Ron Paul: [after Brüno drops his pants] All right, get out of here! This is ended.

Ron Paul: [later, in the hallway] That guy's queerer than the blazes. He took his clothes off. Let's get goin'. He's queer, he's crazy, he put a hit on me and took his clothes off.

Brüno: [narrating] I couldn't even schtupp RuPaul.
Brüno: How do you protect yourself from a dildo?
Brüno: [about his baby, O.J] I've gotta be honest: he's a real dick magnet.
TV Host: What's the baby's name?

Brüno: I gave him like a traditional African name: O.J.
Drill Sergeant: Your finger's in my alley.

Brüno: Not yet.
Brüno: [about the baby in his arms] I swapped him.

African-American Lady: Swapped the baby for what?

Brüno: For an iPod.
[last lines]

Snoop Dogg: Hey, hey, he gay, he gay, OK.
Brüno: Look at the four of us; we are so like the Sex in the City girls!

Donny: Oh no, we aren't either!

Brüno: Which one are you, Donny?

Donny: I ain't any one of them, I'm Donny.

Brüno: That is such a Samantha thing to say!
Brüno: Can I give you guys a word of advice? Lose the beards, because your King Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard... or a homeless Santa.
Brüno: We have chosen your baby to be dressed as a Nazi Officer, pushing a wheelbarrow, with a Jewish baby, into an oven!
Brüno: [after eating numerous pieces of pie] I'm committing carbicide.
Brüno: [referring to a woman's breasts] You must produce a lot of milk.
Brüno: It's just this bear took my clothes. He took everything apart from these condoms.
Brüno: I am going to be the biggest Austrian celebrity since Hitler.
Harrison Ford: [when being confronted by Brüno trying to interview him] Fuck off!
Brüno: Looking up at the stars makes me think of all the hot guys in the world.
PR Consultant: Is there something that you, like, that you believe in, like...

Brüno: Well, I'm really into issues.

PR Consultant: Yeah. Global warming's only getting worse, so...

Brüno: Great!

PR Consultant: That would be, that's something to get involved now, so... we can just help East, uh, Africa in order to help for our future in order for everyone... that's a beneficial thing to be involved with now.
Brüno: Ich was going to become famous by solving a world problem! But which one? Clooney's got Darfur, Sting's got the Amazon, and Bono's got AIDS! Luckily, there was still one shithole left to fix: the Middle Earth.
Brüno: Look me in the eye.

Angry Swinger: This is a fuckin' swingers' party. OK? If you don't want pussy, if you don't want fuckin'... then quit fuckin' touching me and quit looking at me. I definitely ain't lookin' at you in the eye. OK? I didn't come here for no fuckin' queer shit, OK? I know what you're doin'.
Dominatrix: Get on your fucking knees and suck my spike hair, bitch.
Elton John: [singing] War's just based on hate and fear / Stop fighting, North and South Korea.

Brüno: [singing] You're both basically Chinese.

Chris Martin: [singing] He's Brüno, dove of peace.

Snoop Dogg: [rapping] Hey, yo Brüno, where the bitches at?
Brüno: So you were never gay?

Pastor Jody Trautwein: [shakes head] Mh-mh.

Brüno: It's ironic that you should have amazing blowjob lips.

Pastor Jody Trautwein: These-these lips were made to praise Jesus.
Brüno: There's a lot of African Americans in Africa!

African-American Lady: No! There's a lot of Africans in Africa!

Brüno: That's racist!
Brüno: So... if they are nice they are gay, right?
National Guard Officer: What type of belt is that, candidate? What is that?

Brüno: D and G.

National Guard Officer: What is D and G?

Brüno: Dolce and Gabbana, hello.
Dominatrix: What is this? You're gonna dress me like a man?

Brüno: No, it's just a beard.
National Guard Officer: By the way, where's your uniform? Go get your uniform on. Do it!

Brüno: [Brüno returns with a scarf on]

National Guard Officer: Oh my god. What's up with the scarf?

Brüno: That is like... it's my own...

National Guard Officer: [Interrupts] Let me introduce you to somebody. Captain Miles!

Captain Miles: [Walks towards Brüno] Candidate, what are you doing? Stand into position of attention, candidate!

National Guard Officer: Do it!

Captain Miles: Head and eyes straight forwards, candidate!

National Guard Officer: Do it!

Captain Miles: Head and eyes straight forward!

National Guard Officer: Do it!

Captain Miles: Stand still, candidate!

National Guard Officer: Do it!

Captain Miles: That is not part of the uniform, candidate. You need to take that off.

Brüno: This outfit is to matchy-matchy as it is. And so I was just trying to break it up with some simple horizontal lines.

Captain Miles: Do you have an attitude, candidate?

Brüno: No but, sir...!

National Guard Officer: I think we do...

Brüno: Sir, she's got an attitude!

National Guard Officer: Not sir, officer candidate!

Captain Miles: What?

National Guard Officer: Did you just call me a she? Get down!
Brüno: [standing naked outside of tent] Donny, let me in your tent. A bear stole all of my clothes... except for these condoms.
Lutz: Because I think that... you're amazing.

Brüno: Am I going to wake up to find you masturbating over me?

Lutz: I promise not to wake you.
Brüno: I wouldn't want to wake up and find that I'm torn in my arschenholer.
Hotel Manager: No. This is not what was supposed to be going on in here.

Brüno: You're telling me, honey. I should be chained to a 6'4" Norwegian with a PhD in sucking dick.

Hotel Manager: That's not my concern.

Brüno: Okay, well, listen, one other thing. Can you switch off the television? Because I made a fart, and I am on the verge of buying Mr. Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium.

Hotel Manager: That's unfortunate.

Brüno: No, but I refuse to pay for Mr. Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium. I did not press it.

Hotel Manager: No, I'm afraid we are not gonna be doing that.

Brüno Quotes

Extended Reading

Brüno short comments

Omari 2022-03-27 09:01:05

The ending song is too bright...
Valentin 2022-03-27 09:01:05

It's far away from "Dictator" and it's very close to "Borat". This time, there is no lower limit to spoof in the European and American TV circles, fashion and gays. The interview style and MTV shows are in the same line, but many places are not as complete as TV. (It’s a movie after all) I watched the part that I can remember, but not much. It’s nothing more than the cult feeling of the censorship part of the variety show and the part where everyone came to support the sublimation at the end of the film. The irony should be regarded as support.