Cemetery Junction Quotes

[first lines]

Mr Kendrick: Frederick Taylor. Freddie Taylor. Welcome to Vigilant Life Assurance. I see you grew up in Cemetery Junction. Went to Stone Meade, the worst school in the south of England.

PC Renwick: [in his face] Can I help you?

Bruce Pearson: Wow yeah, you can start by brushing your teeth. What have you been doing, sucking a toilet bar?

Mr. Taylor: [to Freddie] You've got no respect, and I've told you about it a hundred times. I know why you're doing it now, because he wears a suit, he thinks he's better than his dad. Well, that don't mean nothin' mate, and one day he's gonna come down to work at the department and he's gonna realize he's just like the rest of us.

Freddie's Gran: You listen to your father, he knows what he's talking about. You'll never amount to anything.

Mr. Taylor: Exactly.

Freddie's Gran: Because he never amounted to anything.

Mr. Taylor: What'chu mean, I never amounted to anything?

Freddie's Gran: You know what I mean.

Mr. Taylor: I don't know what you mean, I've got two jobs.

Freddie Taylor: Dad, buy a policy or I'll be out of work on Monday.

Mr. Taylor: Good, you can help dig your grandmother's grave.

[pointing at her]

Mrs Taylor: [revealing her eavesdropping] 1964.

Julie: What about it?

Mrs Taylor: That's the last time your father said thank you for a cup of tea.

[last lines]

Freddie Taylor: Why did you decide to come at the last minute?

Julie: Because I think I might be in love with you, too.

Freddie Taylor: No, I guessed that. I mean why did you leave it until the last minute? We almost missed the train.

Julie: No. Thought I'd make a dramatic entrance.

Freddie Taylor: Don't know why we ran so hard, there's another one in an hour.

[to Freddie, on his first day at work]

Mike Ramsay: When you're selling life assurance, you want the stench of death in their nostrils. You're talking to the husband but you want the missus thinking "Crumbs, Chief! What's my life gonna be like when he pegs it?" Men work, women worry - that's what you rely on.

[Bruce pins Freddie down while Snork squats over him and loudly farts on his face]

Freddie Taylor: That's disgusting!

Bruce Pearson: [to Snork] Not allowed to fart on him now that he doesn't work in a factory?

Julie: There's this ancient Arab proverb that says...

Freddie Taylor: [interrupting] Whoah... there's an ancient Arab proverb? My, you've changed.

Julie: Listen, it's sweet. It says: "throw your heart out in front of you and run ahead to catch it." Whatever you desire, imagine it's in front of you right now and just grab it.

[awkward pause]