Flubber Quotes

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: I was just gonna, you know, grade my lunch, eat a few tests and hope for the best.

Martha George: [about the excitement of getting married] How do you hold it in?

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: [thinking she meant waste] Well, like everybody else, Ruthie. I just cross my legs real tight.

Martha George: [gets a little tickled by that answer] I was talking about your excitement.

Weebo: Maybe you should just go without me.

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Why?

Weebo: Because I get car sick.

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Oh, come on. You're not gonna blow chips.

Weebo: No!

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: You don't have a stomach.

Weebo: I have a queasy gyro.

Wilson Croft: What happened between us, Phil?

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Well, I just got tired of you stealing my ideas, Wilson.

Wilson Croft: I'm not an innovator like you, Phil. I'm an adapter, and to that end, I have profited from your ideas.

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Why are you here?

Wilson Croft: Well, to be honest. I'm here this weekend to steal your fiancee. And make her my wife.

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Well, I think you'll be sadly disappointed.

[Smith and Wesson discuss the incident at Brainard's house]

Chester Hoenicker: All right. One more time, what happened?

Wesson: He took a golf ball. He rubbed this cream on it and then the golf ball took and...

[Wesson makes a popping sound]

Wesson: ...popped Smith in the head.

Smith: Several times.

Chester Hoenicker: Mm-hmm.

Wesson: I got hit with a bowling ball.

Smith: Repeatedly.

Chester Hoenicker: Were you drinking?

Wesson: No.

Smith: Two beers at dinner. Wesson had a white wine.

Wesson: With dinner.

Chester Hoenicker: Right.

Wesson: It's this stuff he's got, sir. Its... I don't know what it is. I don't know where it come from, but...

[Smith and Wesson both sigh]

Wesson: ...It will give you one heck of a headache.

Chester Hoenicker: Oh... goodness.

[after two of Brainard's balls hit Smith and Wesson while testing the Flubber, the bowling ball knocks the cap off a tank of a compressed gas]

Phillip Brainard: [high-pitched voice] This definitely has applications in the field of sports. Ho, ho, ho! Yes!

Rutland Coach: Hey, are you blind? They're doin' something illegal out there.

Referee: Coach, nowhere in the rule book does it say anything about jumpin' too high. Now sit down!

Father: There's not a darn thing to be afraid of, pal. How can anything get in your window? It's closed, OK?

[Flubber crashes through the neighbor's window, bounces around and the boy covers himself in a blanket]

[Brainard and Reynolds are visiting Hoenicker to discuss the Flubber]

Chester Hoenicker: You came to repay your loan?

Phillip Brainard: No.

Chester Hoenicker: I know you didn't. I was just having a little fun.

Phillip Brainard: I'm here to sell you the Flubber.

Chester Hoenicker: You been to your house recently?

Phillip Brainard: Yes.

Chester Hoenicker: Do I really need to buy it?

Phillip Brainard: Flubber's a very quixotic substance. It's very difficult to handle. Have you tried to do anything with it?

Chester Hoenicker: My man is working on it. It won't be a problem.

Phillip Brainard: Well, I could make it a lot easier for you. If you give us a 30 day extension on the loan, I'll tell you everything I know... and make you a great deal of Flubber.

Chester Hoenicker: I'll give you the 30 days, and after that you give me two years. Whatever you come up with over the next two years is mine.

Sara Reynolds: That's not fair.

Chester Hoenicker: Shop somewhere else, lady.

Phillip Brainard: Sara. Sara. I'll do it.

Phillip Brainard: Weebo - - I've just solved all our problems!

Weebo: [showing an image of Dumbo on her display screen] I'm all ears.

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: [to Sara, before he attempts to fall out the window with the flubber springing him back up] Ta-ta, my love.

Sara Reynolds: [deadpan] Are you nuts?

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: I'll be right back!

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: [the flubber flys out of Phillip's back pocket. Phillip falls to the ground]

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Ouch.

Sara Reynolds: Phillip, are you hurt?

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: [pained] Just my pride.

Sara Reynolds: [breaking up with him] Well, if you think that you're gonna get my sympathy, you're wasting your time!

[bumps her head on the shutter]

Sara Reynolds: Ow! We are finished!

[slams the window shut]

Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: [groaning weakly] Sara... Oh!

Weebo: [after Philip saw Sara at the basketball game, having lost her to Wilson] Professor, why the long face?

Professor Philip Brainard: [Takes out a water bottle from the fridge] I think you know why.

Weebo: Maybe... . a Sara issue?

Professor Philip Brainard: Wish I understood human beings. Wish I understood women. Wish I understood emotions and passions. Wish I understood any of that. If I did, I wouldn't have had to spend my entire life in a laboratory trying to figure out how the world works. I would've been out in the world trying to figure out why it works.

Professor Philip Brainard: [Weebo records Philip's message to Sara] I know I love her, Weebo. Every neuron in my limbic system is saturated with phenylethylamine. That triggers euphoria, elation, exhilaration. Truth is, Weebo, I'm not absent-minded because I'm selfish, crazy or, or inconsiderate. I'm absent-minded because I'm in love with Sara.

Weebo: Oh, Professor.

Professor Philip Brainard: That doesn't matter anymore, cause I don't get any more chances with her.

Weebo: Oh, that's not true. There's always another chance. I mean, you never know, right?

Professor Philip Brainard: [Puts water bottle back in the fridge] Probably just as well that it's over. She has to move on. I'm not right for her. But you knew that, didn't you, Weebo? You never wanted me to marry her. Well, you're right. I'm not right for her. You're the one for me, Weebo. Just the 2 of us. And Flubber makes 3.

[Brainard has just applied flubber to both a golf ball and a bowling ball and both began to quickly careen across the room]

Phillip Brainard: Hit the deck!

[Flubber returns home after causing chaos throughout the neighborhood and is intercepted by Brainard holding a baseball glove]

Phillip Brainard: WHOA! Weebo! I got it!

Weebo: Great. Now what are you gonna do with it?

Phillip Brainard: It has incredible inertia!

Weebo: Mm, maybe it's just glad to see you.

Phillip Brainard: Weebo?

Weebo: Yes?

Phillip Brainard: Do you know what this is?

Weebo: Flying... rubber?

Phillip Brainard: Yes! That's what it is! Flying rubber.

[holds his glove out for Weebo to see Flubber]

Phillip Brainard: IT'S FLUBBER!

[Flubber, in the glove, proceeds to smack Brainard off his feet and onto the ground]

[after Hoenicker's two goons destroyed Weebo, Brainard has arrived at Hoenicker's house under the pretense that he's ready to sell the formula; instead, Brainard is ready to unleash Flubber onto the unsuspecting bad guys]

Phillip Brainard: Do it for Weebo.

[Flubber growls]