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Marshall Schmidt: [referring to book in his hand] You recommended this to me a long time ago. You said you felt it was written about you.
Sam Davis: Yeah, well, those were my younger and more vulnerable years.
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Sam Davis: Everybody seems sad here. That's why we could really clean up in a place like this.
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Sam Davis: It's refreshing to find two people so good looking involved with each other.
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Whit Coutell: Zoe and I are getting married on Sunday. And it's my birthday!
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Sam Davis: Maybe you shouldn't send post-cards to people to notify them about heart-breaking news.
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Zoe: Whit thought it would be nice for us to schedule our wedding while he already had everyone here for his birthday weekend.
Sam Davis: Hold on - nothing about that statement seems odd to you?
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Zoe: What are you doing?
Sam Davis: It seems I'm in the process of winning you back.
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Sam Davis: You seem like trouble. I would like to get into some trouble.
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Sam Davis: Here, have a cheese plate, it will slow your heart down.
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Zoe: Now you're just being an ass, Sam.
Sam Davis: Yes, I am. I'm winning you back goddamn it.
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Teddy: I made this for your wedding. It's your portrait. It's a big skinny penis with balls.
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Whit Coutell: I guess I just don't feel the need to chase girls around the school-yard anymore.
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Marshall Schmidt: These are bad people, they're irresponsible. They're like babies with money.
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Sam Davis: Don't you realize you should be thanking me right now? I took you on an adventure!
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Sam Davis: I've made some terrible mistakes and I've probably alienated everybody who was close to me, but I did that because I love you.
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[first lines]
Sam Davis: [reading for children's book] He would not take no for an answer. Our young hero traveled a great many leagues beneath the ocean's surface to find his shackled mermaid. And he had no intention of leaving without her. However, the evil Sea King had other plans. Like a mad man driven by love and revenge, he unsheathed his spear gun and fired!
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Marshall Schmidt: When did you start smoking?
Sam Davis: Recently.
Marshall Schmidt: You know, you probably shouldn't be doing it at a gas station.
Sam Davis: That's an old wives tale, Marshall.
[flicks it away]
Ceremony Quotes
Extended Reading
