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Jared: Can I get a "what what"?
Amy: Oh my god.
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Jared: Prepare to get bashed! In a fun way, like consensually bashed, I mean. Consensually bashed, it should say. Prepare to get consensually bashed.
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Jared: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was nuts.
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Amy: We'll probably just do a Korean face-mask.
Charmaine: I don't need to know all the words.
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Molly: It's fun your mom thinks we're boning.
Amy: It isn't you who has to deal with their awkward looks when I say that I'm going to the library with you and I'm actually going to the library with you.
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Motivational Voice: Fuck those losers. Fuck them right in their stupid fucking faces.
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Principal Brown: There's nothing more exciting and daunting than the blank page. Oh, that's good. Maybe I'll do a book of quotes.
[He starts recording on his phone]
Principal Brown: There's nothing more exciting or daunting than the blank page.
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Molly: Amy, do you know how many girls are gonna be up your vagina next year? Every time I come visit you, you're gonna be scissoring a different girl.
Amy: Dude, scissoring is not a thing.
Molly: Don't knock it until you've tried it.
Amy: It's not a thing.
Molly: Don't knock it until you've tried it.
Amy: I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying it isn't a thing.
Molly: How about you don't knock it until you've tried it?
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Molly: You can make yourself cum using only your mind? That's like the one thing my mind can't do.
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Molly: We missed out. We didn't go to parties because we wanted to focus on school and get into good colleges.
Amy: And it worked!
-
Molly: We are not one-dimensional. We are smart and fun!
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[Amy and Molly pop up in the back of Pat's car, using their hair as masks, and scream]
Pat the Pizza Guy: What the fuck is this?
Molly: We ask the questions!
-
Molly: Dude, you were so scary.
Amy: If you were actually a criminal, you'd be the best criminal in Los Angeles.
-
Molly: Nobody knows we're fun.
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Triple A: I'm incredible at hand-jobs but I also got a fifteen-sixty on the SATs.
-
Molly: We haven't done anything. We haven't broken any rules.
Amy: Okay, we've broken a lot of rules. One: We have fake IDs.
Molly: Fake college IDs, so we can get into their 24-hour library.
Amy: Name one person whose life was so much better because they broke a couple of rules.
Molly: Picasso.
Amy: He broke art rules. Name a person who broke a real rule.
Molly: Rosa Parks.
Amy: Name another one.
Molly: Susan B. Anthony.
Amy: God dammit.
-
[Amy shows Molly how to use mace]
Amy: Mace. Listen, it is very important that you keep the safety...
[the mace sprays past Molly's face]
Molly: Oh. Amy!
[Molly runs out of the room]
Amy: This wasn't on. Don't touch your eyes!
-
[Amy is being put into a police car by a cop]
Amy: Shotgun! Just kidding. I don't have one.
-
Amy: Time for us to do what we do best.
Molly: What's that?
Amy: Motherfucking homework.
-
Theo: Can I see you again?
Miss Fine: Good luck at Google next year.
[Miss Fine leaves as Triple A approaches]
Triple A: Did you fuck Miss Fine?
-
Molly: You guys don't even care about school.
Triple A: No, we just don't only care about school.
-
Triple A: Can you not call me Triple A at college next year?
Molly: Sure... Annabelle.
Triple A: Ew, fuck. Not now.
-
Molly: You failed the seventh grade twice.
Theo: Rule of threes.
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Molly: This is not a time to celebrate, let's go to a party tonight.
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Gigi: I'm a Golden Starfish!
[Falls into a swimming pool]
-
Molly: Gigi, where the fuck you going to school next year?
Gigi: Don't judge me. It was my fifth choice: Harvard.
-
Amy: [about Jared and Gigi after they arrived at school] Here comes the 1%.
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Gigi: I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park but... it turned out to be a graveyard, and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs waiting to be reborn.
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Molly: [On Gigi and Jared] They spend every minute together, it's so weird.
Amy: We spend every minute together.
Molly: We are equals. Gigi just keeps Jared around for when she needs a liver.
-
Molly: Malala
Amy: Whoa
Molly: I'm calling Malala.
Amy: Wow. You know you only get,like, one Malala a year?
Molly: Yeah, I'm calling it. Full support, no questions asked, you are coming with me.
-
Jared: [yelling to Amy and Molly] You guys hungry? I got some soup dumps!
Gigi: [lying on the roof of Jared's car] Keep it down out there!
-
Molly: Yeah, Amy's spending the summer in Botswana helping women make their own tampons.
George: That's... gross.
Amy: Well, blood attracts lions. I'm saving lives.
-
Amy: Sorry, are you talking about porn?
Molly: All I'm saying...
Amy: No.
Molly: No one will know if you watched one porn one time. Think of it as a documentary. It's just a sexy documentary. It's a hot doc.
Amy: All of those women are European trafficking victims.
Molly: Excuse me, ma'am, are you judging other people's sexual preferences? 'Cause you fuck a panda every night.
-
Jared: So, Molly actually warned me she might be a little late and tapped me to start her speech.
Principal Brown: Wait, wait, Molly Davidson's gonna be late to graduation?
Jared: Yeah.
Principal Brown: Okay, that doesn't sound like her.
Jared: Right. Well, uh, she also asked me to remind you that... um... um... I got it. Uh... "this sort of thing happens all the time on the senate floor, and if a senator isn't present for a vote..."
Principal Brown: Okay. Okay.
Jared: "... a proxy..."
Principal Brown: Great. Okay, that does sound like her.
Jared: "... for the vote to take place... in his or her absence."
Principal Brown: I got it.
Booksmart Quotes
Extended Reading
