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James: Are you ok?
Bradley Thomas: South of ok. North of cancer.
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Bradley Thomas: Our marriage, us, we've, uh... It's like it's like when I go into the mini-mart at the gas station and get coffee. They got those three metal containers there. One's got cream, one's got milk, and the other's got that gray-lookin' skim stuff. And every time I go in there, those labels are faced away, and I have to guess which one's the real stuff, the cream. But every time, the first container I grab is always that milk or that skim stuff. It's never the one I want. The law of averages says one out of three times, I... I ought to get the cream, but it doesn't happen. Maybe if I go in there a thousand times, it'll even out like it should. I'll have a run of pickin' out the cream fifty or a hundred times in a row, but, uh... I don't think so. I don't think things even out fair like that.
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Warden Tuggs: The men here aren't like those faggots over there in the Fridge. You can test us if you want to. Prisoners are expensive, and we're only too happy to help the State balance its budget by deploying some cheap lead.
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Bradley Thomas: I'm gonna use that one.
M.P.V.: We're using it now, gringo.
Bradley Thomas: Don't call me a foreigner. Last time I checked, the colors of the flag weren't red, white and burrito.
M.P.V.: Wanna start some stuff?
Bradley Thomas: I'm more of a finisher.
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Bradley Thomas: That's right, I'm loco. Now get the fuck out of my crazy way.
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Warden Tuggs: I suspect that Amnesty International would frown upon the contents of this room. Cell Block 99 is the prison within the prison. You will stay down here until you're sorted out. Or carried out.
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Bradley Thomas: When I autograph that cast, should I make it out to Mr. or Mrs. Bitch?
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[passing phone to Eleazar]
Bradley Thomas: Talk correct, or get raped.
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Andre: You box?
Bradley Thomas: No.
Andre: Them muscles just for show?
Bradley Thomas: Helps me lift stuff.
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Bradley Thomas: I'd rather knit baby booties with pink yarn than hit people for no reason.
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Bradley Thomas: [Andre shines torch in Bradley's face] That necessary?
Andre: Pretend like you're talking to God.
Bradley Thomas: He doesn't smell like nachos.
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Detective Watkins: Give us some names. Give me one important name. Who are you working for?
Bradley Thomas: I work alone.
Detective Watkins: Who supplies your crystal?
Bradley Thomas: Some guy.
Detective Watkins: "Some guy" got a name?
Bradley Thomas: I forgot.
Detective Watkins: Would you remember if I showed you a list of names?
Bradley Thomas: Don't like to read. Won't even see a movie if it's got subtitles.
Detective Watkins: Well, what would happen if I read them aloud? You wouldn't even have to say anything. Just nod your head up and down.
Bradley Thomas: I'll narrow it down for you. What's your name?
Detective Watkins: Detective Lawrence Watkins.
Bradley Thomas: That wasn't it.
Detective Watkins: You find this humorous?
Bradley Thomas: Your tricks are.
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Detective Watkins: You're looking at four years, maybe five. Do you know that drug traffickers actually serve those sentences?
Bradley Thomas: I'm aware that the system is harder on guys that distribute drugs than it is on men who commit acts of violence against women and children. Do you think that's fair?
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Gil: In the fridge. Jill got you your faggoty mineral water.
Bradley Thomas: I didn't know H2O's got a sexual orientation.
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Gil: How'd the transaction go?
Bradley Thomas: Never a problem with Cuz.
Gil: Yeah I like that nigger. Or is it - is it "nigga" with an A at the end, when you're saying it nice?
Bradley Thomas: Don't think someone like you can say that word any way polite.
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Lauren Thomas: You're gonna be a drug dealer?
Bradley Thomas: No. I'm gonna drive packages for a friend.
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Cinnamon: I promise I can put a great big smile on each of those nuts.
Bradley Thomas: No thanks. I don't want anyone to see their braces.
Brawl in Cell Block 99 Quotes
Extended Reading
