Death at a Funeral Quotes

  • Aaron: Let me get this straight: our father was romantically involved with a guy that could fit in his pocket, and you're mad because he's white?

  • Norman: You still smokin' that stuff?

    Derek: No no no, I'm gonna stop, all right? *You* used to smoke, we used to smoke *together*.

    Norman: I used to piss my pants and then I stopped!

  • Cynthia: [to her childless daughter in law] You can't understand death until you've given life.

  • Ryan: Look at Martina, man the girl's all grown up.

    Aaron: You mean little Martina? She's like in the 12th grade.

    Ryan: Well she may be in 12th grade, but that ass is in grad school.

  • Uncle Russell: Hey, let me tell you something about women. Smarter than you think they are, but not nearly as smart as *they* think they are.

  • Jeff: He got in a fight with the table, and the table won.

  • Elaine: You're going to be a father.

    Oscar: I'm pregnant?

    Elaine: No. I'm pregnant.

    Oscar: You're pregnant too?

  • [Repeated line]

    Ryan: [to Aaron] I'm Grievin'.

  • Uncle Russell: [upon seeing the photo of Frank with Aaron's and Ryan's father] I always thought he had a little sugar in his tank.

  • [last lines]

    Uncle Russell: [on the roof, naked and high] Everything's so fucking green.