Flash Gordon Quotes

Flash Gordon: This Ming is a psycho!

Ming's Floating Servant: This Ming is a psycho.

Klytus: Who said that?

Ming's Floating Servant: The fair-haired prisoner.

Klytus: Who are you?

Flash Gordon: Flash Gordon. Quarterback. New York Jets.

Dale Arden: Dale Arden, Your Highness. Live and let live, that's my motto.

Klytus: Bring me... the bore worms!

Princess Aura: No! Not the bore worms!

Princess Aura: Look! Water is leaking from her eyes.

The Emperor Ming: It's what they call tears, it's a sign of their weakness.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: We are only interested in friendship. Why do you attack us?

The Emperor Ming: Why not? Pathetic earthlings. Hurling your bodies out into the void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out here. If you had known anything about the true nature of the universe, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror.

Zogi, the High Priest: Do you - Ming the Merciless, Ruler of the Universe - take this Earthling, Dale Arden, to be your Empress of the Hour?

The Emperor Ming: Of the hour, yes.

Zogi, the High Priest: Do you promise to use her as you will?

The Emperor Ming: Certainly!

Zogi, the High Priest: Not to blast her into space?

[Ming glares at Zogi]

Zogi, the High Priest: Uhm, until such time as you grow weary of her?

The Emperor Ming: I do.

Dale Arden: I do NOT!

Princess Aura: But my father has never kept a vow in his life!

Dale Arden: I can't help that, Aura. Keeping our word is one of the things that make us... better than you.

Dale Arden: Ming's not unbeatable. With all his men, he couldn't even kill Flash.

Prince Vultan: [incredulous] Gordon's alive?

Prince Vultan: My thanks to you, Flash.

Flash Gordon: What for?

Prince Vultan: For giving an old bird a second chance!

Prince Barin: [to Flash] Welcome back from the grave.

[to Princess Aura]

Prince Barin: I knew you were up to something, though I'll confess I hadn't thought of necrophilia?

Dr. Hans Zarkov: What do you find? The moon out of orbit?

Munson: By more than 12 degrees. This must be some sort of mistake.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: No, it's no mistake... IT'S AN ATTACK! I've been right all these years!

[Munson refuses to go aboard Zarkov's rocket ship]

Dr. Hans Zarkov: I swear, Munson, I'll shoot!

Munson: Get shot or go up in that thing? What's the difference?

Dr. Hans Zarkov: This way, you'll be giving your life to save the Earth! Haven't you any spirit at all?

Munson: NO!

[Flash is in chains and with a helmet over his head]

Flash Gordon: I demand to see the governor! I can hardly breathe in this thing!

Klytus: Yes, you don't look well. I'm told you refused your final meal. The chef will be upset.

Flash Gordon: Tell 'em to go to hell!

Klytus: Maybe just as well. Gas works more quickly on an empty stomach. Any final requests?

Flash Gordon: Yes, let me see Dale. Right away.

Klytus: Oh, dear. How pathetic. Yes, I anticipated that.

Flash Gordon: This isn't happening, Dale. We're not here. It's just a bad dream.

Dale Arden: Oh, I agree completely. We'll wake up in any minute in Dock Harbor and have a laugh about this.

Flash Gordon: Only this time I won't just ask the maitre d' your name. I'll walk over and talk to you.

Dale Arden: You promise?

Flash Gordon: I promise. Cross my heart and hope to... I really will talk to you, Dale.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: Look at them! The poor wretches are just waiting for someone to lead them in revolt...!

Flash Gordon: [annoyed] Oh, are you looking at ME, Zarkov?

Flash Gordon: Where am I?

Princess Aura: Back from the dead. I've saved you.

Flash Gordon: My God! How?

Princess Aura: By magic, of course. With a kiss, because I like you.

The Emperor Ming: Every thousand years, I test each life system in the Universe. I visit it with mysteries, earthquakes, unpredicted eclipses, strange craters in the wilderness... If these are taken as natural, I judge that system ignorant and harmless - I spare it. But if the Hand of Ming is recognized in these events, I judge that system dangerous to us. I call upon the great god Dyzan, and for his greater glory...

[leans forward, smiling]

The Emperor Ming: ... and for our mutual pleasure...

[leans back again]

The Emperor Ming: ... I destroy it utterly.

Doctor Hans Zarkov: You're saying... it's my fault the Earth is being destroyed?

The Emperor Ming: [grinning] Precisely... Doctor!

Kala: We're going to empty your memory as we might empty your pockets... Doctor.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: Don't empty my mind! Please, I beg you! My mind is all I have! I've spent my whole life trying to fill it!

The Emperor Ming: Did you enjoy yourselves in Sibaria? I understand you flew the doctor there last week. Klytus kindly fed me the information.

Princess Aura: Klytus? He wants me himself. His agents are always making up lies about me.

Prince Vultan: [incredulous] What is this?

Dr. Hans Zarkov: [proud] Humanity.

Prince Vultan: Madness!

Dale Arden: [dreamily] Oh, Flash!

Hedonia: Drink this.

Dale Arden: What is it?

Hedonia: It has no name. Many brave men died to bring it here from the Galaxy of Pleasure. It will make your nights with Ming - more agreeable.

Dale Arden: Will it make me forget?

Hedonia: No, but it will make you not mind remembering.

Dale Arden: [takes a drink] Wow! This isn't bad at all.

[takes another drink]

Dale Arden: Mmm...

[drinks more]

Princess Aura: l'm a princess. My father will have your head for this. He'll execute your whole perverted secret police. l demand to see him!

Klytus: With pleasure.

[Ming appears]

Princess Aura: Father.

Klytus: The traitor is close to confession, Your Majesty. Should we stop the torture?

The Emperor Ming: No.

Princess Aura: Father! Damn you, Father!

Ming's Floating Servant: Long live Flash! You've saved your Earth. Have a nice day.

Flash Gordon: [leaps into the air] Yeah!

[first lines]

The Emperor Ming: Klytus, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?

Klytus: An obscure body in the S-K System, Your Majesty. The inhabitants refer to it as the planet... "Earth".

The Emperor Ming: How peaceful it looks.

[He activates a console, and watches as earthquakes, floods, etc. start to occur. They both get a good laugh out of it]

Klytus: Most effective, Your Majesty! Will you destroy this, er, Earth?

The Emperor Ming: Later. I like to play with thing a while... before annihilation.

[laughs evilly]

Princess Aura: [attempts to use her ring to open the door, it doesn't respond] They've changed the code!

Prince Barin: I've changed as well, Aura.

Princess Aura: And so have I.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: Oh, it's okay. I think I can work it out.

[starts to use Princess Aura's ring at different angles on the door]

Prince Barin: I love you. Will you marry me?

Princess Aura: I don't know; we'll try...

[breaks away as Barin moves in to kiss her]

Princess Aura: Not now, Barin...!

Prince Barin: You haven't changed at all...!

Princess Aura: If I'm not at the wedding, I'll be shot!

Dr. Hans Zarkov: [Finally manages to picks the electronic door lock with Aura's ring] A-ha! I thought it was one of the prime numbers of the Zenith series. *I* haven't changed.

Flash Gordon: The game's lost, Ming! Stop your attack on Earth and I'll spare your life!

The Emperor Ming: You pitiful fool! My life is not for any Earthling to give or take!

[Ming attempts to hold back Flash with the power of his ring. Flash approaches unaffected and menaces Ming with his sword. Ming cowers]

Flash Gordon: Your power is fading, Ming!

Flash Gordon: Biro's hit! I'm going in after him!

[flies off]

Prince Vultan: Grrrr! Impetuous boy!

Prince Vultan: Ah, well; who wants to live forever?

Prince Vultan: [laughs heartily, to the Hawkmen] DIVE!

[Flash is using football moves to fight Ming's soldiers]

The Emperor Ming: Klytus! What is he doing?

Klytus: I don't know, sir! It looks like some kind of barbaric sport!

[Hawkman Biro has been injured during the attack on war rocket Ajax]

Flash Gordon: Biro! You alright?

Biro: They just winged me!

Prince Vultan: [Flash is going to suicide ram Ming's palace, Vultan turns to Flash] That must be one hell of a planet you men come from!

Flash Gordon: Not too bad.

Colonel of Battle Control Room: General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.

Kala: What do you mean 'Flash Gordon approaching'?

Colonel of Battle Control Room: On a Hawkman rocket cycle. Shall I inform His Majesty?

Kala: Imbecile! The Emperor would shoot you for interrupting his wedding with this news! Fire when Gordon's in range!

[Flash is on a Hawkman rocket cycle and escapes]

Kala: He's escaping, idiot! Dispatch war rocket 'Ajax' to bring back his body!

Prince Vultan: Flash... when the ship hits the forcefield you'll be killed; this is suicide!

Flash Gordon: No Vultan... it's a rational transaction! One life for billions...

Princess Aura: Fly back to your kingdom. You may see me sooner than you think.

[kisses Barin]

Prince Barin: Lying bitch.

Prince Barin: Listen! There is something finer in this galaxy than Ming's law!

Prince Vultan: RUBBISH!

Prince Vultan: [War Rocket Ajax is under heavy laser fire from Mingo City. Cut to Int. Ajax Cockpit. Flash is at the controls. Vultan is just reaching a ladder to leave] Come on, Flash! Come on! It's time to bail out!

Flash Gordon: Sorry, Vultan! I'm not coming!

Prince Vultan: What?

Flash Gordon: The rocketcycle's gone!

Prince Vultan: So, come on! I'll carry you!

Flash Gordon: Bail out, Vultan, before it's too late!

Prince Vultan: Flash,

[runs back to Flash]

Prince Vultan: are you crazy?

Flash Gordon: The fire's too heavy!

[pause]

Flash Gordon: You know we'll never make that opening with nobody at the wheel!

Prince Vultan: Come on! You'll be blown to pieces, Flash! It's suicide!

Flash Gordon: No, a rational transaction! One life for billions!

Prince Vultan: [Vultan grabs Flash's shoulders and shouts] Come on! You'll be destroyed!

Flash Gordon: [shouts] You loony bird!

[Pushes Vultan away]

Flash Gordon: Get outta here! They need you on the ground!

Prince Vultan: [Vultan holds out his right hand] Well, good bye, Flash! It's been...!

Flash Gordon: [Flash shakes Vultan's hand] I know! For me too, Vultan!

Flash Gordon: [Vultan heads back to the ladder and starts climbing] Tell Dale

[pause]

Flash Gordon: I know it would've been good!

Prince Vultan: [shouts] That must be one hell of a planet you men come from!

Flash Gordon: Not too bad!

Luro: They were brave creatures Vultan.

Prince Vultan: SHUT UP!

Luro: With respect. The men who rid us of Klytus should not be deserted.

Prince Vultan: Will you shut up! So. Maybe I'd do it different. If I had it over again.

Luro: Then FIGHT!

Prince Vultan: But there's no way I could help a man who's dead!

Flash Gordon: My God!

Dale Arden: What is this, a civic reception?

Flash Gordon: More like a police state.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: If it is, that could be our good luck.

Flash Gordon: Why?

Dr. Hans Zarkov: It means we'll find allies on every side. Look at them, the poor wretches are just waiting for someone to lead them in revolt.

Flash Gordon: Are you looking at me, Zarkov?

Dr. Hans Zarkov: Yes.

Dale Arden: Please, stop talking about revolts, I just want to get back home alive.

Klytus: The tributes of the Hawkmen will be first.

Dale Arden: Are we dreaming?

Flash Gordon: I'd like to think so.

Prince Vultan: The fabled ice jewel of Frigia; we seized it in battle from the royal crypt.

Prince Barin: Stop! The ice jewel is our tribute, not Vultan's.

Prince Barin: Vultan stole it while we were burying our dead on Frigia

Prince Vultan: Liar!

Prince Barin: You are a thief!

Prince Vultan: What?

Prince Vultan: [Prince Barin draws his sword, preparing to attack Vultan]

[Vultan raises his clubbed sword]

Prince Vultan: Aargh!

Klytus: Put down your weapons! No one, but no one, dies in the palace without a command from the Emperor.

Prince Barin: Hail, Ming!

[Barin lowers his sword]

Prince Vultan: Aargh!

Klytus: Vultan! You obey, or you sacrifice your daughter.

[Vultan's daughter emerges, looks at her father]

Prince Vultan: [lowers his club sword relentingly] Hail, Ming.

Klytus: Now the tributes from Ardentia.

Prince Thun: Your Majesty, we, the people of Ardentia, we have suffered since you blasted our kingdom. I can offer you nothing this year, except my loyalty.

Klytus: Prince Thun, we prize nothing more highly. And tell us, how great is this loyalty to your emperor?

Prince Thun: Without measure.

The Emperor Ming: We are delighted to hear it; fall on your sword.

The Emperor Ming: Show us this loyalty, throw yourself onto your sword.

Prince Thun: [Prince Thun unsheathes his sword] May this deed of Prince Thun be an example to all the kingdoms of Mongo; death to Ming!

[Prince Thun is stopped by a freeze beam from Ming's servant]

Prince Thun: [Ming disembowels and slays Prince Thun with his own sword]

Dale Arden: Ugh!

Dale Arden: So that's why they let us escape; Klytus thought he'd wiped out your memory.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: But do you know why it really failed?

Dale Arden: I can't imagine.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: As I was going under, I started to recite Shakespeare, the Talmud, the formulas of Einstein, anything I could remember, even a song from the Beatles.

Dr. Hans Zarkov: It armored me, girl; they couldn't wipe those things away. You can't beat the human spirit!

[Ming and Dale see that Flash is still alive]

The Emperor Ming: Gordon!

Dale Arden: Flash?

Dale Arden: Boy, have I got some crazy stories to tell you!

Flash Gordon: Save 'em for our kids.

Dale Arden: Oh, I accept!

[from trailer]

The Emperor Ming: Pathetic Earthlings! Who can save you now?

Princess Aura: Don't kill him yet, Father. l want him. Give him to me.

The Emperor Ming: What would your Prince Barin say?

Princess Aura: l can handle Barin. Please...

The Emperor Ming: Really, Aura. Your appetites are too dangerous.

Princess Aura: Try again. Your left hand controls direction, right does the altitude. And use your fingers too this time.

[kiss]

Princess Aura: Gently, darling, it's *extremely* sensitive.

Princess Aura: Team up? What does that mean?

Flash Gordon: Maybe l'll show you sometime.

Princess Aura: Wonderful. You can do it when l take you to Cythera.

Flash Gordon: Where?

Princess Aura: lt's my secret pleasure moon. l have a little palace there - built - just for two.

[kiss]

Dale Arden: [telepathic conversation] l'm locked in Ming's bedroom.

Flash Gordon: Fake him out.

Dale Arden: How?

Flash Gordon: Girls know how, Dale. lt's been done to me. Fake him out.

Dale Arden: Wouldn't you like a sip?

Serving Girl: Oh, no, it's forbidden for us slaves.

Dale Arden: Oh, believe me, honey, that's quality stuff. Have some. Listen, we're all girls here, l won't tell. Just one sip. Live a little, huh?. Bottoms up.

Prince Barin: You are playing with fire, Aura.

Princess Aura: Of course I am.

[long kiss]

Prince Barin: [looking on from the side, to a guard] Does anyone ever trust her twice?

Klytus: Execute her?

The Emperor Ming: No. Too kind. Aura will be banished to Frigia on the day after my wedding. One year in a cavern of ice will cool her blood. And then, who knows? Perhaps we will marry her to someone worthy of her treacherous nature.

Prince Barin: Do you know where you are?

Flash Gordon: Up the creek.

Klytus: Princess Aura, under our persuasion, has implicated you on a charge of high treason. You're under arrest! A prison ship will be here shortly to take you away.

Prince Barin: You tortured Aura.

Klytus: lnteresting girl. l think she found it rather enjoyable.

Flash Gordon: What about Dale?

The Emperor Ming: Dale. We have decided to marry her. She's exceptional. We will breed with her and send our Imperial progeny back to populate your Earth.