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Nicholas: [after being punished for scratching one of Teresa's records] That Froggy bitch pulled my ear off!
Philip Fairweather: Here, here, here! Who taught you to speak like that?
Nicholas: Mum did!
Philip Fairweather: [slaps the back of Nicholas's hand] That'll teach you to tell lies.
-
Albie: He's mad at us, isn't he?
Richard: He told me I was "mentally retiring", or something like that.
Albie: Yeah?
Richard: Yeah.
Albie: He's angry with us, isn't he?
Richard: He gave me Hell.
-
George: Take back your bloody filthy insinuations and get the hell out of my - fortress. Fortress. Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out.
-
Richard: Here we are!
Albie: Where?
Richard: In this shit...
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[repeated line]
Albie: RICHARD!
-
George: Agnes!
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[first lines]
Richard: What the hell are you doing?
-
Teresa: Don't put your feet in my face like that.
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Richard: One doesn't choose the time one gets into trouble.
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Richard: Albert and me are having some trouble. Get it - little fairy?
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George: What's the name of this rock pile?
Richard: Rob Roy. Lindisfarne Island, Northumberland.
George: What? Speak up!
Richard: Rob Roy! Lindisfarne Island! Northumberland!
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Teresa: Another gorilla, like you.
Richard: You ain't English, are ya? Continental, huh? You got an accent. You ain't British.
George: Well, you're not exactly Anglo-Saxon yourself.
Richard: Snotty, huh? I'm acting regular with you, and you're acting snotty. I'm regular with you, ain't I?
George: My-My wife is French.
Richard: All right.
-
Teresa: You make me sick! If you were a man, you would not let this big creep insult me.
George: Nobody's insulting you, sweetie pie.
-
Richard: Don't worry. I got the both of them locked up upstairs in their pad.
Albie: He could skip by the window.
Richard: Who?
Albie: The queer.
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Teresa: You let that big creep insult me without saying a word. You, the big war hero.
George: That's nothing to do with it. I was in the tanks.
Teresa: You told me the cavalry.
George: The armored cavalry.
Teresa: What's that?
-
Albie: That's it. Ah! I lost it.
Richard: What have you lost?
Albie: The Little Bear. I can't find it anymore.
-
Albie: There must be some booze in this dump. I'd like a drink.
Richard: Albie, lie down! You got a belly full of holes, and you want a drink? Lie down!
Albie: You've got a head full of holes, and you still want to argue. Let go of me, you half-wit! I want a drink, I tell you!
-
Albie: I want a nip!
Richard: Alright. Lie down, now.
Albie: I want a nip!
-
Richard: I locked you up, you little tramp, didn't I? Didn't I? Why'd you get out? You want me to teach you a lesson, huh? Well, my name ain't George, and I don't wear horns. I could punch that pretty puss of yours into a pumpkin. Is that what you want?
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Richard: I don't dig chicks like you.
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Teresa: Why are you digging?
Richard: It's a hobby I got.
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Teresa: May I go and get something in the house? May I go? Please.
Richard: Go to hell.
Teresa: Thank you.
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Richard: You lunkhead! Come on down. I won't eat ya!
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Richard: Mind you, I recognize everybody's opinion. I concede there are a few priests who really believe in what they preach, but most of them are phonies. It's the same thing everywhere.
-
Richard: Cheers, old chap.
George: I never drink.
Richard: You ain't refusing to have a drink with Dickie, are you?
George: I can't drink alcohol. It makes me sick. Especially this time in the morning.
Richard: Either you're a pal or you ain't. Time don't make no difference with pals. Bottoms up.
-
Richard: What a rock pile. Eleventh century.
George: Romantic age.
Richard: Bring on the little girls! You could throw some real wild orgies in that old castle of yours - couldn't you, you old bastard, you?
-
George: She's just a girl, a child. She's a naughty little girl.
Richard: A child, my foot.
George: I worship her. I'm absolutely crazy about her.
Richard: You're a sucker.
George: Have you ever been in love?
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Richard: You poor bugger.
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Richard: They're all whores! I don't give a damn for you or your goddamn love life.
-
[repeated line]
Richard: Make it snappy.
-
Philip Fairweather: Oh, yes, of course I remember! Oh! Bonnie Prince Charlie?
Marion Fairweather: No, no! The Roundheads!
Philip Fairweather: The Roundheads, with all those bagpipes?
Cecil: Jacobites.
-
Philip Fairweather: I wouldn't put up with that fellow's language.
George: Yes, I know, but good gardeners are awfully difficult to come by, you know.
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Cecil: You'll ruin that painting hanging it over the fireplace.
George: Oh, it doesn't matter.
Teresa: George painted it.
-
Marion Fairweather: You're going to have an exhibition?
Philip Fairweather: Hey, you've been hiding things from us. When are you going to have this show?
George: Surely you can see Teresa's pulling both your legs. She's teaching me to work in oils. I'm just a Sunday painter like a thousand others.
Marion Fairweather: Grandma Moses!
-
George: Nag, nag! Nagging bitch! That's all you are. All you care about is your gossip. Your nag, nag, chitter-chatter - - That's your only aim in life.
Marion Fairweather: Poor George. Poor George. It was bound to end like this. He's gone completely off his rocker because of that tart.
George: Say that again.
Marion Fairweather: Tart! She's a tart! One has only to look at you to see that she'd go to bed with anything in trousers.
George: The tart, as you call her, happens to be my wife.
Cul-de-sac Quotes
Extended Reading
