Damsels in Distress Quotes

Violet: Hello! Are you a new student?

Lily: Yes.

Violet: Good, we thought so. We'd like to help you.

Violet: [From Trailer] Our aspirations are pretty basic - take a guy who hasn't realized his full potential - or doesn't even have much...

Heather: Someone like Frank!

Violet: Yes. Then help them realize it or find more.

Depressed Debbie: [Angry] You think I'm going to kill myself and make you look bad?

Violet: I'm worried that you'll kill yourself and make yourself look bad.

Heather: [to Lily] Speaking of suicide prevention, do you have a boyfriend, Lily?

Rose: Are you dating anyone?

Lily: I don't see the connection.

Heather: You don't?

Violet: Boyfriends are a primary suicide risk.

Violet: What would you say are the most effective means to fight depression?

Thor: Beer?

Frank: No, beer's a downer! Cocktails! Hard liqueur and spirits is what really gives you a lift.

Priss: [Crying] He used to gaze at me with such love in his eyes. Know what I mean?

Violet: No. No, I've never actually seen that.

Violet: [about Priss' ex-boyfriend] Was Josh handsome?

Priss: [crying] Yes

Violet: That's a problem.

Heather: [about seventh-grade Violet] But you were nice to her?

Rose: No, not really. The idea of being nice to weird and unpopular kids hadn't arrived yet.

Violet: I took the commuter train to Villa Franka and I checked into a cheap motel there.

Rose: The Motel Six?

Violet: No, the Motel 4. It's even less expensive.

Rose: The Motel 4, in Villa Franka? My god, you really were suicidal.

Heather: Could Frank be dyslexic?

Rose: No, dyslexics are intelligent.

Lily: [about Charlie] I would hate to think what would happen if one of you guys got her claws into him.

Rose: That's outrageous! We're perfectly nice! We've met lots of pathetic guys, and nothing very bad happened.

Fred Packenstacker: I wasn't just buying drinks for people; they were for cute girls. There was a perfectly rational, logical, easily-explainable agenda.

Violet: [Smiling slightly] So it *was* a playboy or operator move.

Fred Packenstacker: Of course. Transparently so.

Violet: I admire that. Drinks are expensive.

Lily: Oh my god! How crazy! He's completely insane. I almost dated him!

Heather: You can say that about a lot of guys.

Violet: Are you...

[whispers]

Violet: ... gay?

Fred Packenstacker: Not especially. But in another era it might have had some appeal.

Thor: [about a beanbag] What colour would you say that chair is?

Frank: That's a chair? I had no idea!

Mad Madge: [Violet is practicing her tap routine] What do you think you're doing?

Violet: I'm sorry, did I disturb you?

Mad Madge: Why are you wearing tap shoes? Are you out of your mind?

Violet: I think that's pretty clear...

Lily: There's no logic to the algebra of love.

Fred Packenstacker: The algebra of love? That sounds like the title of some lame book.

Lily: It's a title but the book's not lame at all.

Fred Packenstacker: Love's algebra? I always thought it was more geometry.

Lily: Okay, the title's not good but the book is.

Fred Packenstacker: What's it say?

Lily: Well, that while we're all perverse in our romantic preferences, there's actually this logic, or algebra to our perversity. And it has something to do with how the species has evolved.

Fred Packenstacker: The survival of the species?

Lily: Yes, and whether it will continue to do so.

Fred Packenstacker: Normally I'd be reluctant to comment on anyone's religion but...

Xavier: What?

Fred Packenstacker: I'm sorry, I guess I'm a bit a of bigot, but I could never take seriously a religion that worships on Tuesdays. All the major religions require worship on the weekend - Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I find it just really laudatory that people should sacrifice their weekend to worship god.

Xavier: Having the sabbath Tuesday always seemed very bizarre to me.

Frank: If my eyes are so blue; looking out, wouldn't everything be blue? Or have a blue tinge to it?

[Closes his eyes then opens them again]

Frank: See it doesn't look blue, it just looks normal.

Rose: Call the cops, a suicide might be in progress!

Heather: You mean the *campus* cops?

Freak Astaire: The show is for everyone.

Depressed Debbie: [Protesting] No, it's NOT! It's for the clinically depressed!

Rose: [about Roberts Hall] Suicidal Ed. students have been going to the roof and throwing themselves off.

Violet: But it's only two stories.

Rose: Yes I know, it's horrible. Not high enough enough to kill, but high enough to maim. And particularly dangerous for the people below.

Thor: [Looking out on the rainy day] Would you say today is *very* gray?

Jimbo: More like blue-gray

Thor: [to himself] Damn!

Violet: Rose has a very sensitive nose. Have you heard of "nasal shock syndrome?" Any harsh, acrid, or just "disgusting" odor sends Rose into nasal shock

Rose: This wasn't true nasal shock. Had it been, I'd've lost consciousness entirely.

Lily: Just from some b.o.?

Violet: "Just some b.o .?" Omigod, Lily, you must have a very high threshold for pain! That'll serve you well here at Seven Oaks!

Heather: [about Lily's friend] " Zavier " with a " Z? "

Lily: No, I think it's with an "X."

Heather: No, I'm certain it's a "Z." " Zavier " Like " Zorro. " It's the same sound.

[Draws a "Z" in the air with her finger]

Heather: Zorro marked his name with a "Z."

Lily: It's an "X."

Heather: But Zorro's with a "Z." I t's the same.

Violet: Okay, let's see if we can figure this out. Used at the beginning of a name, " Z " and "X" have the same pronunciation.

Heather: But it's Zorro- with a "Z."

Violet: Actually there were two " Zorros. " One spelt his name with a " Z " and made a " Z " mark for Zorro , the other one spelled him name with an "X" and with his sword he'd make an "X" mark . What was really unfair was that, because he marked his name with an "X", everybody assumed he was illiterate, when actually he was spelling correctly

Violet: We get a lot of students coming to the center pretending to be depressed to get the donuts.

Rose: Confidence tricksters!

Violet: Yes, it's really bad, really cynical. And we made a pledge the donut company that we would only give the donuts to students who were depressed, suicidal or otherwise nutty. We're a non-profit, so the rules are pretty strict.

Violet: I'm not convinced that having a "Suicide Prevention Center" prevents any suicides.

Rose: Well, the coffee's good.

Lily: If someone were really determined to destroy themselves, I don't think they'd stop for coffee.

Heather: I suppose it depends on what it tastes like.

Heather: I'm really worried about Thor... It's hard for us to imagine how upsetting it is not knowing what the colors are.

Rose: In fact it's impossible for me to imagine.

Heather: When Thor sees a rainbow - it's only so much gibberish to him. There was one this afternoon: Oh my gosh! He took it hard. Recently there was a parade in the city where the marchers carried rainbow- colored flags and banners. Thor was so upset: he said he'd no idea what it meant

Heather: Doar dorm has the university's highest fatality rate as well as the worst hygiene.

Lily: Highest suicide rate.

Violet: No, the highest fatality rate. It's not certain what percentage were intentional and how many were just due to a temporary unawareness of gravity's laws.

Violet: We've gotta keep in mind that these guys are young people. They're essentially immature and... crying out for help and guidance.

Rose: Though they don't know it.

Heather: No, they don't, but we do.

Lily: Um, but aren't they the same age as we are?

Rose: Only numerically.

Violet: What scent are you wearing?

Depressed Debbie: What are you talking about?

Violet: The perfume that you're wearing.

Depressed Debbie: *I'm not wearing any perfume!*

Violet: You see, that could be the problem.

Rose: That's how they

[governments and non-profits]

Rose: keep from having profits... by paying lots of money to companies like yours.

Heather: Violet's identity is made up. I don't think she's crazy.

Violet: No, I am.

Violet: When you have problems yourself, it's great to hear about someone else's truly idiotic ones, please go on.

Heather: Wow!

Violet: What?

Heather: When you said that about depressed people being mean, you weren't joking.

Violet: I know that people can have useful careers in many areas - medicine, government, law, finance...

Rose: Education.

Violet: Yes, even education. But I'd like to do something especially significant in my lifetime, the sort of thing that could change the course of human history, such as starting a new dance craze.

[after all the fraternities get shut down]

Violet: This year's Roman Holidays did seem like the end of civilization. But even when civilization ends, people are going to need a place to stay.

Lily: What's the plural of doofus?

Violet: Doufi.

Lily: Not doofuses?

Violet: You can say either... 'doufi' respects the Latin root and so is preferred. 'Doofuses' is also correct, although a bit inelegant.

Lily: You've thought a lot about this.

Violet: Yes, I've had to.