Educating Rita Quotes

[Frank has just been officially reprimanded for being drunk while giving a lecture]

Dr. Frank Bryant: Sod them, eh, Rita! Sod them!

Rita: Will they sack you?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Good God no. That would involve making a decision. Pissed is all right. To get the sack, it would have to be rape on a grand scale. And not just with students, either. That would only amount to a slight misdemeanour. No, for dismissal it would have to be nothing less than buggering the Bursar.

[Rita discovers Frank packing all his books into crates]

Rita: Have they sacked you?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Not quite.

Rita: Oh... Why are you packing your books up?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Well, I made rather a night of it last night, so they're, uh... they're giving me a holiday. Two years in Australia.

Rita: Did you bugger the Bursar?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Metaphorically.

Collins: Doctor Bryant, I don't think you're listening to me.

Dr. Frank Bryant: Mr Collins, I don't think you're saying anything to me.

Collins: Doctor, are you drunk?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Drunk? Of course I'm drunk. You don't really expect me to teach this when I'm sober.

Collins: [angrily bundling his books together] Then you won't mind if I leave your tutorial.

Dr. Frank Bryant: Why should I mind?

[first words to Rita as she opens the door of her flat]

Trish: Wouldn't you just *die* without Mahler?

[Rita is being nosy about Frank's marriage]

Dr. Frank Bryant: We split up, Rita, because of poetry.

Rita: You what?

Dr. Frank Bryant: One day, my wife explained to me that, for the past fifteen years, my output as a poet had dealt entirely with the part of our lives in which we discovered each other.

Rita: Are you a poet?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Was. And so, to give me something new to write about, she left me. A very noble woman, my wife - she left me for the good of literature. And remarkably it worked.

Rita: What, you wrote a lot of good stuff, did ya?

Dr. Frank Bryant: No. I stopped writing altogether.

[Trish has just tried to kill herself; Rita goes to visit her in hospital]

Rita: Why?

Trish: Darling, why not?

Rita: Oh, Trish, don't. Come on, it's all right, don't cry. You're still here.

Trish: That's why I'm crying - it didn't work. It didn't bloody work.

Rita: Trish. Look, you didn't really mean to kill yourself. You were just...

Trish: Just what, darling? Poor Susan. You think you've got everything, don't you?

Rita: Trish, you have.

Trish: Oh yes. When I listen to poetry and music, then I can live. You see, darling, the rest of the time it's just me. And that's not enough.

Rita's Father: Say, Denny. Denny, I'm sorry for you, lad. If she was a wife of mine I'd drown her.

Rita: If I was a wife of yours I'd drown meself.

Denny: Fellows in our family only have to look at a woman and she's pregnant.

Rita: Oh, must be because you're all cockeyed.

[first lines]

[Frank walks on campus and addresses some students]

Dr. Frank Bryant: Good afternoon.

[last lines]

[Rita is saying goodbye to Frank at the airport departure gate]

Rita: Frank.

Dr. Frank Bryant: What?

Rita: Thanks.

Customer in Hairdressers: Was that a book you're reading?

Rita: Yeah, yeah.

Customer in Hairdressers: What's it called?

Rita: Oh, "Of Human Bondage".

Customer in Hairdressers: Yeah? My husband's got a lot of books like that.

Rita: What, Somerset Maugham books?

Customer in Hairdressers: Nooo. Bondage books!

Rita: You're a student, aren't you?

Student: Yes.

Rita: So am I.

Rita: I just... wanted to tell someone who'd understand.

Dr. Frank Bryant: Rita, I am honored that you chose me.

Brian: Yes, well, apparently you were a little... drunk at your tutorial today.

Dr. Frank Bryant: No.

Brian: No?

Dr. Frank Bryant: No. I was a lot drunk.

Brian: Oh, Frank, why do you do it? When you've got... well, what haven't you got?

Dr. Frank Bryant: A drink at the moment.

Dr. Frank Bryant: What does it say?

Rita: Right. I've passed. Now will you get on that bloody plane?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Let me see. You've passed with distinction. I'm proud of you, Rita.

Rita: I'm proud of both of us.

Rita's Father: How old are you now, Susan?

Rita: [sarcastically] Seventy-four, Dad.

Rita's Father: You're not, you're twenty-seven! Been married six years and you still haven't got a baby to show for it. Here's your sister, only two minutes married, and she's already four months pregnant.

Dr. Frank Bryant: You really can't bear to spend a moment with me now, can you?

Rita: Frank, that is not true. It's just that tonight, I've got to go to the theatre.

Dr. Frank Bryant: As I was saying, if you want to stop coming...

Rita: Oh, for Christ's sake, Frank, I don't want to stop comin'! I've got to keep comin'. What about me exam?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Oh, I shouldn't worry about that. You'd, uh, sail through it anyway. You really don't have to put in the odd appearance out of sentimentality. I'd rather you spared me that.

[he downs a glass of whiskey]

Rita: If you could stop pouring that junk down your throat, in the hope that it'll make you feel like a poet, you might be able to talk about things that matter, instead of where I do and don't work. And it might actually be worth turnin' up.

Rita: Do you think you did nothing for me? You think I just ended up with a load of quotes and empty phrases. Well, all right, I did. But that wasn't your doing. I was too hungry for it all. I didn't question anything. I wanted it all too much, so I wouldn't let it be questioned. Told you that I was stupid.

Dr. Frank Bryant: You're not stupid.

Rita: Listen, if I say I'm stupid, then I'm stupid, okay? So don't argue!