Bloodsucking Bastards Quotes

Frank: Today we become men.

Evan: Or vampires.

Tim: Or dead.

Max: Evan, do you remember what I said we sell here?

Evan: Dreams?

Max: Yeah, that was bullshit. We sell fear.

Tim: We need to arm ourselves. We need weapons and shit!

Frank: I was waiting for you to say that.

Max: I want you.

Elaine: I'm a virgin.

Max: You all are.

Evan: Mandy please, can we talk privately? Just somewhere else?

Amanda: Don't call me Mandy.

Janitor: Do you even know my name?

Evan, Tim: Janitor?

Evan: This is going to sound insane, but the entire office has been turned into...

Janitor: Vampires, yeah.

Evan: Did everybody know but me?

Tim: Seems that way.

Evan: Let's just get this over with, I'd rather die than listen to your lame management style any longer.

Max: My management style is effective! And refreshing.

Ted: Jesus, god dammit, I know they're vampires.

Amanda: Uh, wait, wait. what?

Ted: I track how many paper clips we use per quarter, do you think I wouldn't notice a vampire company takeover?

Tim: How many paper clips do we use per quarter?

Amanda: I knew that you were selfish and immature Evan, but I did not think you would commit career suicide to impress me. That is pretty lame.

Evan: Dammit Amanda, I'm not trying to commit career suicide, I am trying to prevent career homicide!

Tim: You fucker! Take that!

Dave: You trying to repel me with a cross made of pencils?

Andrew: [after Amanda kills Zabeth] Dammit Amanda I just started boning her!

Amanda: Sorry.

Tim: This is pretty much the grossest thing I've ever seen.

[Sees Evan and Amanda kissing]

Tim: I stand corrected.

Mike: Honestly I bet dating her is like dating a guy. Who's like a hot chick, that has you know, like a penis.

Tim: So not a girl?

Mike: No, still a girl. Did you not listen to what I just said?

Andrew: Alright.

Mike: No it's a hot girl with a, with a beautiful penis. But she's still a, she's still a chick! She just has guy parts!

Andrew: No I get where you're going.

Mike: It's a feminine penis. Ok, what if it was a guy with a vagina?

Tim: Eh he makes a good point.

Evan: You gotta be fucking kidding me. This is my desk now?

Tim: Well officially its still the photo printer's desk. But you can share it.