Exit Wounds Quotes

[Orin is leaving the Anger Management class and sees some punks trying to pick the lock on his truck]

Orin Boyd: What am I, a shit magnet?

Linda, Anger Management Therapist: Mr. Boyd, denial is a classic symptom of unhealthy rage. Okay? So why don't you just stand up, and tell us a bit about yourself. Mr. Boyd. Mr. Boyd, please.

Orin Boyd: I'd like to make something very clear: I don't have rage. I'm a happy guy. You see this face? This is a happy face. You'll be lucky to be as happy as I am.

Trish: Hey, what are you doing?

Orin Boyd: I'm a cop, it's alright.

Trish: Since when do cops make things okay?

T.K. Johnson: Yeah, man! Since when do cops make... Man, that shit hurts.

George Clark: Did you really beat a suspect unconscious with a dead cat?

Orin Boyd: No.

George Clark: No?

Orin Boyd: The cat wasn't dead.

[Orin sneaks up on T.K. who is watching a drug deal go down]

Orin Boyd: Bird watching?

T.K. Johnson: Aw, no man. You know, just checking on my old lady. You know, keeping tabs on her.

Orin Boyd: Women. You can't trust 'em.

T.K. Johnson: Not as far as I can throw her ass... and she a big bitch.

T.K. Johnson: By the end of the night you just might...

[T.K. sees Orin enter]

T.K. Johnson: Fuck me!

Static Waitress: Dang! Now you talking.

[T. K. Johnson and Latrell Walker coming into a luxury-car dealership]

T.K. Johnson: Whoa! This is what I'm talking about, this is what I'm talking about.

Latrell Walker: [looks at the silver Bentley Arnage] Nice color.

T.K. Johnson: Yeah, if you're Puffy.

[Orin Boyd arrests Matt Montini, who sees his Dodge Ram with the front grill ripped off]

Matt Montini: Oh, I guess the grill was optional.

Frank Daniels: Look Orin. We're known each other a long time. On one hand I'm your friend, on the other I'm your boss. Now as your friend, you don't follow orders. You're unmanageable. Hell, you don't even obey the law, and you don't think before you act. And now as your boss, you're fired.

Orin Boyd: Just like that.

[Boyd throws the Vice President over a bridge]

Orin Boyd: I'm sorry sir. I got to do this.

Vice President: Shit! I can't swim.

Henry Wayne: Do you like big women?

T.K. Johnson: I love big women. Oh, if you want to feel the heat you got to have the meat.

T.K. Johnson: [to Orin] Say hello to my sumo Negro! He about to turn your ass into sashimi.

[cackles]

T.K. Johnson: [over the closing credits, in Wayne's TV show] You ever been with a big woman?

Henry Wayne: [smiles] Yeah, it was OK.

[first lines]

Vice President: Ladies and gentleman, it's a pleasure for me to be here on such a beautiful day, in the great city of Detroit. And I'd love to tell you all to sit back, relax, and enjoy yourselves. I'd love to, but unfortunately, I can't do that. There's a very serious issue that's spiraling out of control in this country. Illegal handguns ending up in the hands of our children. But instead of reading off a bunch of statistics that you might not already know that last year, more preschoolers died from guns that police officers, or that gunshot wounds are the second leading cause of death for all people in the U.S. ages ten to thirty four.

Chief Hinges: I'm not going to send you to Vietnam, Mr. Boyd. I'm going to send you the Fifteenth.

Orin Boyd: Oh, that shit hole.

Chief Hinges: You'll fit right in.

Linda, Anger Management Therapist: Mr. Boyd, I believe that you were sent to us because of work related stress, aggression towards authority figures, and an all-round lack of discipline.

Orin Boyd: I'm fine. You can move on. Other people want to say something.

Orin Boyd, Thug: Junior, having a tough time? Look, you got to get in and out quick. I'm an expert at this. I could do that in a blink of an eye.

Thug: Well why don't you show us?

Orin Boyd: Watch.

[clicks his keychain unlock button]

Orin Boyd: Just like that, see?

Thug: You a magician?

Orin Boyd: Yeah, you want me to show you how to pull a rabbit out of your ass?

Alan Morris: The cheapest car we have here is seventy five thousand dollars.

Latrell Walker: That it? It got a lot of head room. Get it. Head room.

T.K. Johnson: Yo! This is it.

Alan Morris: Unless you decide you'd like to live in this, I suggest that you...

Latrell Walker: I suggest you get started on the paperwork.

Orin Boyd: What do you think you're doing?

Lady In Car: I'm already in the intersection!

Orin Boyd: Next time you see a cop blow a whistle, pay attention.

Lady In Car: Blow this.

SWAT Team Member: This was taken a few minutes ago at the Police evidence locker.

SWAT Team Member: Whenever there's large quantities of narcotics, they keep it here at Piper Tech's main vault.

SWAT Team Member: Yeah, there were six guys. They wore masks and their voices were altered.

Orin Boyd: How much did they take?

SWAT Team Member: About fifty kilos of heroin.

Matt Montini: So what happened here?

Orin Boyd: Property vault was hit. Fifty kilos of heroin stolen.

Matt Montini: Shit, someone's having a big party tonight.

Orin Boyd: Good evening, Commander.

Annette Mulcahy: What are you doing here Boyd?

Orin Boyd: You said you wanted to see me.

Annette Mulcahy: In my office, not here.

Orin Boyd: Yeah, but I'm here now. So let's talk.

Mulcahy's Date: I'm sorry, but we were actually right in the middle.

Orin Boyd: Why don't you take a walk?

Orin Boyd: You used to work for Internal Affairs.

Annette Mulcahy: Yeah.

Orin Boyd: Out of all the people around you, how'd you know who you could trust?

Sgt. Lewis Strutt: Welcome to the inner sanctum, Mr. Walker. I always wanted to do that shit. I swear to God I wish I had a cat. Heard a lot about you.

Latrell Walker: Wish I could say the same.

Sgt. Lewis Strutt: Well, like the saying goes: "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convince the world he didn't exist." Let me show you around.

Latrell Walker: I don't get it. T-shirts?

Sgt. Lewis Strutt: It's amazing what you can do with the right chemicals these days. Your connections are all over the country, this is how we plan to help you get the heroin out of state. No risky exposure, no trail back to us. These t-shirts are dipped in a heroine solution, and dried under these lamps. They're folded and sealed in shrink-wrap. Dogs can't even smell it. You can send them anywhere you want. Extract the heroin later. You in?

Latrell Walker: Yeah, I'm in.

Latrell Walker: I made my father a promise before he died. I promised that I would always be my brother's keeper. I keep my promises.

Orin Boyd: Where'd you promise to meet these boys?

Latrell Walker: Frederick's Cleaners. After midnight.

Latrell Walker: I want to know why you're pressing me.

Matt Montini: Who's pressing you?

Latrell Walker: You got a cop on my ass. Same guy from the other night. He's like a fucking Neanderthal. He keeps popping up all over the place.

Matt Montini: He's not one of ours, alright. I'm gonna take care of him. But you, what the fuck were you thinking, showing up here? I should just shoot you, in case... Look, if I wanted to bust you, man, I would have brought you in a long time ago, you hear me? This is business. I just scraped together a shit load of product for our next deal. Forget it.

Latrell Walker: How much?

Matt Montini: Around five million.

Latrell Walker: Yeah, right.

Matt Montini: You wanted seven figures, that's what I brought you right? If not, then we do have a big problem.

Matt Montini: We'll call you when you're ready. You just have the money together.

Latrell Walker: Done.

Matt Montini: [to Latrell] You come with me.

[to T.K]

Matt Montini: Be back in an hour.

Orin Boyd: Strutt, Useldinger, Montini, they're all dirty.

Annette Mulcahy: Look, are you positive about this? What proof do you have?

Useldinger: Come on! There he is.

Matt Montini: Pop him. Pop him now!

Frank Daniels: Don't give me that look. I've been on the force way too long, Orin, laying my life on the line every day. And for what? A lousy forty thousand a year. Well the hell with that? And now you have single handedly screwed up my whole operation.

Sgt. Lewis Strutt: It's our operation.

Frank Daniels: Let's get one thing straight here. I run this show, not you, not him, none of you.

Sgt. Lewis Strutt: Prove it.

[pointing at Orin Boyd]

Sgt. Lewis Strutt: Kill him.

[last lines]

T.K. Johnson: Oprah, stay big, baby.

Henry Wayne: Oprah's great.

T.K. Johnson: Stay big.