-
Jane: She's holding you back, man. Everyone says so. She's like Yoko with bangs.
-
Massarelli, Prosecuting Attorney: One last time: are - you - gay?
Jane: Yes - I - am.
[Massarelli turns away, satisfied]
Jane: I bet a lot of women tell you that. But in my case, it happens to be true.
-
Jane: [Elaine is crying at Robin's bedside, the nurse thinks her sniffles are relative to a cold, and tells her she could aggravate her daughter's condition] It's not a goddamn cold! Don't be such a hoo-hoo.
Nurse: [apathetic] And what's a hoo-hoo?
Elaine: [kindly] It's a cunt, dear.
[nurse gasps]
Elaine: Now why don't you leave us alone?
-
Holly: Did I hurt him?
Jane: What do you mean did you hurt him, you hit him with a bat!
-
Elaine: I do the best I can, honey. I know it's not enough, and I'm sorry. But that's what you get in life, you know? You get whoever you end up with. Whoever is willing to stick by you, and fight for you, when everyone else is gone. And it ain't always who you expect. But you just have to make do.
-
Robin: I don't know what it is but there's something that goes on between women. You men know that because it's the same for you. I'm not saying one sex is better then the other. I'm just saying, like speaks to like. Love or whatever doesn't always keep. So you found out what does, if you're lucky.
-
Massarelli, Prosecuting Attorney: Are you a lesbian too, Ms. Nickerson?
Robin: No sir but at times I understand the inclination.
-
Holly: Oh, God. To think it's possible I killed my baby's daddy.
Jane: "To think it's possible?" You hit him in the head with a baseball bat. He's dead.
Holly: No, I mean, it's possible that Nick is the daddy.
-
Robin: But this person who dumped her, she was gay, right?
Holly: Yeah, but even with gay girls there are no guarantees. They're very emotional. That's about all I know. They love uniforms and don't break their hearts.
Robin: Uniforms?
Holly: Oh, yeah, all kinds. Especially UPS.
-
Nick: [Billy is regaining consciousness while taped into chair after being knocked out with a ball bat] My fuckin' head...
[gets up, collapses, and dies]
-
Jane: ...Do you miss it?
Robin: What?
Jane: Sex.
Robin: Yeah, I do... You know what's weird? You never know the last time you sleep with somebody it's the last time. You're thinking: "Oh, we got problems, we got work to do," you know, but you never think... and then you break up and a month later you look back and you go: "Oh, that was it." That Tuesday or Friday or whenever, and you wished you paid attention because it was the last time... Well.
-
Robin: Don't you knock?
Jane: Not in a public toilet, no.
-
Jane: The farther away from that body I get, the happier I'll be.
-
Jane: No, we're not taking drug money on the road with us. Put it back.
Holly: Well, it's not like you can tell by looking at it.
Jane: OK, you have a point: we'll just take half, all right? And we are not taking drugs on the road with us, either. So give them back.
[Holly returns the stash]
Jane: Thank you.
Holly: You're welcome.
-
Jane: You were gonna bring a baby into that house?
Holly: Oh, like, what were my options?
Jane: How about abortion?
Holly: I couldn't do that. I'd feel like a murderer.
Jane: Honey, you ARE a murderer!
-
Holly: Anyway, uhm... Jane called me at work, wanted to know how you are.
Robin: I'm fine.
Elaine: Who's Jane?
Abe: [mouth full of corn from his cob] Jane used to live here up until a few days ago.
Robin: You stay out of this, Holly. It's between me and Jane.
Holly: Well, she asked for my advice, so I told her she's anti-Lesbian.
Robin: I am not.
Elaine: [shocked] Who's a Lesbian?
Robin: Jane is.
Elaine: [shocked] And she was living here?
Abe: Yes, Ma'am.
Robin: [indignant] I am not 'anti-Lesbian'!
Holly: Not you, her.
Elaine: Who?
Robin: Jane.
-
Holly: [while Abe munches on his cob of corn] See this is her old problem. She creates a situation where she gets this rejection that everyone else sees coming.
Robin: She just wasn't being honest.
Holly: Well, I think it's a black thing too.
Elaine: [more shocked] Jane is black?
Abe: [mouth full of corn from his cob] Yes, Ma'am. She sure is.
Robin: And you can't live a lie. You just can't.
Holly: [glancing at Abe] Well, there's lying and then there's... just not telling.
[Munching on his cob of corn, Abe glances up at her]
Robin: Big diff.
Elaine: She's a black Lesbian?
Abe: [mouth full of corn from his cob] Yes, Ma'am. That is right.
Elaine: [looking at Robin] And she was living here? With you?
Holly: No, no, no no, no no. She was just living here. They weren't like fucking or anything.
[Elaine gasps; Robin rolls her eyes. Abe laughs, nearly choking on his corn]
Holly: [seeing Robin's expression and reconsidering] Were you?
Elaine: [shocked] Were you?
Abe: [eager] Were you?
Robin: [indignantly disregarding them] Ah - I'll get the coffee.
-
Elaine: [referring to Holly and Abe] So what? She still should grab him. Believe me I know what she's gonna have to go through. You know, I'm a feminist too. I was a single mother after your father left. You think that was easy? I even voted for Carter twice. But you can't fight nature. God knows, you girls keep trying. Treating your men like side dishes. Stick a fork in when needed-just like men used to treat us.
Boys on the Side Quotes
Extended Reading
