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Al Roberts: So when this drunk handed me a ten spot after a request, I couldn't get very excited. What was it I asked myself? A piece of paper crawling with germs. Couldn't buy anything I wanted.
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Al Roberts: That's life. Whichever way you turn, Fate sticks out a foot to trip you.
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Al Roberts: Yes. Fate, or some mysterious force, can put the finger on you or me for no good reason at all.
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Al Roberts: [voiceover] It wasn't much of a club, really. You know the kind. A joint where you could have a sandwich and a few drinks and run interference for your girl on the dance floor.
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Charles Haskell Jr.: I was tussling with the most dangerous animal in the world - a woman.
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Al Roberts: [as narrator after thumbing a ride] I guess at least an hour passed before I noticed those deep scratches on his right hand. They were wicked, three puffy red lines about a quarter inch apart. He must have seen me looking at them because he said...
Charles Haskell Jr.: Beauties, arent they? They're gonna be scars someday. What an animal!
Al Roberts: Whatever it was, it must have been pretty big and vicious to have done that!
Charles Haskell Jr.: Right on both counts, New York! I was tussling with the most dangerous animal in the world - a woman!
Al Roberts: She must've been Tarzan's mate! Looks like you lost the bout!
Charles Haskell Jr.: Certainly wasn't a draw! You know, there oughta be a law against dames with claws!
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Al Roberts: [as narrator] What kind of dames thumb rides? Sunday school teachers?
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Al Roberts: [as narrator] Until then I had done things my way, but from then on something stepped in and shunted me off to a different destination than the one I'd picked for myself.
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Al Roberts: [as narrator] As I drove off, it was still raining and the drops streaked down the windshield like tears.
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Vera: Life's like a ball game. You gotta take a swing at whatever comes along before you find it's the ninth inning.
Al Roberts: You read that somewhere...
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Al Roberts: Oh, sure, Phoenix. You look just like a Phoenix girl.
Vera: Are the girls in Phoenix that bad?
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Vera: I'm gonna see that you sell this car so you don't get caught.
Al Roberts: Thanks. Of course, your interest wouldn't be financial, would it? You wouldn't want a small percentage of the profits?
Vera: Well, now that you insist, how can I refuse? 100% will do.
Al Roberts: Fine. I'm relieved. I thought for a moment you were gonna take it all.
Vera: I don't wanna be a hog.
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Al Roberts: How far you goin'?
Vera: How far YOU goin'?
Al Roberts: [as narrator] That took me by surprise, and I turned around to look at her. She was facing straight ahead, so I couldn't see her eyes. She was young - not more than 24. Man, she looked like she had been thrown off the crummiest freight train in the world! Yet in spite of that, I got the impression of beauty, not the beauty of a movie actress, mind you, or the beauty you dream about with your wife, but a natural beauty, a beauty that's almost homely, because it's so real. And suddenly she turned to face me...
Vera: How far did ya say you were goin'?
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Al Roberts: Vera was just as rotten in the morning as she'd been the night before.
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Vera: We're outta liquor, Roberts!
Al Roberts: Yeah!
Vera: Too bad! I wanted to get tight tonight!
Al Roberts: Well, I think you succeeded!
Vera: Am I tight?
Al Roberts: As a prima donna's corset!
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Vera: Say, who do you think you're talking to - a hick? Listen mister, I been around, and I know a wrong guy when I see one. What'd you do, kiss him with a wrench?
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Al Roberts: He was a piece of cheese, the big blowhard.
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Al Roberts: He got his for being greedy. He wasn't satisfied, so the final windup was he took the count. A couple of day ago you didn't have a dime. Why, you were so broke, you couldn't pay cash for a postage stamp.
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Vera: You're no gentleman, see?
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Al Roberts: Money. You know what that is, the stuff you never have enough of. Little green things with George Washington's picture that men slave for, commit crimes for, die for. It's the stuff that has caused more trouble in the world than anything else we ever invented, simply because there's too little of it.
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Al Roberts: Ever done any hitchhiking? It's not much fun, believe me. Oh yeah, I know all about how it's an education, and how you get to meet a lot of people, and all that. But me, from now on I'll take my education in college, or in PS-62, or I'll send $1.98 in stamps for ten easy lessons.
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Vera: If you act wise, well, mister, you'll pop into jail so fast it'll give you the bends!
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Vera: I'd hate to see a fellow as young as you wind up sniffin' that perfume Arizona hands out free to murderers!
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Vera: Do I rate a whistle?
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Vera: Shut up, yer makin' noises like a husband.
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Vera: Boy oh boy! Sure feels good to be clean again!
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Al Roberts: The world is full of skeptics.
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Al Roberts: I was dead tired.
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Vera: You know how to work it?
Al Roberts: I invented it.
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Vera: I'm tired of this game. Let's have some blackjack.
Al Roberts: Play solitaire!
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Al Roberts: I was in Bakersfield before I read that Vera's body was discovered. That the police were looking for a Haskell in connection with his wife's murder. Isn't that a laugh? Haskell got me into this mess, and Haskell was getting me out of it. The police were searching for a dead man.
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[last lines]
Al Roberts: I keep trying to forget what happened, and wonder what my life might have been if that car of Haskell's hadn't stopped. But one thing I don't have to wonder about, I know. Someday a car will stop to pick me up that I never thumbed. Yes. Fate, or some mysterious force, can put the finger on you or me for no good reason at all.
Detour Quotes
Extended Reading
