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Rudy Ray Moore: Dolemite is my name, and fuckin' up motherfuckers is my game!
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Lady Reed: [to Rudy Ray] I'm so grateful for what you did for me, cause I'd never seen nobody that looks like me up there on that big screen.
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Rudy Ray Moore: He looks like one of them Alfred Hitchcock mutherfuckers.
Nick: That's very kind of you.
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Rudy Ray Moore: [Speaking with the Bihari Brothers about them helping finance the production of "Dolemite" by giving up future royalties to his records] I'm going to bet on myself. Ain't nobody going to put me on the screen except for me, and everybody I talk to say they want to see a "Dolemite" movie.
Julius Bihari: Well, we understand. You're not supposed to make a movie for the five square blocks of people you know.
Rudy Ray Moore: [takes pause] Well... that's fine with me. 'Cause every city in America got those same five blocks. And those folks is going to love it!
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Rudy Ray Moore: You know what they say brother - luck is where opportunity meets preparation.
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Rudy Ray Moore: This microphone smells like ass!
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D'Urville: Is there any angle that you could shoot this, where it looks like he's actually kicking him?
Nick: There is no such angle.
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Rudy Ray Moore: Nigga, you got a whole lot of nerve ordering an extra side of greens at a time like this. Pay for these fucking greens yourself. In fact, you're gonna all start paying for your own shit, 'cause I ain't no fucking endless faucet of fucking money.
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Toney: I told him, let's go see Blackenstein.
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Walter Crane: I don't know how much longer we can do these pictures, Rudy. You see, that's why we changing our approach. We got a new one coming. I bet you gonna like this. You really gonna dig this one. Check this out. It's called Cornbread, Earl and Me. It's about a kid from the ghetto that's the first from the neighborhood to get out and make it to college. Now, don't that make you feel good on the inside, Rudy?
Rudy Ray Moore: Brother, don't nobody wanna see no shit like that.
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Rudy Ray Moore: I ain't lying, man, people love me. Hey, if you play this song, I guarantee motherfuckers'll start hopping and squirming. When I used to play this record live, motherfuckers would actually faint. They would faint on the floor.
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D'Urville: Well, I don't know if it was tender and I don't know if it was sexy, but it was funny as fuck.
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Rudy Ray Moore: It's comedy and it's sexy and it's action. It's a total entertainment experience!
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Bobby Vale: It's like Christmas, except your daddy ain't drunk and your momma ain't cryin'!
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Rudy Ray Moore: I ain't got a lot of good memories from back home, so I don't be thinking about back home much. Basically, when I think about back home, I think, "Fuck back home."
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D'Urville: I don't know how I got myself into this, but they say sometimes you got to go through hell to get to heaven.
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[to crowds outside the theatre where his film is showing]
Rudy Ray Moore: Hello, all you motherfuckers!
[gets cheers]
Rudy Ray Moore: Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to say it's a pleasure to have y'all come out here tonight, but I'm sorry to tell you, it's going to be a bit of a wait!
[gets groans]
Rudy Ray Moore: But don't worry. Don't nobody leave, because I promise you it's going to be worth it! Because like I always say: Dolemite is my name, and rapping and tapping is my game. Yes, I'm young and free, and just as bad as I wanna to be! Take a look at me! I'm a rare specimen of a man, don't you agree? I want you to live the life that you love and love the life that you live! From the frantic Atlantic, to the terrific Pacific, be the best of whatever you are. Shoot for the moon, and if you miss it, hang on to a motherfucking star!
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[after sitting through The Front Page, Rudy gets an idea]
Rudy Ray Moore: Well... I was thinkin'... this movie is playin' all across the country... and it's got no titties, no funny, and no Kung Fu. I was looking at that light. From the projector. It shoots across a theater and hits an 80-foot tall screen and then POW! Magic! You know how many mule miles I drove cross the country to get my name in people's mouths? But if I could get up in that light... if I could be in a movie of my own... I could be everywhere... Everywhere all at once.
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[D'Urville and the rest of the crew watch Rudy do his best attempt at a kung fu scene]
D'Urville: [incredulous] What planet is this cat on?
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[during filming of "Dolemite", writer Jerry Jones in character as government agent Blakely catches up to Dolemite holding Willie Green's intestines]
Jerry: [feigning disbelief] Goddamn, Dolemite!
[shoots Willie Green]
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Ben: When I go out, I always keep "The Morning After" in my hip pocket, in case there's some white faces.
Toney: What the hell is "The Morning After"?
Ben: Don't be ignorant. It's the love scene to "The Poseidon Adventure".
[sings but so only the friends can hear]
Ben: "There's got to be a morning after/If we can keep on holding through the night -- "
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[At the "Dolemite" premiere, Rudy sees a boy and his father waiting anxiously outside. In lieu of going inside right away, he turns and walks back to them]
Rudy Ray Moore: Hey, Little Man! You old enough to be out this late?
[the boy and his dad can't believe Dolemite is talking to them!]
Boy's Father: [proudly] Aw, he just can't stop talkin' about you! He's always doing your shit!
Boy: [excited] I love your rhymin', Rudy! It's so bad!
Rudy Ray Moore: [playful] I ain't bad! YOU Bad!
Boy: I do your rhymin', just like Dolemite! But then I make it about *me*!
[Laying down a beatbox beat, the boy begins to recite his own Dolemite rhymes]
Boy: [rapping] You heard about Dolemite and Shine and the Titanic / But there's a new kid around who's gonna be gigantic! / I live in the hood, but that can't hold me! / I'm gonna move to Beverly Hills, and don't you try to scold me!
[Rudy grins and joins. They start circling each other]
Rudy Ray Moore: [rapping] Hey boy, who do you think you are? / Don't you know you can't topple the world's greatest star?
Boy: Ha!
[rapping]
Boy: When it comes to rhymin', / I was through with it, / before you old chumps / ever knew what to do with it!
Rudy Ray Moore: Oh yeah?
[rapping]
Rudy Ray Moore: I chained down thunder and / handcuffed lightning! / I'm so damn strong it's sometimes fright'ning!
Boy: [rapping] I use an earthquake to make my milkshake!
Rudy Ray Moore: [startled] Hey, that's my line!
Boy: No more!
[rapping]
Boy: 'Cause Mighty Donald is my name...
Rudy Ray Moore, Boy: [rapping together] And fucking up motherfuckers is my game!
[Rudy and the kid break into laughter. Rudy is delighted. He winks at the boy and pats him on the back]
Rudy Ray Moore: [to the boy] Son, you got the gift! Don't let *no one* tell you you can't be whatever you want.
[to the dad]
Rudy Ray Moore: You done good.
Dolemite Is My Name Quotes
Extended Reading