Game Night Quotes

Annie: A guy who rents a house this big must be making up for something pretty small, I'd say.

Max: No no, I've seen his dick, it's pretty great.

Annie: Well, I tried.

Brooks: We can't go to the cops. The Bulgarian's got a ton of moles.

Annie: On his face?

Brooks: No, in the police department.

Annie: Honey, we'll get you to a hospital, okay?

Max: No, no hospital. This is a gunshot wound, they'll call the cops.

Annie: Shit! Okay, so we go to a mob doctor, right?

Max: You know one of those, sweetheart?

Annie: No.

Max: No.

Annie: What about a veterinarian that works for the mob?

Max: You know one of those?

Annie: No.

Brooks: I'm a fraud, Max. I'm not the carefree dude that wins at everything he touches. You know how I win? I cheat. I cheat at everything. I even cheated when we were kids playing Battleship.

Max: What?

Brooks: Didn't you ever wonder why I made you sit with your back to the TV? It was so I could see your ships in the reflection. I mean, I even took five grand every time we played Monopoly, before we even started playing the game. I cheated at the game of life. And at The Game of Life.

Max: You didn't invest in Panera?

Brooks: I ate at Panera.

Max: I think we're gonna be okay though. I got a feeling.

Val: [receiving orders] You want us to kill them all?

Val: Don't even think about it, pig!

Gary: Can't say I care for that nomenclature.

Annie: Can you charade it to me?

Max: Charades? That's some cute full-circle bullshit.

[Goon points a gun at Annie]

Annie: Wait, wait! You don't have to do this! I have kids at home!

Bulgarian Goon: Not with that ass you don't.

Annie: Oh... well... thank you.

Bulgarian Goon: You're welcome.

[Goon gets sucked into a jet engine]

Annie: Yes!

[pause]

Annie: Oh no, he died!

Max: Very nice house, Tony Stark. Should we give our drink orders to JARVIS?

Brooks: I got the Tony Stark part, but then you went full nerd on me.

Gary: Three bags of Tostitos Scoops I noticed.

Max: There was a special on these tonight. Three for one.

Gary: Three for one?

Max: Yup.

Gary: How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay?

Annie: You're not Liam Neeson.

Max: That hurts my feelings.

[first lines]

Max: Who cares about winning? Let's get drunk!

Brooks: Whoever finds the victim wins the grand prize.

[dangling keys]

Brooks: The keys to the Stingray.

Max: What?

Annie: Wow.

Ryan: [densely] Just the keys?

Brooks: No, Ryan, the whole car.

Ryan: [childishly] Oh, yes! Oh, man!

Max: You didn't happen to see a fellow brought in here, looks a little bit like me, but he's got a little bit of a sharper chin and higher cheekbones?

Bartender: So, a better-looking guy?

Brooks: You know, you don't have to do this because I can just poop it out.

The Bulgarian: We're not gonna go digging through your feces. That's disgusting! Now, hold still while I cut your stomach open.

[Max and Annie are hosting a game night and have kept it from Gary]

Gary: I do hope you keep me in mind for any future game nights.

Max: Oh, you bet.

Gary: I've always enjoyed the camaraderie of good friends competing in games of chance and skill.

Annie: Yeah. Yeah, well, we'll do that, but tonight, it's just the two of us.

Gary: Three bags of Tostito's Scoops, I notice.

Max: There was a special on these tonight. Three for one.

Gary: Three for one?

Max: Yep.

Gary: How can that be profitable for Frito Lay?

Max: These corporations, I don't know what they're doing.

Gary: Well, you two enjoy each other. It's often we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.

[Max and Annie wait, until they suddenly realize the conversation is over]

Max: I think that's it.

Annie: Okay. Bye-bye!

[the group shows up unannounced Gary's house, telling him they want a spontaneous game night]

Gary: I will admit I have eagerly awaited a visit such as this.

[Gary steps away from the door and walks back into his dark house]

Annie: Do we follow him?

Max: It seems like it.

Sarah: Ryan, you go first.

Ryan: I'm scared.

Gary: So, Sarah, how long have you two been a couple?

Sarah: Oh, no! No, we're not. We just, we work together. I wouldn't, um, I wouldn't do that thing.

Gary: I see. I thought I detected a certain chemistry between the two of you.

Sarah: No. No way. No, that's not...

Gary: Then again, I'm not the best judge of chemistry in the world.

[There's an awkward silence, followed by uncomfortable laughter]

Ryan: Oh, because your wife left you.

Michelle: We don't come to game night because we're dying to play Charades and s***, we come because we love you guys.

Kevin: Honestly, this is the best part of our week.

Ryan: Mine too, and I have a lot of options on the weekend.

Annie: They didn't have rubbing alcohol and they don't sell hard liquor, so I got you these lovely chard

Max: Nice job. Way to pivot.