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[Monk puts some ointment on Kar's hand]
Kar: Hey, I like this. It's cool. It's comfy. It's fast acting. This stuff is great. What is it?
Monk With No Name: Homemade. From my own urine.
[Kar sniffs his hand]
Kar: That's disgusting!
-
Kar: The reason hot dogs come in packages of ten but hot dog buns come in packages of just eight is so you'll always need more buns for your hot dogs. Because no matter how much you get, how much you achieve, how many times you win... You can never, ever let yourself feel like it's enough.
[Later on]
Kar: So, I figured it out. Why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan. So be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.
-
[Nina shows Jade a picture of a refugee kneeling in front of a man with a rifle]
Nina: Tell me, deep inside, at the bottom of your soul, who would you rather be? The man about to be shot? Or the man about to do the shooting?
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Monk With No Name: An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a quiet conversation over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.
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Monk With No Name: It's not about anger - it's about peace. It's not about power - it's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy - it's about knowing yourself.
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Strucker: You may be my granddaughter. But that will only protect you for so long.
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Kar: [after Monk defies gravity by hovering in the air before floating back down] How did you do that?
Monk With No Name: The Air! You can't see it but it's there... it fills your lungs! Air is as real as you and me... it's as real and the same as blood or flesh or bone or earth or water. Once you understand and realize this... you treat the air the same way as you treat other things. You step on it as you would a stone, you swim through it as you would the sea. And all you have to do is truly believe.
Kar: Believe what, that the laws of gravity don't exist?
Monk With No Name: [smugly] If You Truly Believe That *They* Don't...
[shakes head]
Monk With No Name: ... Then They *Don't*
-
Cabbie: [playing ethnic music with no words] Do you guys like this music?
Kar, Monk With No Name: ...Yea!
Cabbie: It's the bomb diggity.
[phone rings]
Cabbie: Excuse me I have to talk to my baby-mamma-to-be.
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Monk With No Name: Water which is too pure has no fish.
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Master Monk: You defeated an army of enemies while a flock of crane circled above. You battled for love in the palace of jade. You freed brothers you never knew with a family you never had.
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Monk With No Name: [of Kar] For some reason, I believe he has potential.
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Strucker: Monk, you may be good, but you are not bulletproof.
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Strucker: I don't like monkeys.
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Mr. Kojima: And I am through taking your messages. My name is Kokijima. Not Sony, Sanyo, Toshiba.
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Monk With No Name: Somehow I sense he has potential.
Jade: Really? I sense he's mostly full of shit.
Monk With No Name: But rich manure can fertilize fields which will feed millions.
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Kar: You can at least tell me why those guys were chasing you
Monk With No Name: All right.
[throws off coat]
Monk With No Name: Let me put it in a language you will understand.
Kar: [softly] Okay.
Monk With No Name: Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten while hot dog buns come in packages of just eight?
Kar: What? What the hell is that? You can't answer my question with another question, especially not one as stupid as that!
Monk With No Name: When you attain the state of enlightenment that allows you to answer my question, I will answer yours.
-
[Strucker finds the scroll is incomplete]
Strucker: Where is the rest of it?
Monk With No Name: I memorized it. Just in case someone like you managed to get this far.
Bulletproof Monk Quotes
Extended Reading
Director: Paul Hunter
Language: English,Tibetan,Punjabi,German Release date: April 16, 2003