Bringing Up Baby Quotes

Susan Vance: You mean you want *me* to go home?

David Huxley: Yes.

Susan Vance: You mean you don't want me to help you any more?

David Huxley: No.

Susan Vance: After all the fun we've had?

David Huxley: Yes.

Susan Vance: And after all the things I've done for you?

David Huxley: That's what I mean.

Susan Vance: Well, don't you worry, David, because if there's anything that I can do to help you, just let me know and I'll do it.

David Huxley: Well, er - don't do it until I let you know.

[In jail]

Susan Vance: Anyway, David, when they find out who we are they'll let us out.

David Huxley: When they find out who *you* are they'll pad the cell.

Mrs. Random: Well who are you?

David Huxley: I don't know. I'm not quite myself today.

Mrs. Random: Well, you look perfectly idiotic in those clothes.

David Huxley: These aren't *my* clothes.

Mrs. Random: Well, where *are* your clothes?

David Huxley: I've *lost* my clothes!

Mrs. Random: But why are you wearing *these* clothes?

David Huxley: Because I just went *GAY* all of a sudden!

Mrs. Random: Now see here young man, stop this nonsense. What are you doing?

David Huxley: I'm sitting in the middle of 42nd Street waiting for a bus.

Alice Swallow: Oh David, what have you done?

David Huxley: Just name anything, and I've done it.

[David discovers the leopard in Susan's bathroom]

David Huxley: Susan, you have to get out of this apartment!

Susan Vance: I can't, I have a lease.

[Limping after losing a heel from one shoe]

Susan Vance: I was born on the side of a hill.

[David and Susan have just discovered that Baby is missing]

David Huxley: Now don't lose your head, Susan.

Susan Vance: My what?

David Huxley: Don't lose your head!

Susan Vance: I've got my head, I've lost my leopard!

David Huxley: You don't understand: this is *my* car!

Susan Vance: You mean *this* is your car? *Your* golf ball? *Your* car? Is there anything in the world that doesn't belong to you?

David Huxley: Yes, thank heaven, YOU!

[reading letter about new leopard]

Susan Vance: "He's three years old, gentle as a kitten, and likes dogs." I wonder whether Mark means that he eats dogs or is fond of them?

[first lines]

Prof. LaTouche: Good morning, Miss Swallow.

Alice Swallow: Shh.

Prof. LaTouche: Why what's the matter ?

Alice Swallow: Doctor Huxley is thinking.

[last lines]

Susan Vance: Oh, David, can you ever forgive me?

David Huxley: I... I... I...

Susan Vance: You can! And you still love me.

David Huxley: Susan, that... that...

Susan Vance: You do. Oh, David.

David Huxley: Oh, dear. Oh, my.

[Susan is stealing David's car from the golf course]

Susan Vance: Now, don't lose your temper.

David Huxley: My dear young lady, I'm not losing my temper. I'm merely trying to play some golf!

Susan Vance: Well you choose the funniest places; this is a *parking-lot*.

[repeated line]

David Huxley: I'll be with you in a minute, Mr. Peabody!

David Huxley: Susan, is there any way to cross this stream?

Susan Vance: Oh, surely it's shallow. We can wade across.

[they both walk into the stream, then fall in after the floor drops off]

David Huxley: Oh, Susan...

Susan Vance: The riverbed's changed!

Susan Vance: [watching George the dog dig up what they think is David's dinosaur bone] Oh, look, David, a boot.

David Huxley: [angrily] A boot.

[picks it up and makes like he's going to swing with it]

Susan Vance: Don't hit George, David.

David Huxley: I wasn't going to hit *George*!

Susan Vance: I won't leave you, David! I love you!

David Huxley: What?

Susan Vance: You've just had a bad day, that's all.

David Huxley: That's a masterpiece of understatement.

Mrs. Random: Who is this David?

Susan Vance: He's a friend of Mark's.

Mrs. Random: Is that all you know about him?

Susan Vance: No, I know that I'm gonna marry him. He doesn't know it but I am.

Mrs. Random: Now see here, if you're planning to marry him on my money you are very much mistaken. I don't want another lunatic in the family I have lunatics enough all ready. When are you going to marry him? What's his name?

Susan Vance: It's uh Bone

Mrs. Random: Bones ?

Susan Vance: One Bone

Mrs. Random: Well one bone or two bones it's a ridiculous name.

Mrs. Random: What does he do?

Susan Vance: He hunts

Mrs. Random: Hunts? Hunts what?

Susan Vance: Well - animals I should think.

Susan Vance: Oh, I'm caught on something - David, help me, will you?

David Huxley: Oh, no. That's poison ivy.

Susan Vance: I bet you wouldn't treat Miss Swallow this way.

David Huxley: I bet Miss Swallow knows poison ivy when she sees it.

Susan Vance: Yes, I bet poison ivy runs when it sees her.

David Huxley: [on the phone] Yes, I did see Mr. Peabody, but I didn't see him. Well that is, I didn't see him really. Yes, I spoke to him twice, but I didn't talk to him.

Alice Swallow: But David, I don't understand. Did you see him or didn't you ?

David Huxley: Well - no I don't know - well how do I know ? well because - because - well there's someone at the door - you see there are some things that are very hard to explain, Alice.

[Susan is pretending to be a mobster]

David Huxley: Constable, she's making all this up out of motion pictures she's seen!

Susan Vance: Oh, I suppose I saw you with that red-headed skirt in a motion picture ?

Constable Slocum: There you are doc - another woman.

Susan Vance: Sure, I wouldn't be squealing if he hadn't give me the run-around with that other twist.

Constable Slocum: Oh, so he's a lady killer.

Susan Vance: A lady killer? Why he's a regular Don Swan. Loves the ladies, don't ya, honey? He bops them over, one, two, three - boom - just like that.

[Pretends to open a cork and toss it away]

Susan Vance: He's a wolf.

David Huxley: [Claps his head] Oh, so now I'm a wolf!

[Collapses on a cot]

Alice Swallow: Now once and for all, David, *nothing* must interfere with your work. Our marriage must entail no domestic entanglements of any kind.

David Huxley: [Stammering nervously] You mean... you mean...

Alice Swallow: [Firmly] I mean of *any* kind, David.

David Huxley: [David is trying to prove to Susan that she's playing his ball] You see, a PGA has two black dots and a Cro-Flight has a circle.

Susan Vance: Mm-hmm. I'm not superstitious about things like that.

David Huxley: [Pointing to a mark on the golf ball Susan just sank] There you see, it's a circle.

Susan Vance: Well, of course it is, do you think it would roll if it were square?

David Huxley: [David has just slipped on the olive Susan had dropped and he has fallen backward - sitting upon his hat] Well I might have known you were here. I had a feeling - just as I hit the floor.

Susan Vance: That was your hat.

Susan Vance: What would you say about a man who follows a girl around...

Dr. Fritz Lehman: Follows her around...

Susan Vance: ...And then when she talks to him, he fights with her?

Dr. Fritz Lehman: Fights with her... is the young man your fiance?

Dr. Fritz Lehman: Well, the love impulse in men very frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict.

Susan Vance: [Excitedly] The love impulse!

Dr. Fritz Lehman: Without my knowing anything about it, my rough guess would be, that he has a fixation on you, a fixation...

Susan Vance: No no wait a minute, I can't remember any more than that!

Susan Vance: You're angry, aren't you?

David Huxley: Yes, I am!

Susan Vance: Mm-hmm. The love impulse in man frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict.

David Huxley: So if you don't mind, Susan, I'll see Mr. Peabody alone, and unarmed.

Susan Vance: Without me?

David Huxley: Yes, without you, and *definitely* without you.

Susan Vance: Now that's all perfectly clear, isn't it?

Dr. Fritz Lehman: Yeah-No it *isn't* ! You see - she's going to give me an explanation...

David Huxley: No no no and my dear sir, it never *will* be clear, as long as she's explaining it!

Susan Vance: Now please listen to me - you certainly can't think that I did that intentionally!

David Huxley: Well, if I *could* think, I'd have run when I saw you!

Susan Vance: [Susan realizes that she has torn the back of her dress] Don't just stand there. Do something! Do something! Oh my goodness! Well, get behind me.

David Huxley: I *am* behind you.

Susan Vance: Well, get closer.

David Huxley: I can't *get* any closer!

Mr. Gogarty: [Gogarty, David, and Susan are in jail] Miss Susan! How'd you get here?

David Huxley: Influence.

Susan Vance: Don't worry, Gogarty, I'll get you out.

David Huxley: Oh, sure. Look, she got me out.

Mrs. Random: [Mrs. Random finds David and Susan running out of the house] Susan Susan - come back here - come back here this minute! What are you doing?

Susan Vance: Hunting for George.

Mrs. Random: Why?

Susan Vance: [In a rush] David wants him, David loves him, David thinks he's such a nice dog.

Mrs. Random: George is a fiend and you know it!

Susan Vance: But David doesn't.

David Huxley: But Susan, you can't climb in a man's bedroom window!

Susan Vance: I know, it's on the second floor!

David Huxley: [Susan is collecting pebbles] Susan, what are you doing?

Susan Vance: Pebbles.

David Huxley: Pebbles? What for?

Susan Vance: Well, I've heard that if you throw pebbles up against a window, the people think it's hail and then they come and close the windows.

David Huxley: I, I, I - Oh!

[Susan throws the pebbles and they loudly crash against Peabody's window]

David Huxley: Oh, I know we ought to go now, but somehow I can't move.

Mrs. Random: What are you doing?

David Huxley: [exasperated and wearing Susan's negligee] I'm sitting in the middle of 42nd Street waiting for a bus!

David Huxley: Alice I think this one must belong in the tail.

[referring to a bone he is holding]

Alice Swallow: Nonsense. You tried it in the tail yesterday, and it didn't fit.

Susan Vance: [Susan is pretending to be a gun moll who is turning on supposed mobster partner David Bone by exposing his supposed alias to Constable Slocum] You mean to say you don't remember 'Jerry the Nipper' ?

David Huxley: Constable she's making all this up out of motion pictures she's seen!

[Irene Dunne refers to Cary Grant as 'Jerry the Nipper' in 'The Awful Truth']

David Huxley: First you drop an olive, and then I sit on my hat. It all fits perfectly.

Susan Vance: Oh, yes, but you can't do that trick without dropping some of the olives; it takes practice.

David Huxley: What, to sit on my hat?

Susan Vance: No, to drop an olive.

David Huxley: My bone. It's rare. It's precious. What did you do with it?

Susan Vance: The bone!

David Huxley: Susan, you had it. Give it to me.

Susan Vance: No, I haven't got it.

David Huxley: Did you carry it somewhere?

Susan Vance: No, David. Why would I carry a bone around?

David Huxley: I wouldn't dare give a reason for anythting you do.

Susan Vance: Well, I guess you'll have to find another one.

David Huxley: It took three expeditions and five years to find that one!

Susan Vance: David, now that they know where to find one, couldn't you send them back to get another one?

Mrs. Random: Well, what does he do?

Susan Vance: He's a big game hunter.

Mrs. Random: [She sees David chasing George around] You call that big game hunting?

David Huxley: I don't like leopards!

Susan Vance: Well, just pretend he's a housecat.

David Huxley: I don't like cats, either.

Susan Vance: [One the phone] Have you got a leopard?

David Huxley: No.

Susan Vance: Well, I've got a leopard, and you're a zoologist, so come over and help me.

Susan Vance: [pauses] Yes, David, of course I know what a zoologist is!

Mrs. Random: [after David answers the door to her dressed only in Susan's negligee] Well, who is he?

Susan Vance: Oh, he's a friend of Mark's, from brazil. He's had a nervous breakdown, and it's left him a little...

[Moves her hand in small circles next to her ear to indicate that David is insane]

David Huxley: [Under his breath] Oh, so now I'm a nut from Brazil!

Mrs. Random: Why is he wearing your negligee?

Susan Vance: Mark said that if he wants to wear a negligee, we have to let him wear a negligee.

Susan Vance: [She brings David his intercostal clavicle] Look! I found your bone!

David Huxley: How did you find it?

Susan Vance: Well, I followed George around for three days. I dug holes with him, and he dug holes with me, and I found your bone!

David Huxley: What would happen if Baby and George got together?

Susan Vance: They'd probably get along.

David Huxley: And if they didn't?

Susan Vance: Then Baby would eat George.

Alice Swallow: You're just a butterfly.

David Huxley: Oh, so now I'm a butterfly!

Susan Vance: [Reading aloud from letter] "He likes music, especially that song 'I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby'."

[Puts down letter, switches on record player]

Susan Vance: I wonder why he likes that song, it's such an old tune, and...

David Huxley: [Terrified] Susan, if we put the Victrola in the bathroom, would he go back in there?

Prof. LaTouche: Good morning, Miss Swallow.

Alice Swallow: Shhh!

Prof. LaTouche: Why, what's the matter?

Alice Swallow: Shhh! Dr. Huxley is thinking

David Huxley: Alice, I think this one must belong in the tail.

Alice Swallow: Nonsense. You tried it in the tail yesterday and it didn't fit.

David Huxley: Yes, that's right. I did, didn't I?

Alice Swallow: You have an appointment this afternoon.

David Huxley: Have I? What for?

Alice Swallow: To play golf with Mr. Peabody.

David Huxley: What Peabody?

Alice Swallow: THE Alexander Peabody who represents Mrs. Carleton Random.

David Huxley: Now let me think.

Alice Swallow: Who may donate $1 million to the museum to complete all this.

David Huxley: Oh, sure! That Mr. Peabody. $1 million. That's pretty white of Mr. Peabody.

Alice Swallow: You haven't got it yet.

Mr. Gogarty: [panicked after having seen Baby] I saw it outside.

Mrs. Gogarty: Saw what?

Mr. Gogarty: A cat as big as a cow, with eyes like balls of fire.

David Huxley: My glasses! Don't move, Susan.

Susan Vance: Here they are. Oooh, they're broken. I'm so sorry.

David Huxley: It doesn't make any difference. The things I've been doing today, I can do just as well with my eyes shut.

Constable Slocum: Hold on. You can't spell "leopard" with a "U".

Motorcycle Cop at Jail: How do you spell it?

Constable Slocum: Double "U".

Prof. LaTouche: [the scene opens in a large room with a 30 foot skeletal brontosaurus that is surrounded by scaffolding. Dr. David Huxley, a renowned paleontologist is seated at the top of the scaffolding atop a walk-board at the head of the brontosaurus] Good morning, Miss Swallow.

Alice Swallow: Shhh!

Prof. LaTouche: Why, what's the matter?

Alice Swallow: Shhh! Dr. Huxley is thinking

David: Alice, I think this one must belong in the tail.

Alice Swallow: Nonsense. You tried it in the tail yesterday and it didn't fit.

David: Yes, that's right. I did, didn't I?