Das Boot Quotes

[the Captain and Lieutenant Werner escort Thomsen out of the men's room]

Capt. Lt. Philipp Thomsen: I... really wanted to screw my brains out. But now, I am in no condition to fuck!

Captain: It's alright!

Capt. Lt. Philipp Thomsen: Sieg Heil!

Captain: Okay, men, now listen. We're going to blow out the water now and see if we can get our rear ends out of the sand. If we make it to the surface, things could still get pretty rough. Traffic's heavy up there. And we have to pray the engines start, so we can get out of this mess. The condition the boat is in, we have got to head straight for La Rochelle. If we make it... it's half a bottle of beer for each! There is one thing on our side; they won't be expecting us. Well men, all set?

The Crew: [in unison] Jawohl, Herr Kaleun!

Heinrich: Noooo! Second contact closing fast, bearing 076!

Captain: Damn them! Another one!

Captain: Phillip, the old bunch is gone. Look at these new heroes. All wind and smoke. Just big mouths.

Thomsen: Yeah, yeah. They keep together, balls in hand. And the belief in our Führer in their eyes.

Captain: They will know in time.

Captain: Not bad in here, is it? No mail, no telephone. Solid wood paneling. Well-ventilated boat. Free food, too. "Rolling in clover" we are.

Der Leitende: ...Like fresh horse-droppings. They're "Rolling in clover" as well. They have no need to make a living. They're even allowed to smoke.

Pilgrim: Hey, have you got any hairs up your nose?

Frenssen: Why?

Pilgrim: I've got some up my ass. Maybe we can tie them together?

Lt. Werner: Captain?

Captain: I'm sorry.

Lt. Werner: You think it's hopeless now?

Captain: It's been 15 hours. He'll never do it. I'm sorry.

Lt. Werner: They made us all train for this day. "To be fearless and proud and alone. To need no one, just sacrifice. All for the Fatherland." Oh God, all just empty words. It's not the way they said it was, is it? I just want someone to be with. The only thing I feel is afraid.

Captain of the 'Weser': So, what's it like down there, in a submarine?

Der Leitende: It's... quiet.

Captain of the 'Weser': Quiet? Hmm.

[Werner takes pictures of the watch officers on the conning tower]

Captain: Take pictures of the crew returning, not putting out to sea.

Lt. Werner: Why?

Captain: They'll have grown beards by then. It would shame the Tommies to see mere boys give them Hell. Baby faces. Ones that should still suck mama's breast.

[pause]

Captain: I feel ancient around these kids, like I'm on some Children's Crusade.

[U-96 puts to sea among cheering crowds. Thomsen pulls up in his car]

Capt. Lt. Philipp Thomsen: Hail and victory and sink 'em all!

Bockstiegel: That'll burn fuel, huh?

Der Leitende: Asshole.

[Heinrich and two other crewmen carry Kriechbaum to the conning tower ladder]

Kriechbaum: Thank you, Heinrich.

Heinrich: Don't mention it. Look, the sun's still shining.

[shouting]

Heinrich: Lift him!

[the Chief Bosun and Werner enter the petty officer's quarters]

Pilgrim: Morning, Lieutenant.

Chief Bosun: So, the petty officers sleep here. Twelve men. When one's on duty, the other sleeps in his stink.

[Pilgrim and Frenssen laugh]

Chief Bosun: Yeah. And here is your bunk. Just for you. Our guest.

Pilgrim: [gives Werner his pouncho] Here you go, Lieutenant.

Frenssen: [throws Werner an oxygen mask] Oh, this is your oxygen mask. Very important.

Pilgrim: Not much good except for calm seas.

Frenssen: It does come in handy when the diesel reaks.

[Chief Bosun and Pilgrim laugh]

Pilgrim: Or when Frenssen farts!

[Chief Bosun, Pilgrim, and Frenssen laugh harder while Werner has discomfort all over his face]

[Chief Bosun enters the torpedo room, which has been dressed up as a red light room]

Chief Bosun: QUIET IN THIS WHOREHOUSE!

[the crew falls silent]

Chief Bosun: Bad news, men.

Ario: What's wrong?

Chief Bosun: [pause] Schalke lost the game. 5-0. No more chance of making the semi-finals.

[exits]

Ario: [throws a can at the bulkhead] I can't believe this shit!

[the officers of U-96 enter the Weser's main cabin. The 1WO is the only one with his full dress uniform on]

Captain of the 'Weser': [to 1WO] Welcome aboard the Weser, Herr Kapitänleutnant.

[2WO stifles a laugh]

1st Lieutenant: No, not me. This is the Captain.

Captain of the 'Weser': [to the Captain] Ah. My apologies.

Johann: Captain, I wish to apologize.

Captain: You can't just apologize, Johann. You left your battle station at a critical moment. Also, you disobeyed my command.

Johann: Will I be court-martialed?

Captain: How many patrols have you done?

Johann: It's my ninth.

Captain: Why you?

Johann: It was a mistake. I didn't... It was... It... All of a sudden... As if... It won't ever happen again, sir. You can depend on it. I swear.

Captain: It's all right, Johann.

Johann: No court-martial?

Captain: [nods] Get some sleep.

[Johann exits. The Captain adds "Decision, return to La Rochelle" to the log book]

Captain: [over PA] Now hear this. We're in pursuit of a convoy being tracked by U-32. Expect contact at 1800 hours. That is all.

[the crew cheers]

Schwalle: We'll finally be able to get rid of these beauties! They're all ready for blast-off!

[last lines]

[La Rochelle is under attack. Werner and the crew take refuge in the U-boat bunker; several of the men are injured]

1st Lieutenant: Come over here! We need help!

Schwalle: Medic! Medic!

Lt. Werner: What's going on? Why are we diving?

2nd Lieutenant: Hydrophone check. At sea, even in a storm you can hear more down here than you can see up there.

[U-96 is heading towards a nearby convoy contact]

Captain: [to Werner] More than 30 freighters! Berthold better not attack now. It's best to stay close and wait until the other boats arrive. For me, there is nothing finer than a submarine... and sailboats. There are no lines more beautiful than that of a sailboat. I sailed on a three-masted schooner once. Wonderful ship. Roomy. It had holds as big as churches!

[the Captain and Werner laugh]

[the sounds of torpedoes detonating and sinking ships has subsided]

Captain: Now it's their turn.

[during the storm, a wave hits the conning tower and Kriechbaum notices that Pilgrim is missing]

Kriechbaum: [looking aft] Man overboard!

Pilgrim: [screaming while he holds on to railing by the flak gun]

Kriechbaum: Pilgrim!

[gets to Pilgrim, then carries him back down into the boat]

Captain: I'm sorry.

Lt. Werner: Is it hopeless?

Captain: It's been 15 hours. He's not going to pull it off. I'm sorry.

Lt. Werner: I asked for it. 'To be heading into the inexorable... where no mother will care for us... no woman crosses our path... where only reality reigns... with cruelty and grandeur.' I was drunk with those words. Well, this is reality.

Ario: [the engines have restarted] They're... they're running. I think they're running!

Der Leitende: Who says you can't make something out of nothing?

[the LI laughs a nervous, giddy, girly giggle]

[Johann climbs up to the bridge, places himself between Kriechbaum and Lt. Werner. Sniffs the air]

Lt. Werner: It's good for you, fresh air, right Johann?

Johann: [Spits] Nah.

[Johann climbs back down in the ship]

Kriechbaum: They're strange, these engine-room people.

[the crew has finished resupplying, so fresh food is everywhere]

Kriechbaum: Hey! Move this stuff now! Clear the map! I can't navigate on bananas!

2nd Lieutenant: First time on U-boat?

Lt. Werner: Yeah. First time. It's gonna be exciting.

2nd Lieutenant: Do you have a will?

Lt. Werner: Excuse Me?

2nd Lieutenant: 13 boats down last moth. Sank with men and mice. Exciting, huh?

Captain: Do you have a sense of romantic?

Lt. Werner: Excuse me?

Captain: There, the empty house next to the warehouse, is that for you?

Lt. Werner: Not that I would know, isn't that area out of bounds?

Captain: Oh yes.

Captain: [Captain looks at the birds overhead] Damn beasts!

[Discovers the watchman's yawning]

Captain: Nay Nay Nay

The Crew: Excuse me, Captain.

Captain: If you can't handle it, don't do it.

[pause]

Captain: Were you part of it? Fireboat drill?

The Crew: [hesitate] Yes, captain.

Captain: [Smile] At least you can aim.

Ullman: We'll have Christmas in ltaly.

Ario: We've got to get there first!

Ullman: So?

Ario: Gibraltar! Use your brain, you idiot! That strait... It's like the eye of a needle. We'll never slip through there.

[first lines]

Captain: Out boatswain's mate. Been on quite a bender tonight.

Captain: You left your battle station at a critical time. Also, you disobeyed my order.

Johann: Will l be court-martialed?

Captain: How many war patrols for you?

Johann: It's my ninth.

Captain: You, of all people, Johann.