Guarding Tess Quotes

Doug Chesnic: [Calming the hospital employee who insisted it's hospital policy that patients leave by wheelchair] The regulations aren't really that sacred, are they?

Doug Chesnic: [while taking his sunglasses] And Tess... Get in the god damn chair.

Tess Carlisle: [while sitting in the wheel chair, with Fredrick pushing from behind, taps hand with her right hand] Hmm. Very good, Douglas. You're going to be all right.

Frederick: [sitting at the counter, preparing Tess' breakfast in the kitchen] Just back to pick up your accoutrements?

Doug Chesnic: [while making coffee] Speak English Fred.

Frederick: [Doug walks out of the kitchen and up the stairs to 'Tess' bedroom] Just back to pick up your shit?

Tess Carlisle: [implying Bob should called Doug, while in the canned goods aisle in the supermarket] It's got no price at all.

Bob Hutcherson: [over the radio] Yes ma'am. Uh, Doug, this is Bobby in canned goods, are you anywhere near the manager? I need a price check on Lesieur baby peas, repeat, Lesieur baby peas.

Doug Chesnic: Lesieur baby peas.

Store Manager: They're on special today, two for .59.

Doug Chesnic: [over the radio] They're on special today, two for .59.

Bob Hutcherson: [over the radio] Uh, copy that, it's two for .59.

Tess Carlisle: But I only want one.

Bob Hutcherson: Uh, roger that, Doug, but she only wants one.

Doug Chesnic: How much for just one?

Store Manager: The same. It's a two for one thing.

Doug Chesnic: [over the radio] Uh, Bobby, it's a two for one thing so I suggest you go ahead and get both.

Bob Hutcherson: [over the radio] Uh, copy that Doug but I believe we've lost in interest in peas, repeat, lost interest in peas. Canned goods out.

Store Manager: [to Doug, as other secret secret service agents escort Tess around the supermarket] Does she want to be known today?

[Doug shakes his head]

Store Manager: [to customers and cashiers] Don't know her! Don't know her! Don't know her!

Doug Chesnic: [standing next to him] Where is she Earl?

Earl Fowler: [dismissively, sitting the hospital bed] Speak to my lawyer Agent... Agent Dougie.

Tess Carlisle: [in her bedroom] I have some exciting news for you. I have an inoperable brain tumor.

[pause]

Tess Carlisle: I have bought you and your men a scud missile launcher.

[pause]

Tess Carlisle: We are going to the opera in Columbus. Which of those do you think is true?

Doug Chesnic: When?