guy.
-
Dane: Stop. Hammer time.
-
Riktor: There are others. Skizm is a global franchise now. We're gonna be the Starbucks of murder. The Mcdonald's of massacre, yeah. We'll be the burger king of... badness.
-
Nix: Just go, come on.
Miles: What? Me? Why do I have to go first?
Nix: Open the fucking door.
Miles: I'm not exactly great at opening doors right now.
Nix: Come on.
Miles: Honestly, I still don't trust you. You might shoot me in the back.
Nix: I promise, that when I do shoot you, it will be in the front.
Miles: You have already shot me like a dozen times. I can feel the bullets rattling inside me when I walk.
-
Fuckface: Having trouble breathing?
-
Fuckface: Kill them!
-
Miles: Fun factoid, guns are way loud than in the movies. In real life, Rambo would not be killing guerilla fighters, he would be learning sound language.
-
Nix: Hey, thrift-store-leather-daddy. Suck my clit. No one is killing fuck boy.
Miles: Yay!
Nix: Except me, of course!
Miles: Oh.
-
Miles: [Narrating] You see, in real life, watching your ex pistol-whip some guy's teeth out gives you PTSD, not a raging lady boner.
Guns Akimbo Quotes
Extended Reading
