Closer Quotes

Larry: I'll pay you.

Alice: I don't need your money.

Larry: You have my money.

Alice: Thank you.

Anna: We do everything that people who have sex do!

Larry: Do you enjoy sucking him off?

Anna: Yes!

Larry: You like his cock?

Anna: I love it!

Larry: You like him coming in your face?

Anna: Yes!

Larry: What does it taste like?

Anna: It tastes like you but sweeter!

Larry: That's the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.

Anna: Why is the sex so important?

Larry: Because I'm a fucking caveman!

Larry: I'm Larry, the doctor.

Anna: Hello, doctor Larry.

Larry: Feel free to call me The Sultan.

Dan: Didn't fancy my sandwiches?

Alice: Don't eat fish.

Dan: Why not?

Alice: Fish piss in the sea.

Dan: So do children.

Alice: Don't eat children either.

Dan: It's not safe out there.

Alice: Oh, and it's safe in here?

[last lines]

Customs Officer: Welcome back, Miss Jones.

Alice: Thank you.

Dan: I fell in love with her, Alice.

Alice: Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.

Dan: You love her like a dog loves its owner.

Larry: And the owner loves the dog for so doing.

Dan: You'll hurt her. You'll never forgive her.

Larry: Of course I'll forgive her. I *have* forgiven her. Without forgiveness we're savages. You're drowning.

Anna: Why are you dressed?

Larry: Because I think you may be about to leave me and I didn't want to be wearing a dressing gown.

Larry: I used to come here a million years ago, when it was a punk club. The stage was... Everything is a version of something else. Twenty years ago. How old were you?

Alice: Four.

Larry: Christ. When I was in flares, you were in nappies.

Alice: My nappies were flared.

Larry: You're seeing him now? Since when?

Anna: Since my opening last year.

[pause]

Anna: I'm disgusting.

Larry: You're phenomenal. You're so clever.

Alice: [in the emergency room] Are we in for a long wait?

Dan: [indicating an old woman] She was 21 when she came in.

Larry: You forget you're dealing with a clinical observer of the human carnival.

Anna: Am I, now?

Larry: Oh, yes.

Anna: You seem more like the cat that got the cream, you can stop licking yourself.

Alice: How can one man be so endlessly disappointing?

Dan: That's my charm.

Larry: Dan...

Dan: Yes?

Larry: I lied to you, I did fuck Alice.

Larry: I want you to tell me your name. Please.

[throws down a note]

Alice: Thank you. My name is Jane.

Larry: Your real name.

[throws down another note]

Alice: Thank you. My real name is Jane.

Larry: Careful.

[throws down another note]

Alice: Thank you. Still Jane.

Larry: I've about got another 500 quid here. Why don't I just give you all this money, and you tell me what your real name is, Alice.

[throws down the rest of his money]

Alice: I promise.

[picks up some of the money]

Alice: Thank you. My real name... is plain... Jane Jones.

Alice: What's your work?

Dan: I'm sort of... journalist.

Alice: What sort?

Dan: I write obituaries.

Alice: Who was your last boyfriend?

Anna: My husband.

Alice: Was he English?

Anna: Very.

Anna: I don't kiss strange men.

Dan: Neither do I.

Anna: I'm sorry you're...

Larry: Don't say it! Don't you fucking say you're too good for me. I am, but don't say it.

Dan: I want Anna back.

Larry: She's made her choice.

Dan: I owe you an apology. I fell in love with her. My intention was not to make you suffer.

Larry: So where's the apology? Ya cunt.

Dan: I apologize. If you love her you'll let her go so she can be happy.

Larry: She doesn't want to be happy.

Dan: Everybody wants to be happy.

Larry: Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy to confirm they're depressed. If they were happy they couldn't be depressed anymore. They'd have to go out into the world and live. Which can be depressing.

Dan: And you left him, just like that?

Alice: It's the only way to leave. "I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."

Dan: Supposing you do still love them?

Alice: You don't leave.

Dan: You've never left someone you still love?

Alice: Nope.

Larry: Alice, tell me something true.

Alice: Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off - but it's better if you do.

Dan: What were you doing in New York?

Alice: You know...

Dan: Well no, I don't. What, were you studying?

Alice: Stripping.

Alice: [Dan looks shocked] Look at your little eyes...

Dan: I can't see my little eyes

Dan: When I get back, please tell me the truth.

Alice: Why?

Dan: Because I'm addicted to it. Because without it, we're animals. Trust me.

Dan: At six, we stand round the computer and look at the next day's page, make final changes, add a few euphemisms for our own amusement.

Alice: Such as?

Dan: "He was a convivial fellow" - meaning he was an alcoholic. "He valued his privacy" - gay. "He enjoyed his privacy" - raging queen.

Alice: What would my euphemism be?

Dan: She was... disarming.

Alice: That's not a euphemism.

Dan: Yes, it is.

Larry: [on a photography exhibit] What do you think?

Alice: It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and... all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie.

Larry: I'm the big fat liar's boyfriend.

Alice: Bastard!

Alice: So you're Anna's boyfriend.

Larry: A princess *can* kiss a toad.

Alice: Frog.

Larry: Toad.

Alice: Frog.

Larry: Toad. Frog. Lobster. They're all the same.

Larry: So Anna tell me your bloke wrote a book. Any good?

Alice: Of course.

Larry: It's about you isn't it?

Alice: Some of me.

Larry: Oh? What did he leave out?

Alice: The truth.

Dan: So, he's a dermatologist. Can you get more boring than that?

Anna: Obituarist?

Dan: Failed novelist, please.

Alice: I'm not a whore.

Larry: I wouldn't pay.

Larry: There's a girl out there who calls herself Venus, what's her real name?

Alice: Pluto.

Dan: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram.

Larry: Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood! Go fuck yourself! You writer! You liar!

Larry: So... you're a stripper.

Alice: Yeah... and?

Larry: [Larry leans in to kiss her, then he stops and begins to walk away] You take care now.

Larry: Is he a good fuck?

Anna: Don't do this.

Larry: Just answer the question! Is he good?

Anna: Yes.

Larry: Better than me?

Anna: Different.

Larry: Better?

Anna: Gentler.

Larry: What does that mean?

Anna: You know what it means.

Larry: Tell me!

Anna: No.

Larry: I treat you like a whore?

Anna: Sometimes.

Larry: Why would that be?

Dan: Deception is brutal, I'm not pretending otherwise.

Alice: How? How does it work? How do you do this to someone?

[Dan is silent]

Alice: Not good enough!

Larry: You still pissing about on the Net?

Dan: Not recently.

Larry: I wanted to kill you.

Dan: I thought you wanted to fuck me.

Larry: Don't get lippy. I liked your book, by the way.

Dan: Thanks.

[Sniffs]

Dan: You stand alone.

Larry: Why didn't you just tell me the second I walked through the door?

Anna: I was scared.

Larry: You're a coward, you spoiled bitch.

Dan: You've ruined my life.

Anna: You'll get over it.

[as Alice strips for Larry]

Larry: Are you flirting with me?

Alice: Maybe.

Larry: Are you allowed to flirt with me?

Alice: Sure.

Larry: Really?

Alice: No, I'm not. I'm breaking all the rules.

Larry: You're mocking me!

Alice: Yes, I'm allowed to flirt.

Larry: Are you leaving me? Because of this? Why?

Anna: Dan.

Larry: Cupid? He's our joke.

Larry: Did you do it here?

Anna: No.

Larry: Why not?

Anna: Do you wish we did?

Larry: Just tell me the truth.

Anna: Yes, we did it here.

Larry: Where?

Anna: [points] There.

Larry: On this? We had our first fuck on this. Did you think of me?

Larry: Are you dressed because you thought I might hit you? What do you think I am?

Anna: I've been hit before.

Larry: Not by me!

Dan: Do you have any children?

Anna: No.

Dan: Would you like some?

Anna: Yes, but not today.

Alice: Is it because she's successful?

Dan: No. It's because... she doesn't need me.

Dan: You came to, you focused on me, you said, Hello, stranger.

Alice: What a FLOOZY!

Larry: You think because you don't love us, or desire us, or even like us, you think you've won.

Alice: It's not a war.

Anna: I don't want trouble.

Dan: I'm not trouble.

Anna: You're taken.

Dan: I've got to see you.

Anna: Tough.

Dan: You... KISSED me!

Anna: What are you - TWELVE?

[first lines]

Alice: Hello, stranger.

Larry: What does your cunt taste like?

Alice: Heaven.

[each commenting on the other's lover]

Larry: He's very pretty.

Alice: She's... very tall.

Larry: You shouldn't smoke.

Alice: Fuck off.

Larry: I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to say things like that.

Dan: I'll always love you. I hate hurting you.

Alice: Then why are you?

Alice: You still fancy me?

Dan: ...Of course.

Alice: You're lying. I've been you.

Dan: Why did you fuck him?

Alice: I wanted to.

Dan: Why?

Alice: I desired him.

Dan: Why?

Alice: You weren't there!

Dan: Why him?

Alice: He asked me nicely.

Dan: You're a liar.

Alice: So?

Dan: Who are you?

Alice: I'm no one!

[Alice spits in Dan's face. Dan raises his hand to slap her]

Alice: Go on, hit me. It's what you want. come on, hit me, fucker!

[Dan slaps Alice]

Anna: Love bores you.

Dan: No, it disappoints me.

Alice: Do you want one?

Larry: No. Yes. No. Fuck it, yes!

Larry: [takes the pack] No. I've given up.

Larry: You're mocking me.

Alice: Yes I'm allowed to flirt.

Larry: To prise my money from me.

Alice: To prise your money from you I may do or say as I please.

Larry: Except touch?

Alice: We're not allowed to touch.

Larry: What would happen if I touched you now?

Alice: I would call security.

Larry: And what would they do?

Alice: They would ask you to leave and ask you not to come back.

Larry: And if I refused to leave?

Alice: They would remove you. Those are security cameras in the ceiling.

Larry: I think it's best I don't attempt to touch you. I'd like to touch you. Later.

Alice: Can I still see you?

[Dan stands silent]

Alice: Dan can I still see you? Answer me.

Dan: I can't see you. If I see you I'll never leave you.

Alice: What will you do if I find someone else?

Dan: Be jealous.

Dan: Look me in the eyes. Tell me you're not in love with me.

Anna: I'm not in love with you.

Dan: You just lied.

Alice: You all done?

Dan: Mmm.

Alice: How's the photographer?

Dan: Good. Professional. Rigorous. Thievy. One of your lot.

Alice: What, female?

Dan: Americano.

[They start up the stairs]

Dan: Come on.

[They walk into a room]

Dan: Anna, Alice.

Anna: Hi.

Alice: Sorry to interrupt.

Anna: No, we've just finished. Would you like some tea?

Alice: No, thanks. I've been serving it all day. Can I use your loo?

Anna: Sure. Just through there.

[Alice walks off]

Anna: She is beautiful.

Dan: I've got to see you.

Anna: No.

Dan: What is this, patriotism?

Alice: So this man comes into the café today, and he says, "Hey waitress, what are you waiting for?"

Dan: Funny guy.

Alice: So I go, "I'm waiting for a man to come in here and fuck me sideways with a beautiful line like that."

Dan: So what did he ask for?

Alice: He asked for a cup of tea with two sugars.

Dan: I saw this face, this vision; the moment you stepped into the road. It was the moment of my life.

Alice: This is the moment of your life.

Dan: You were perfect.

Alice: I still am.

Anna: [photographing her] You've got a great face.

Alice: Doesn't everyone?