Ghost Graduation Quotes

Modesto: Every school in the area has fired me.

Psiquiatra vivo: But you don't see dead people anymore. We still need to pinpoint the problem. Dead people are buried in the ground, right? In holes. It's time to accept their existence.

Modesto: Dead people?

Psiquiatra vivo: No, the hole. It's the hole that scares you. And the hole, my dear Modesto, is your anus. How can I put this...? You're gay.

Modesto: I'm not gay.

Psiquiatra vivo: Sure you are. Repeat after me: "I'm gay and there's no such thing as ghosts."

Psiquiatra muerto: [listening in on his son from the next room] I put this kid in college for nothing.

Otegui: I don't want to disturb you, but I'm worried about Desiree's Mother's Day drawing.

Desiree: It's Mama.

Tina: Let me see. How pretty. I see she smokes. She has a cigar in her mouth.

Desiree: It's not a cigar. It's a turd.

Otegui: It's a turd. I'd like to speak to the art teacher.

Tina: He quit last month.

Otegui: Another one? How many is that?

Tina: I don't know.

Otegui: Eight. We've been keeping track.

Jorge: [about Modesto] Why isn't he scared?

Mariví: He probably came from a public school.

Girl at Ouija Board: I don't want to die a virgin.

Boy at Ouija Board: You aren't a virgin.

Girl at Ouija Board: I know, but I don't want to die.

Jorge: Why are you talking like that? We're ghosts, not retards.

Dani: Finally, one can see us and he's stupid.

Modesto: Nobody says "dude" or "baloney" anymore.

Dani: Oh, yeah? Do students still punch their teachers in the face?

Modesto: That's as popular as ever, but let's calm down.

Modesto: I need your help.

Psiquiatra vivo: I'm all ears.

Modesto: No, I need YOUR help.

Psiquiatra vivo: I'm all ears.

Psiquiatra muerto: Are you talking to me?

Modesto: Yes.

Psiquiatra muerto: It's a miracle! Finally you notice me!

[Modesto visits the psychiatrist's office looking for help with his dead students]

Psiquiatra muerto: I can help you.

Modesto: Should I take advice from a suicidal therapist?

Psiquiatra muerto: I need to talk to someone. I'm sick of listening to wackos. Not you, of course. Tell me what's their problem.

Modesto: The same as yours.

Psiquiatra muerto: They're sick of my son?

Manuela: A little voodoo could fix this in no time.

Tina: You mean sacrificing chickens?

Manuela: Just one.

Manuela: [possessed by Pinfloy] Tina asked me to call you. She's embarrassed because... Well, dude, she says she's into you.

Modesto: What? She's into me? What do you mean? Is that what she said?

Manuela: To my face. She said "Modesto is hot. He gets my panties wet."

Manuela: Cheer up, sweetie. Yesterday I took care of our problem.

Tina: Don't tell me you killed a chicken.

Manuela: Even better. I humped a spirit.

Pinfloy: Modesto. We have a problem. I haven't got I.D.

Modesto: Don't worry. I know the doorman.