Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods Quotes

[English dub]

Goku: [looks at Whis] So that's him, huh? The mighty Beerus... he does look mighty important.

[Beerus steps out behind Whis]

Goku: Wait, that's Beerus? He looks like a big hairless house cat!

[English dub]

[Beerus hits Bulma]

Vegeta: How dare you... that's MY BULMA! You bastard!

[attacks Beerus]

Piccolo: So first, we need to find five Saiyans processing righteous hearts?

[scoffs]

Piccolo: Good luck. The only two of you who were close to right just a Gohan and Goten.

Bulma: Hey, don't say that! Sure if Vegeta can be a jerk sometimes. But, what about my Trunks? He's just a little boy.

Piccolo: Huh. Any boy that young, who already has a serious girlfriend did not have a righteous heart.

Bulma: Oh, shut up, you mean old crude! I bet you're kind of jealous of him.

[English dub]

Goku: [powers up] I will not let you destroy my world!

[English dub]

Gotenks: Yo, cat-man! Let's do this! An uninvited birthday guest with manners so bad he starts a fight over a pudding cup deserves to get Gotenks's fist rammed down his throat!

[gets spanked by Beerus]

Gotenks: [in tears] Just take the pudding!

[English dub]

Beerus: Look, I like your planet, or rather I've enjoyed myself enough to not despise it entirely. I'll give you one last chance to save yourselves. I nominate you!

[points at Oolong]

Beerus: Yes, I'm singling you out, Porky!

Oolong: Who, ME?

Beerus: [licks his lips] That's right, the one who looks so delicious...

Oolong: [freaked out] He wants my bacon...

Beerus: Come a little closer, won't you?

Oolong: I taste awful! I don't exercise, I eat nothing but junk!

Beerus: All you have to do is play a game of Paper Rock Scissors! If you win I'll leave your Earth intact, but of course if I win, I'll turn your Earth to dust!

Oolong: He's kidding, right?

Krillin: I guess it's a universal game.

Oolong: Don't make me, I suck at Paper Rock Scissors!

Puar: This is great! It's your big break, Oolong! You've never had a chance to be important before! But don't lose, because if we die it'll be all your fault!

Oolong: You're not helping, Puar!

Yamcha: Hey, wait a second... I figured it out! I know why he picked you as his opponent, Oolong, it makes sense! This guy thinks you're just an ordinary pig with ordinary pig hooves! And a pig hoof could only make Scissors, so he'd win every time with Rock! But you're not a pig, are you? You're a pig man! You've got fingers, you can throw all the signs! He's gonna draw Rock for sure, Oolong, I know it! All you have to do is draw Paper, and you'll win!

Oolong: [encouraged] Stupid cat alien, thinking he's got me pegged... I'll make him sorry!

Beerus: Are you ready, pig?

Oolong: You bet!

Beerus: On three...

Beerus, Oolong: One, two, three!

[Oolong draws Paper... and Beerus draws Scissors, which beats Paper]

Beerus: You fools, don't you see my ears? I heard your whole plan!

[English dub]

Goku: [to Vegeta] When Bulma got hit, you sure went crazy, huh? "My Bulma!" That was funny! She's quite the motivator for you, I was impressed!

Bulma: My hero!

Vegeta: [embarrassed] What, that's ridiculous, I don't remember saying that!... And it's hardly what matters! In that great moment, I surpassed you, Kakarot!

Videl: This time, let's do this party right!

Gohan: 1, 2, 3!

Videl, Gohan, Dende, Ox-King, Chi-Chi, Android 18, Chiaotzu, Mr. Satan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BULMA!

Oolong: 38 is crazy old!

Bulma: SHUT UP!

[English dub]

Krillin: [sees Vegeta dance] Okay, he's been drinking more than Gohan...

Pilaf: [hearing that Mai is laughing] What's so funny?

Mai: Prepared to be dazzled, my stars!

[holds up a Dragon Ball]

Mai: I used the diamond to distract the boy, while I ran out with this in my pocket! They don't have a clue the Four-Star Dragon Ball has gone missing and thanks to me!

[giggling]

Pilaf: Wow, you've really earned your keep this time!

Mai: Yes!

Pilaf: But, wait a second. We can't wish for money with just one Dragon Ball.

Mai: Oh, don't worry, I've got it all figured out. We'll demand a huge ransom from them! We'll say we won't return the ball, unless they give us one million Zeni cash!

Pilaf: Oh, yeah! That's great! Mai, you're a genuine evil genius, a real-deal rascal!

Mai: Nothing compared to you, Pilaf. You're even eviller!

[both laughing]

Shu: I'm pretty sure that diamond was worth more than a million zeni, couldn't we just have taken it and left?

[awkward pause, Pilaf's jaw drops]

Shu: ... or not?

Pilaf: Don't be stupid! Nobody wants to be THAT rich, it's way too stressful! It's about balance!

Mai: That's right! You'll be so stressed, you'll start wetting yourself all the time! And I'm not washing your pee-pee pants!

Pilaf: ...Okay, that just went to a weird place. I expect my evil henchmen to have a little class.

Mai: I'm sorry, my bad.

[as Goku and Beerus fight]

Master Roshi: So fast... you still following this, Krillin?

Krillin: Nope, totally lost!

[English dub]

Bulma: Oh, good! You're finally here, Vegeta! But, This is my birthday, not a Halloween party. So, why are you sitting around in your combat gear? What's wrong? You look even more sullen than usual. Mad that humans do this little thing called aging and your poor wife's another year older? Forget the powers. The best part of being a Saiyan must be never having to worry about losing your looks.

Vegeta: [waiting for Beerus and yells at Bulma] SHUT UP!

[All the Z-Fighters look shocked]

Bulma: It's my birthday, jerk.

[scoffs]

Vegeta: [Thinking] I can't shake this pit in my stomach. I am the great Prince Vegeta! I can't be scared, Can't I?

Bulma: What's up your butt?

[takes a drink of punch]

[English dub]

Bulma: What? Not coming? Why would he be training on King Kai's planet during my birthday party?

Piccolo: You really need to ask that?

Bulma: Seriously, I sent the guy who saved the date more than six months ago...

Gohan: Hey, where's Vegeta?

Bulma: Looks like he's off training too. I just about had it with you Saiyans...

[English dub]

Goku: Well, hello there. So, I'm Go - Uh, Sorry, I mean. My name is Sir Goku, sir. It is an honor for you to meet me.

Beerus: If you say so... Now, if that's out of the way, There's something I was hoping I ask you about. Uh, Let's see... Super Saiyan...

Whis: Super Saiyan God, I believe it was?

Beerus: Yes, yes. So, now what can you tell me about the existence of Super Saiyan God?

Goku: Super Saiyan God. Let me think. Well, I know all about just plain all Super Saiyans. But, this Super Saiyan God stuff isn't ring any bells, dude.

King Kai: Huh?

Goku: [exclaims] I know what all up it, good sir!

King Kai: I must admit that, this is the first time on myself of heard any mention of a Super Saiyan God.

Beerus: Oh, I see... Whis here tells me, You are the one who slayed that bastard Frieza?

Goku: Frieza? Uh, ye... Yep, that was me, all right. I beat him, sir.

Whis: That was certainly something.

Beerus: Indeed. I never figured Vegeta for poor song and dance man. Though he give you a run for your money.

Whis: Now, you're just being a hurtful.

[last lines]

Piccolo: When you're back into a corner, Goku. It's almost scary what you're capable of.

Vegeta: Listen to me, Kakarot. The next time, we need that kind of power. I'm the one who gets to be the God, are we clear?

Goku: Okay, that's only fair. But, I'll warn you that God power up gives one heck of a hang over.

[laughing, shocked]

Goku: Oh! Speaking of power-ups: When Bulma got hit, you sure went crazy, huh?

[mimicking Vegeta, yells]

Goku: "MY BULMA!" That was funny! She's quite the motivator for you, I was impress!

Bulma: My hero!

Vegeta: What? That's ridiculous! I don't remember saying that!... And it's hardly what matters!

[turns to Goku]

Vegeta: In that great moment, I surpassed you, Kakarot!

Goku: Yeah, you definitely did. I guess the next time, we're fighting someone that strong. We'll just have to get them and slap Bulma and then we be all good, right?

[Bulma and Vegeta are getting angry]

Bulma: That's really funny!

[slaps Goku in the face]

Piccolo: How'd you know about Vegeta's power-up? I thought you weren't here yet. You've already arrived by Instant Transmission. You were watching the fight, weren't you?

Goku: Uh, Maybe?

[laughing]

Bulma: Goku!

Oolong: [jumps on Goku, pulling his hair] You were watching us be his punching bags? What were you eating popcorn, too?

Goku: Sorry, okay? I was studying Beerus' moves! You know, I'm trying to come up to strategy to beat him! True, I didn't think of anything! But, is that the point?

Vegeta: Bulma, I believe Kakarot deserves some more of your signature slaps!

Bulma: He sure does!

Goku: Oh, come on! I'm sorry! I admit it was wrong, that counts for something -

[Bulma slapping him, Goku screaming in fear]

Bulma: All right, that's enough goofing around! I don't care for how many years you and my husband have know each other! Your selfish pudding cup fight has ruined my 38th birthday party!

Krillin: Oh! So, that's how old she is.

[Bulma began to slap Beerus, Vegeta shocked, and then Beerus slaps her back]

Vegeta: [shocked and began to rage] How dare you! That's my BULMA!

[transform into a Super Saiyan]

Vegeta: You bastard!

[began to fighting Beerus]

Whis: Lord Beerus, it's time. Time to wake up.

[Beerus' ears are heard]

Whis: And don't fall back asleep. Recall that it was you, yourself after all who set the alarm bomb to get off at this time. I hate to see you oversleep, and through one of your backup alarm will...

[the hourglass alarm bombs explosion two times]

Beerus: Fine, Whis. I'm up.

Whis: [sighs] I just don't want you sleeping in for 15 years too late, and waking up a groggy like the last time. But, if you requires some more coddling.

[cough and picks up the microphone]

Whis: I'm always happy to show off my vocal range with the singing performance trust you.

[the microphone feedback, Whis humming]

Beerus: [yells] I said "I'm up!" Oh, but it's so cozy.

[Beerus began to gets up, yawning and licking his arms]

Beerus: To count as truly restful slumber, I have to get at least 50 years. 39 is little more than a cat nap.

Whis: Lord Beerus, again it was you who chose this wake up time.

Beerus: [comes to Buu with pudding] You, there. Kindly hand over one of those pudding cups to Lord Beerus.

Whis: One for me too, please.

[Buu ignoring Beerus and Whis]

Beerus: I understand if you can't spare two, So I'll just take mine.

Whis: Beerus, that's hardly fair.

Beerus: [to Whis] You made it sound like you're already had one.

[to Buu]

Beerus: Give me the pudding.

Buu: No! Buu eat!

Beerus: What?

Buu: Pudding is all for Buu!

Beerus: You're being a rude guest!

Buu: All pudding cups for Buu's!

[licking the pudding cups, Beerus began to angry, growling at him]

Beerus: [grabs the pudding cups] Give me one of them now!

Buu: No!

[blows raspberry at Beerus]

Beerus: I want the pudding!

Buu: No, mine!

Beerus: Give me one, you dumb blob!

[Buu began to drinking all the pudding cups, slams down the plate. Beerus shocked]

Buu: You call Buu dumb? Now, Buu turn you into a candy and eat you!

Vegeta: [shocked at Beerus and Buu] Come on, I can't sit down for one second!

Beerus: [began to rage at Buu] You've made me MAD!

Whis: Oh, wait! You can't sleep yet! You haven't brushed your teeth.

Beerus: All right, all right. You really can't be a pest.

Krillin: Between you and me. Just how old are you today? Is it a big birthday?

Bulma: Like I tell you, never ask a woman that.

Android 18: Is it true that the prizes in the Bingo Tournament include a fully frontish castle and a private luxury jet?

Bulma: That's right. But if its too much trouble, I can get the winner cash instead.

Chi-Chi: One of the perks have being the richest person in the world. I hope that Goku will find time the drop in, at least for the Bingo Tournament.

Master Roshi: So, I don't suppose any of those prizes are dirty movies?

Bulma: No!

Chi-Chi: Gohan, I don't want you drinking any more punch today, you hear me?

Gohan: Yes, ma'am.

Trunks: Hey, Mai? I want to break...

Mai: Cram it, hostage.

Trunks: But, your chest is on my shoulders.

[Mai shocked]

Elder Kai: So you're sensing it too, Supreme Kai?

Supreme Kai: Yes. He's certainly waking early this time, isn't he?

Yamcha: [sees that one missing Dragon Ball, gasps] Hey, wait a minute!

[Puar, Master Roshi and Oolong gasps, turns to Yamcha]

Yamcha: I only count six Dragon Balls! Which means...

Chi-Chi, Android 18, Bulma, Gohan, Master Roshi, Oolong, Tien, Ox-King, Dende: The Four-Star Ball's gone!

Gohan: Bulma, we'd all like to wish you...

Goten, Trunks, Dr. Briefs, Mr. Satan, Dr. Briefs, Mrs. Briefs, Krillin, Tien, Yamcha: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Whis is trying to eat sushi]

Whis: This meal was absolutely mouthwatering! What do you call it? I must have the rest of it.

Sushi Chef: Oh, It's just a sushi plate.

Beerus: Oh, Seer! Seer, where are you?

[Seer appears to walking to him]

Seer: I was talking a walk. What is it?

Beerus: 39 years ago, did you not prophesize? But in 39 years time, an arch-rival worthy have may would appear.

Seer: Did I say that?

Beerus: Yes, that's what you said.

Dende: You guys, Videl is pregnant. Growing in her is Gohan and Videl's quarter Saiyan child.

Gohan: [gasps in excited, running to her] Are we really having a baby?

Videl: Well, we are! I wanted to surprise you with the pronounce is gonna time is anyway.

Gohan: I'm a daddy!

Mr. Satan: I'm a grandpa!