Go Quotes

Ronna: I need a favor.

Todd: Wow, I didn't know we were such good friends, Ronna! Because if we were, you would know I give head before I give favors and I didn't even give my best friends head, so the chance of your getting a favor right now is pretty fucking slim.

Todd: Ronna, I just gave you a favor.

Ronna: And here I thought you just gave me head.

Todd: You come here, out of the blue, asking for 20 hits. Just so happens 20 is the magic number where intent to sell becomes trafficking!

Ronna: Todd, I would never fuck you like that.

Todd: How would you fuck me?

Tiny: Yo, I told you, my mother's mother's mother was black!

Marcus: Your mother's mother's mother, f*** - this ain't "Roots", mutha... Man, I wanna see a picture of this Nubian princess. If you were any less black, you would be clear.

Zack: It really didn't go as bad as it could have.

Adam: A girl is dead, Zack.

Zack: I didn't say it went perfectly.

[Referring to the Family Circus comic strip]

Todd: And it's always there, in the lower right hand corner, just waiting to suck.

[Selling allergy medicine as drugs]

Ronna: You know what makes it even better? If you take like a lot of pot with it. I mean like, like a lot of pot.

Simon Baines: He's a good guy.

Marcus: Oh, he's the good drug dealer.

Burke: Listen, I just want to make a deal here. Can we make a deal?

Ronna: Who the fuck are you? Monty Hall?

Ronna: I could leave something with you. Collateral.

Todd: I already got a fuckin' Swatch.

[Adam and Zack are in the rain trying to make space in their trunk to put a body in it]

Zack: Wait! Stop! Hold it!

Adam: What? What?

Zack: It's a Miata!

[after the wild night]

Mannie: So... what are we doing for New Years?

Todd: What do you want for Christmas, Claire?

Claire: I don't know.

Todd: Do you want to get laid?

Claire: No.

Todd: No, you don't wanna get laid, or no, you do, but you don't wanna get laid - with me?

Tiny: And whack! It hits her in the eye. And her contact? It's, like, stuck on the end of my dick!

[Tiny waits for a reaction, but his friends are unimpressed. Only Marcus, in the front passenger seat, turns his head, alertly, like a lion smelling prey]

Tiny: Yo, her contact was stuck on the end of my dick, yo!

Marcus: Was it hard or was it soft?

Tiny: What, my dick?

Singh: The contact lens!

Marcus: Do you remember if it was a colored lens? That she used to have two blue eyes, and now she had one blue and one brown?

Tiny: [Still elated from telling his story] Hey, what the fuck does that matter?

Marcus: [Marcus turns to look at Tiny over the headrest of the front passenger seat, and stares him straight in the eye] It matters because it happened to ME. That was my story. I told that story a year ago, man!

Tiny: Aw, no.

Marcus: The difference is that I knew those small but important details. That and, and my story was true.

Tiny: Oh.

[Embarrassed, he looks out the window, away from Marcus]

Tiny: Whatever.

Marcus: Whatever?

Tiny: Whatever!

Marcus: What do you mean, whatever?

Tiny: Why don't you pull your stinky-dinky out of my ass? I'm just trying to make conversation. Fuck! Come on, why don't you give a nigger a break?

Marcus: [Marcus turns around in the car seat again] "Nigger"? What nigger?

[touches his own chest]

Marcus: THIS nigger?

Tiny: Yo, I told you, my mother's mother's mother were black!

Marcus: Your mother's mother's mother, fuck - this ain't "Roots", mutha... Man, I wanna see a picture of this Nubian princess.

[angry cross-talk]

Marcus: If you were any less black, you would be clear.

Tiny: That bitch was black as night!

Singh: Okay! Stop! Truce!

Tiny: But I see black. Because I know I am. Color's a state of mind, Marcus!

Marcus: You know what, you right. Thank you, Rhythm Nation.

[And the laughter and insults continue...]

Stringy Haired Woman: Don't think you're something you're not. I used to have your job.

Ronna: Look how far it got you.

Claire: You're making me an accessory!

Ronna: Okay Claire, that bracelet of mine you're wearing, that's an accessory.

[Claire walks out of the apartment - a gunshot is heard from the apartment - she freezes]

Simon Baines: [from the apartment] It's alright. I'm okay.

Todd: Hey Ronna, how are sales?

Ronna: Todd, I can explain

Todd: I'm not going to ask you to. It's not like I'm in a highly ethical industry. But Goddamned, Ronna. You fucked me over for twenty lousy hits!

[after being asked by Burke to sell the Amway-like Confederated Products]

Zack: I have to do something terribly unwholesome after that. I need to bathe in sin.

Adam: With me, or one of your other boyfriends?

[while escaping from Victor Sr. and Junior Jr]

Tiny: WHO DA FUCK WE RUNNIN' FROM?

Zack: [after being asked by Burke to sell Confederated Products] Uhh, wait. Wait. You want us to sell Amway?

Burke: It's Confederated Products. It's a different company, it's a different quality of product.

[Claire and Todd are having breakfast together, and he's reading the funnies in the newspaper]

Claire: So, what do you have against The Family Circus?

Todd: Okay. You sit down and read your paper, and you're enjoying your entire two-page comics spread. Right? And then there's the Family fucking Circus, bottom right-hand corner, just waiting to suck.

[last lines]

Mannie: So, what are we doing for New Year's?

Marcus: You can order anything you want so long as it's not what?

Simon Baines: Champagne

barmaid: What'll it be?

Marcus: Let me get a vodka tonic and a beer, please.

Simon Baines: I'd like to buy your most expensive bottle of champagne!

Marcus: Dumbass!

Zack: Okay, I just have to say this. The thing is, about Jimmy, he wasn't even that good.

Adam: I know.

Zack: Mediocre at best. And the sounds he made, God, it was like having sex with Nell. Somewhere off Greenland, humpback whales were beaching themselves.

Adam: And the ear thing. Hello, I have Q-Tips, that's really not necessary.

Zack: The only thing I will give him credit for is the oral.

Adam: What do you mean? He was terrible! At some point I just had to stop him and correct years of bad technique. I had to take him by the ears and retrain him from the throat up.

Zack: When was that?

Adam: October, maybe?

Zack: Early October. And he suddenly got so much better.

Adam: That is so disturbing. It's like you were there.

Zack: I have cheated on you with exactly one guy.

Adam: Ditto.

Zack: Who?

Adam: No. See, if I tell you, you will freak out and it will be drama. Bad, not-funny, Roseanne kind of drama, and I am just not up for it.

Zack: I'll tell you mine.

Adam: No.

Zack: Why not?

Adam: You can't wait to tell me, can you? You're gloating! You think yours is better than mine!

Zack: I don't!

Adam: It's Sean Connery, isn't it?

Zack: Count of three.

Adam: All right. Sure.

[pause]

Adam: Wait.

[pause]

Adam: Okay.

[they silently count three on their fingers, and then...]

Adam, Zack: [simultaneously] Jimmy in makeup.

Marcus: The thing is, most people, they really don't know how to make love. Okay? They stick it in, move it around a little bit till they get off, but what Tantra teaches you is how to deepen it. Prolong the sexual experience. Okay? Bring it to a higher level. If one man in ten was having the sex that I'm having, there'd be no war.

Simon Baines: Alright, man. So what's the longest you and her ever did it?

Marcus: Fourteen hours.

Singh: [in disbelief] Holy shit, man! Come on!

Tiny: How many times you shoot?

Marcus: Not once, man.

Simon Baines: Fourteen hours? You didn't go once? Not even in the end?

Marcus: That's the thing, you redirect the orgasm inside. How long do your orgasms usually last? Two, three seconds? I've had orgasms that have lasted up to an hour and a half, man.

Simon Baines: That has got to be bullshit.

Marcus: Honest to God, and I do mean Allah.