Futurama: Bender's Game Quotes

  • [from trailer]

    [the Planet Express crew ends up in a fantasy planet and Leela has transformed into a centaur]

    Turanga Leela: Oh, Lord, I'm half horse and half naked!

  • Frydo: Why aren't you killing it, Leela? You love killing!

    Leegola: [Looking at her reflection in her sword covered with Zoiberg's blood] No! No more killing!

    Monster Zoidberg: Ohhhhhh! So suddenly Miss Goody Four Shoes over here doesn't kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago! What am I, chopped liver?

    Leegola: Shut up!

    [She starts slashing at him again with her sword]

    Monster Zoidberg: Ow! Stop chopping my liver!

  • Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Just knowing we're in the same genus makes me embarrassed to call myself homo.

  • Leegola: What else can we slay? Is that a hobbit over there?

    Titanius Anglesmith: No, that's a hobo and a rabbit. But they're making a hobbit.

  • Bender: Am I the only one sittin' here seein' peanut butter on his face?

  • Titanius Anglesmith: Prepare for a surprise attack.

  • [repeated line]

    Igner: We're owl exterminators!

  • [Momon has transformed into a dragon and with the Die of Power, Frydo transforms into a dragon as well]

    Frydo: So it's all come down to this... a dungeon... and dragons!

    Monster Zoidberg: I didn't see it coming.

  • King of Wipe Castle: [played by Roberto] You callin' me crazy? Just coz I gotta hotel in my foot don't make me a BOOGALEE-MOOGALEE-MOOGALEE!

  • King of Wipe Castle: What the? You're not made of Tuesday!

  • [a troll whacks the King of Wipe Castle on the head with a big stick]

    King of Wipe Castle: My sanity. It's back! At last, I can live the life I've always...

    [the troll whacks him on the head again and makes him fall to the ground]

    King of Wipe Castle: Aaaah! BOOKALOOKAMOOKALEE!

  • The Great Wizard Greyfarn: Yes, tis a powerful object in both our worlds. If you fail to destroy it in yours, perhaps you were brought here that you might have have a second chance!

    Frydo: So this land is real?

    The Great Wizard Greyfarn: Oooh dreadfully real. If you die here you'll really be dead. But instead of science, we believe in crazy hocus-pocus. It's like Kansas.

    Leegola: God help us.

  • Dr. Zoidberg: You harbor resentment because they pushed you to study medicine when all you ever wanted was to be a song-and-dance man.

    [He dances around and sings a tune then falls to his knees and sobs]

    Dr. Zoidberg: Why? Whyyy?

    Turanga Leela: I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.

    Dr. Zoidberg: Then you've got to go to them and work this song-and-dance stuff out. Maybe have them cook me nice dinner. No scallions. I hate them.

    [to an intercom]

    Dr. Zoidberg: Amy, cancel my appointments.

    Amy Wong: [Over the intercom] Stop calling me!

  • Turanga Leela: You're making fun of our ship? Your ship's the most beat-up thing I've ever seen - and I've seen Mickey Rourke's head!

  • Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [the Planet Express ship has been seriously damaged in a demolition derby] Yes, she's a wonderful ship, all right - as beautiful now as the day I got botched laser eye surgery.

  • Dr. Zoidberg: [Under attack by Bender] No! Not the spork!

  • [TV show "Tea with Titans"]

    Morbo: Morbo the Annihilator here, sitting down to a delightful tea in this fake living-room set.

    [shouts angrily]

    Morbo: Thank you for joining us, Mom!

    Mom: My pleasure, Sugar Plum.

    Morbo: Mom, you control the world's only dark-matter mine. Why are fuel prices so high?

    Mom: Oh, it's terrible, isn't it? Dark matter is just so rare nowadays, but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf from the bowels of the Earth, even if I lose money on every log.

  • Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm sure I don't need to explain that all dark matter in the universe is linked in the form of a single non-local metaparticle.

  • Professor Hubert Farnsworth: There's just one small problem - and it's a big one.

  • Philip J. Fry: There's so many killbots behind us, I can't count them all! Three, I think.

  • The Scary Door Narrator: [Voice over] In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens but the humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

  • Bender: Calm down, Leela. You can vent tonight on your blog.

  • Rich Little's head: And now to grace us with its rendition of the national anthem, please welcome what is left of the Dixie Chicks after their tragic matter transporter accident.

  • George Takei's head: Way to kill the franchise, Bakula.

  • Nibbler: It all began 36 years ago on the planet Virgin 6. It was a veritable Eden with brimming with unique and irreplaceable species, most of which were delicious.

  • Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Greedy old hag! Taste the wrath of my fuzzy slipper!

  • Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Wait. Before my moment of shame, could I give my boy a hug?

    [stares at Igner]

    Mom: Oh, go ahead. I've never done it, I guess somebody should.

  • Mom: [after the Professor swallows the anti-backwards crystal] Oh, great move genius, you're in a crap harvesting factory. Boys!

    [Walt holds up a syringe full of prune juice while Larry holds up a pail]

  • Dwight Conrad: [after the Professor activates the crystal's 'high frequency stink'] Dude, who ripped an egger?

    Cubert Farnsworth: [accusingly] He who smelt it, dealt it.

    Dwight Conrad: Yeah? Well, he who denied it, supplied it!

    Cubert Farnsworth: He who articulated it, particulated it!

    Dwight Conrad: He who refuted it, tooted it!

    Cubert Farnsworth: [after a slight pause] Stalemate.