Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds Quotes

[Troy drops his robe, ready to model nude for art class]

Troy: [to Mr. Thompson] So, uh, w-where do you want me?

Tiffani: [almost to herself] On my face!

Neil: [to Troy, nervously] D-Right here on my desk and, uh, we'll get you in, um, several different positions.

Kyle: [almost to himself] Missionary, reverse-cowgirl, sixty-nine...

[while sketching Troy in class]

Tiffani: [drooling] I wanna hit that harder than Ike hit Tina.

Kyle: [ditto] I wanna be wrapped in his arms forever and ever.

Gwen Anderson: I wanna see him get it on with his boyfriend.

Kyle: You think he's gay?

Gwen Anderson: Does Whitney want crack?

Troy: Would you do me the biggest favor?

Kyle: Oh, of course I'd do you.

[Helen, coming upon her son Kyle kissing Tiffani in public, thinks her son's gone straight while Marc and Troy watch]

Helen: [joyfully, after smothering her son with kisses] You don't understand. I used to catch this boy masturbating with every vegetable in the frig, and now THIS!

Helen: [to Kyle] Have you told that awful ex-boyfriend of yours yet?

Kyle: [looking over to "awful ex-boyfriend" Marc] Mom, I-I have a feeling that he already knows.

Marc: I have a feeling this is the funniest thing he's ever seen.

Kyle: Well, I have a feeling that the childish things that he's doing are acts of jealousy; and, in some small way, it's kind of nice to know that he cares for a change.

Helen: Who gives a shit about him? I'm gonna be a grandma!

Gwen Anderson: Oh, don't even think you're breaking up with me. I'm breaking up with you.

Shane: Huh?

Gwen Anderson: I've sat in millions of bedrooms and listened to millions of boys tell me they're leaving me for the poll. I'm not gonna sit here and have one leave me for pussy.

Shane: What!

Gwen Anderson: I'm leaving you, Shane! Go NOT suck all the dick ya want!

Kyle: Hey, I'm a catch.

Gwen Anderson: Says who, your mom?

Jacob Buchanan: [softly] Octavio, introductions lead to conversations lead to invitations of intercourse with the wrong persuasion. I'll do the introducing.

Jacob Buchanan: [to Kyle and Troy] What the Hell do you want?

Violet Müfdaver: [hearing Kyle's description of Tiffani] Is Tiffany a rhinoceros?

Kyle: Size doesn't matter.

Tiffani: [keenly observant] You haven't fucked him yet.

Marc: Hey, I don't treat people like pieces of meat.

Tiffani: Well, you should. It's fun.

Kyle: This is war! Marc is gonna rue the day he ever messed with me!

Tiffani: Wow, you almost seem like a top!

Tiffani: Oh, hi, yummy. I'm Tiffani.

Octavio: The rhinoceros?

Marc: Gwen was my last girlfriend.

Gwen Anderson: And Marc was my first. After him, all I ever wanted to date were fags.