Did You Hear About the Morgans? Quotes

Meryl Morgan: You could've been killed!

Paul Morgan: I am just deeply touched that, that would have bothered you.

U.S. Marshal Lasky: In the meantime, we'll put you in a temporary spot until we can find a more permanent spot.

Meryl Morgan: What do you mean by "permanent"?

U.S. Marshal Lasky: I don't mean permanent. I mean official site.

Meryl Morgan: Yeah, but you said "permanent". So if you don't catch this guy, then the official site becomes the permanent site?

Meryl Morgan: I'm sorry, I don't mean to drag our personal problems into this, but at this exact moment, I can't commit to spending the rest of my life with my husband.

U.S. Marshal King: I know exactly how you feel.

Meryl Morgan: Now that we're on the jet, can you tell us where we're going?

U.S. Marshal Henderson: Ray, Wyoming.

Paul Morgan: Is that anywhere near Phil, Wyoming?

Meryl Morgan: I've... never been to a Bargain Barn.

Clay Wheeler: Are you pulling my leg?

Paul Morgan: They don't have 'em in New York.

Clay Wheeler: What's that got to do with anything?

Meryl Morgan: Well, that... that's... why I've never been to one.

Clay Wheeler: I'm still not following you.

Meryl Morgan: They don't... have... Bargain Barns in New York, so that's why I've never been to one.

Paul Morgan: We've also never been to one in Chicago, which is where we're from.

Clay Wheeler: Ah, I see.

Meryl Morgan: Actually, I'm a member of PETA. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Emma Wheeler: So am I. Except mine's People for Eating Tasty Animals.

Emma Wheeler: Here you go. Sunny-side eggs, sausage with bacon, home fries, homemade biscuits and country gravy. Can I get you anything else?

Paul Morgan: No, thanks. Just an angiogram.

Meryl Morgan: I thought Disneyland was the friendliest place on Earth.

Paul Morgan: No, no, no. Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth. Ray is the friendliest place. People probably get them confused all the time.

Earl Granger: You're not getting smart with me, are you, tea-drinker?

Paul Morgan: You know what I did to the last man who called me that? I stole his crumpet.

Meryl Morgan: Can you please stop being so agreeable, please?

Paul Morgan: Whatever you say.

Meryl Morgan: Oh my god! I'm out of bullets!

Paul Morgan: Something I never expected to hear you say!

[about Meryl and Paul arguing]

Clay Wheeler: These two are worse than Vito the Butcher.

[first lines]

Meryl Morgan: [on the answering machine] Hi, you've reached Meryl Morgan, I can't take your call right now, so leave a message and have a great day. Thanks!

Paul Morgan: Uh, hello, it is me, your uh... your husband, um... at least legally uh... still your husband, as recognized by the state of New York, and uh... in the end, who would argue with the governor? I uh... I wanted to call and just say hello, as it is approaching the three-month anniversary of our being separated, and I thought perhaps it might be nice to get together as, you know, occasions like this only come round once in a lifetime. And uh... oh yes, and I saw the cover of New York Magazine's real estate issue, and... and there you were. And you looked... lovely, frankly... You are staring out from every newsstand, and bus, and taxi, um... and it is... "it is genuinely incredible how you have built your business into the premier boutique real estate firm in the city," I'm... I'm quoting here from the article. I have five copies. This way, if we ever get back together and lose yours, we're covered...

Meryl Morgan: [on the answering machine] Hi, you've reached Meryl Morgan, I can't take your call right now, so leave a message and have a great day. Thanks!

Paul Morgan: Anyway, the point is... the point is that I am sad, and I miss you. And I... bitterly regret... what I did... and... it would be very, very nice if you... called or... or, in fact, if we could see each other. I... I hope you're getting the gifts. I know they're not all perfect... um... The ice sculpture, I can see, it was a disaster... I... I did specify they shouldn't leave it if you weren't home, and I... I will be suing. Talking of which, I must get back to work... um... I'm actually in court, I have a man he...

Clay Wheeler: [as they drive through tiny Ray, Wyoming] Here's Ray... that was it.

Paul Morgan: Could you do it again? I think I missed it.

Meryl Morgan: Well, if that's Ray where are we going?

Emma Wheeler: Oh, a few miles outside of town. We like to get away from the hustle and bustle.