Deputy Rick: Megan, don't clown around.

Megan: I'm not the one with the funny red nose. Now, open the cell and let him out.

Deputy Rick: Meggie.

Megan: I'm not kidding.

Tommy: You better do as she says, because wherever the red dot goes, you bang.
Tommy: The only way to kill Jason is to send him back to his original resting place where he drowned in 1957.

Megan: Lake Forest Green.

Tommy: Crystal Lake.
Tyen: You know what I think? I think we're dead meat.

[a little later on, after hearing Megan screaming]

Tyen: REAL dead meat.

Billy: So, what were you gonna be when you grew up?
Allen Hawes: You just have to see that Jason's dead, right? Seeing his corpse ain't gonna stop your hallucinations!

Tommy: Seeing it won't, but destroying it will. Jason belongs in Hell - and I'm gonna see to it that he gets there.
Tommy: I went to go cremate Jason but I fucked up!

Deputy Rick: You got that right.
Lizabeth: I've seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.
Tommy: Don't shoot, please!

Sheriff Garris: You in show business, kid? You sure know how to make an entrance.

Tommy: Listen, Jason is alive! He killed my friend...

Sheriff Garris: You better slow down, kid. You already almost got your head blown off.

Tommy: Will you listen, dammit?

Sheriff Garris: Don't piss me off or I really will repaint this office with your brains!
Sheriff Garris: Now, that's what's known in the book as "screwing the pooch."
Nancy: Is he killed?
Martin: Shitheads couldn't even stick him back in right. Why'd they have to go and dig up Jason?

[looks at the camera]

Martin: Some folks sure got a strange idea of entertainment.
Tommy Jarvis: You have me where you want me. There's no reason...

Sheriff Garris: If I had you where I wanted you, they'd be pumping your ass full of formaldehyde.
Deputy Rick: This kid really wants us to believe his story.

Sheriff Garris: That's not what worries me. It's how far he'll go to actually prove it.

[Tommy suddenly turns off road]

Sheriff Garris: Fucking-A! What did I tell you? Hit the noise and the cherries.
Sheriff Garris: That's my daughter's car.

Officer Pappas: How do you want us to proceed?

Sheriff Garris: With extreme care, asshole! If the kid's with her, there's every good chance he'll try to do something crazy.

Tommy: [in the car, to Megan] Please don't do anything crazy.
Tommy: Jason's not in his grave! Hawes is. Dig it up! You gotta dig it up! You gotta dig it up!

Martin: Dig him up? Does he think I'm a fart-head?
Martin: [to his liquor bottle] Darling, you're going to be the death of me. But what a lovely way to go, huh?

[tosses the bottle behind him; Jason catches it and stabs Martin with it]
Sheriff Garris: That, what we call it in the books, is screwing the pooch! Iron this punk!
Darren: We're going to scare him.

Lizabeth: We're going to scare him?

Darren: That's right just drive towards him. He'll move. Nobody wants to die.

Lizabeth: Well, that's a freakin' fact. Least of all us.

Darren: Will you just drive? He'll get out of our way.

[she drives up to Jason and stops and Jason doesn't move]

Lizabeth: Yeah. That really scared the shit out of him.
Officer Pappas: Hey, hey, what are you doing running around out here? Now you go on back to bed.

Nancy: No! No, no, there's a scary man!

Officer Pappas: Aww, what scary man?

[Jason appears]
Sheriff Garris: Holler if you see anything.

Officer Pappas: Like what?

Sheriff Garris: Anything that don't belong.
Sissy: You mean the Jason of Camp Blood?

Tommy Jarvis: Yes.

Sheriff Garris: No.
Deputy Rick: Mike, over here!

[Garris arrives and Rick points to the ground, where they see arms and legs of a paintball player]

Deputy Rick: I'll order up some body bags.

Sheriff Garris: [referring to Tommy] Our boy sure wants us to believe his story.

Deputy Rick: Well, he picked the right day to pull this shit.

Sheriff Garris: What do you mean?

Deputy Rick: Happy Friday the 13th.
Tommy: Please, Sheriff. You'll see we dug up it up.

Sheriff Garris: Well, he must've got chilly in the night and pulled the dirt back over.

Tommy: That's not right. Somebody covered it up. I got to see it.

[Rick draws for his gun and points it at Tommy's head]

Deputy Rick: Freeze it, psycho.

Sheriff Garris: Now, see what you've done. You made my deputy draw his revolver. He's been dying to try out his mail-order laser scope.

Deputy Rick: Wherever the red dot goes, you bang.
Martin: [to his Whiskey bottle] Kathleen, you've led me astray.

[kisses the bottle]
Darren: I say we stop the car, get out and start screaming for help.

[Lizbeth stops the car abruptly]

Darren: I was just kidding, Lizabeth.

Lizabeth: Darren, we better turn around.

Darren: Why?

Lizabeth: Because I've seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.

[reveals Jason standing in front of the car]
Cort: Check this out.

[shows Nikki a shredded power cable]

Nikki: What happened to it?

Cort: I don't know, but I suggest if we don't want to look like it we make this place a memory right now.

[Nikki looks at the cord a few seconds and follows Cort meeting him around the other side]

Cort: Nikki, someone's out there. What if it's that guy, Jason?

Nikki: [rushing him into the RV] I don't wanna know!
Nikki: [Nikki and Cort are having sex] This is the best! The best! But you gotta keep it up 'till the end of the song.

Cort: [out of breath] How much longer?

Nikki: Oh, about ten minutes.

[Cort looks at her apprehensively]

Nikki: [Jason pulls the power to the RV and the lights go out] Fuck!

Cort: Aww! Yeah!

Nikki: Cort! You did it already?

Cort: Oh, c'mon wasn't that the end of the song?
Paula: You guys, I'm getting worried.

Cort: About Jason?

Paula: No, about Darren and Lizbeth. They should've at least called, don't you think? Megan?

Megan: What?

Paula: Hello?

Megan: Yeah.

Sissy: This girl's back in the jail cell with her prisoner of love. Don't be messing with no crazy jailbird, girl. Those dudes are bad news.

Megan: And how do you know?

Sissy: I've been around long enough to see plenty on TV.

Megan: TV?
Megan: Maybe he was telling the truth. Just because our parents keep telling us that Jason was only a legend doesn't mean it wasn't true. What if he did come back here, looking for the camp counselor that caused him to drown as a boy, searching for the one that decapitated his vengeful mother? And you do know what today's date is, don't you? And I can think of only one thing even more terrifying.

Cort: What?

[Megan points at the school bus of kids]

Cort: Yay, the kids are here.

Bus Monitor: Here they are, and they're all yours.

Sissy: Think I'd rather deal with old Jason.
Cort: Hey, Nikki, what are you doing back there, taking a dump? Mind if I come back and snatch a peek? Or vice versa?
Cort: Nikki, listen to this.

[as Cort turns up the volume, Jason stabs a hunting knife in Cort's head]
Sissy: [dealing cards] Let's play another game; it's called "Camp Blood".

Paula: [unenthusiastically] Great.

Sissy: See, each face card represents a counselor. The Queen of Hearts is me. Now which one do you want?

Paula: Sissy, I don't want to play.

Sissy: Okay, you can be the Queen of Diamonds. Now, we take this Jack, which is Jason and shuffle him into these piles which represent cabins. The goal of the game is to find out which cabin Jason is in!
Megan: [to Tommy while he's laying in her lap] If I reach Cunningham Road, I can lose them. Stay down!

Tommy: Whatever you say.
Allen Hawes: He put you through a lot, didn't he?

Tommy: Yeah. Fuck you, Jason.
Sheriff Garris: [to Tommy] For all the grief you've given me, you should be leaving wearing your balls as earrings. And if I ever see you around here again, you can guarantee it.
[Burt is angrily cutting through grass with his machete after Katie shot him in a game of paintball]

Burt: Dumb broad! She tricked me! God, they're gonna laugh for months! She should've stayed in the kitchen where she belongs! A woman shouldn't be allowed in these games! It's not a game; it's life!

[Jason grabs and rips off Burt's arm as he raises it, sending him flying into a tree. Jason quizzically stares at Burt's torn-off arm - still holding his machete - that he has in his hand]
[they are playing paintball in the woods]

Stan: This is a man's game. It requires a man's cunning, a man's intelligence...

[Katie jumps out of a bush and shoots Larry and Stan in the chests with her paintball gun]

Katie: ...with a woman's touch.