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Andras: [after seeing Gemma's hat fly off in the wind] Hey look! The hat! He is a Frisbee.
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Tess' Attorney: Florida didn't ruin your life, you did. You married the guy for sex, then expected him to be smart.
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Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: [to his investors, after he accidentally sunk his boat] Hey, boats sink! No one knows why!
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Moe Fitch: Come on, I'm getting old. Let's find some gold!
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Moe Fitch: Well, well, well. If it isn't the Ukrainian sidekick.
Alfonz: I don't think of myself that way. I am the lead character in my own story.
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Alfonz: [to Finn] It's difficult to maintain enthusiasm for your leadership when you keep getting beat up by that old man.
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Tess Finnegan: Your uselessness is epic.
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Tess Finnegan: It's not here.
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: I refuse to believe that.
Tess Finnegan: Well, just because you refuse to believe something doesn't make it true. Or false. Or... whatever the hell I'm saying.
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: Something wrong, Tess?
Tess Finnegan: Something wrong? Why would anything be wrong? We just had sex in a church - and we're not even married - and now we're gonna dig up a grave! I mean, what is that, like a triple sin? I'm surprised we haven't been struck by lightning.
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Moe Fitch: [after Finn jumps from the water onto the plane to save Tess] Now that's a man that loves his wife!
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Tess Finnegan: Nigel, I'm so sorry, but she's gotta learn that there's better ways to get attention than acting like a bimbo.
Alfonz: Like what?
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On Screen Text: [first lines, the text that appears on screen] On July 24th, 1715, in celebration of the marriage of King Philip of Spain, the largest treasure fleet in maritime history set sail from Havana, Cuba.
On Screen Text: The 500 million dollars worth of gold, silver and jewels came to be known as The Queen's Dowry.
On Screen Text: Unfortunately, in his eagerness to consummate the marriage, King Philip ordered the fleet to sail at the worst time of year.
On Screen Text: And so, the great galleons, heavy with their sparkling cargo, sailed straight into a massive hurricane...
On Screen Text: ...and were never seen again.
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Gary: [about Finn] I still can't get over the way he just came up out of the water like that.
Eddie: I know. And holding the sword!
Gary: And he just makes this totally perfect toss and the sword lands straight up in the deck.
Eddie: Amazing!
Gary: But it's more than just the sheer power of his raw sexuality. It's the totality of his emotional commitment to the task at hand.
Eddie: Yeah, it's the focus. It's the focus.
Gary: He sees it; he wants it; he goes after it; he gets it.
Eddie: He sure got me.
Tess Finnegan: Do you mind?
Fool's Gold Quotes
Extended Reading
