Broken Quotes

Dr. Gregory House: [to another patient in during a group session] Cut your wrists, huh?

Dr. Beasley: Greg, there are certain topics...

Dr. Gregory House: Oh! I'm sorry. Is suicide taboo? Gosh, Have I broken a rule on my first day? I will kill myself.

Dr. Beasley: Group's over!

Dr. Beasley: Ready to play nice?

Dr. Gregory House: Would you believe me if I said "yes"?

Dr. Beasley: No.

Dr. Gregory House: Then yes.

Dr. Gregory House: Seriously? Is that your strategy, give everybody what they want, except me?

Dr. Darryl Nolan: You're a natural leader. You could do something useful down here... for them... definitely for you. Or we could keep fighting. If you think you can break me. If you think I'm not every bit as stubborn as you.

Dr. Beasley: I know you're scheming. Working on your next elaborate plan to get out of here. Why don't you put the plan on hold for a few days... see what happens. Just let me do my job. If you prefer private to group, we can do that. Maybe try some SSRIs. If you think nothing is working, you can always go back to your schemes.

Dr. Gregory House: God, if only you'd said that two minutes ago. Before I came up with my new scheme. Now I'm committed. Ha! Get it?

Dr. James Wilson: House?

Dr. Gregory House: NO, it's your other friend in the asylum.

Dr. Darryl Nolan: Everything in your life has been about finding the truth. But suddenly with this guy, you decide to reinforce a sick man's delusions. You just want to take a swing at me, huh? You don't care about getting out. You don't care about him. You don't even care about the truth!

[Scoffs]

Dr. Darryl Nolan: You don't care about anything, House! I'm transferring you to Winslow Psychiatric. You'll have better luck pulling the wool over their eyes. I'm done!

Dr. Gregory House: Don't. I need help.

Dr. Gregory House: I want to get better. Whatever the hell that means. Sick of being miserable.

Dr. Darryl Nolan: So you'd like to be happy.

Dr. Gregory House: Again with the reflecting. Yes! I'd like to be happy.

Dr. Darryl Nolan: Being happy is an excellent goal. Not many patients can crystallize exactly what they're hoping to get out of this.

Juan 'Alvie' Alvarez: They broke you!

Dr. Gregory House: They didn't break me. I am broken. Now stop worshipping me and go worry about your own loser life.

Dr. Gregory House: I have had relationships.

Dr. Darryl Nolan: You screwed up relationships. Every one of them. Almost like that was the goal. I want you to trust... people.

Dr. Beasley: You want out - just talk, be honest. Try to work with people... try to deal with people.

Dr. Gregory House: Okay.

[Gets up, walks over to Alvie]

Juan 'Alvie' Alvarez: House! House! He's on my team!

Dr. Gregory House: Shut up. Nobody likes you.

[Walks over to Jay-Bird and towers over him]

Dr. Gregory House: Am I crowding you?

Jay-Bird: What?

Dr. Gregory House: Can't see the sun?

[Sarcastically]

Dr. Gregory House: Oh no, everything's closing in!

[Takes the ball from Jay-Bird, turns to Dr. Beasley, and points at Jay-Bird]

Dr. Gregory House: He's the claustrophobic one, right? Cause I'm doing this from memory.

[Walks over to Richter, without dribbling]

Richter: You have to dribble!

Dr. Gregory House: Why? C.I.A. satellites aren't watching me, they're watching you - 'cause you're wearing green.

[Richter takes his shirt off. House walks over to Hal]

Dr. Gregory House: Oh, this is too easy. Seriously, anorexia? Are you supposed to be a girl? And in answer to your implicit question, yes, those pants do make you look fat.

[Walks over to Susan]

Dr. Gregory House: How upset were you when you woke up in the ER, you were still alive, and a failure?

[Shoots the ball into the hoops]

Juan 'Alvie' Alvarez: Wooo, two-nothing, good guys!

Dr. Gregory House: [Walks over to Beasley] You're right. It is rewarding to reach out.

[Turns to go inside]

Dr. Beasley: Can't go up there, it's yard time right now.

Dr. Gregory House: Put it on my tab!

[Walks inside]