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Fred: Did somebody order the rape?
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Judy: [Hank starts kissing her] Hank, come on.
Hank: What?
Judy: You know I made an abstinence pledge. I promised myself I would wait until I was sure I was with the right guy.
Hank: I thought I was the right guy.
Judy: You might be, I'm just not sure. But I like you a lot.
Blue Bally: [brief pause]
[Pops up from behind the couch]
Blue Bally: Hi sexually frustrated teenager, I'm Blue Bally! And if you and your girlfriend don't have sex soon, your going to wind up with a serious case of blue balls! That's right, your nuts are going to turn blue.
Hank: What do you mean?
Blue Bally: [Sits down on couch] See Hank, right now your testicles are filled with semen, and only a little bit's dripping out. That's called pre-cum. What you wanna do, is ejaculate, otherwise that backup of jizz will cause pressure in your nut sack to the point of making you nauseous.
Hank: So what do I do?
Blue Bally: Well, the way I see it, even if your girlfriend won't have intercourse with you, the least you should be able to get is a hand job.
Hank: Judi, I want you to know that I really do care about you, and I've known that since the first time I saw you in Bible Study class.
[She puts her hand on his crotch for a brief moment]
Blue Bally: Uh oh, that's not good.
Hank: What do you mean?
Blue Bally: With that kind of arousal, it's only a matter of seconds before full on irreversable blue balls! You better go to the bathroom and jerk off right now.
Hank: Here?
Blue Bally: Yes, go, there's no time to waste!
Hank: [after hank masterbates, he walks in on Judy and Blue Bally having sex] Blue Bally!
Blue Bally: Hope you like sloppy seconds!
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Drunk Girl: The point is, sluts need love too. And a whole lot of dick, am I right?
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Nancy: Penis? I haven't heard that word for a long time. I usually just call it dinner.
Extreme Movie Quotes
Extended Reading