Blockers Quotes

  • Mitchell: I can't even hug my daughter anymore without feeling her boobs.

  • Lisa: Let's cock-block those motherfuckers.

  • Hunter: W,W,V,D,D?

    Lisa: What would Vin Diesel do?

  • [From trailer]

    Lisa: In times of crisis, parents are known to have super-human strength.

  • Kayla: I'm tripping so hard. I just had a vision my dad was chugging beer through his asshole.

  • Hunter: Ooh, I love puzzles. I just saw Inferno.

  • Hunter: [reading their children's group chat] "Lit AF". That's not great.

    Mitchell: No, it's... they're gonna get literature. African literature.

  • Julie: I'm having sex.

    Sam: That's great. I'm having soup.

  • Kayla: This is not a big deal. They're teenage girls. They have sex. Do you, like, freak out when you see a bee fucking a flower?

  • Kayla: I just wanna let you know that I am fully planning on having sex tonight. With you.

    Connor: Yeah. I mean, wherever the wind blows us.

    Kayla: Well, the wind's gonna blow us there.

    Connor: Wherever the night takes us.

    Kayla: It's gonna take your penis into my vagina.

    Connor: Okay. You know, if the universe wills it.

    Kayla: And the universe will will it.

    Connor: Thanks for letting me know, I guess.

  • Hunter: I know what it's like to be ostracised by society for your sexual preferences.

    Mitchell: Sleeping with women that aren't your wife isn't a sexual preference.

    Hunter: No, it is. I prefer them.

  • Chad: You sure you wanna do this?

    Sam: Yeah. Yes. Fuck yeah. You're gonna penis me.

  • Kayla: Guys, so much went down tonight. Including Connor.

    Julie: No!

    Kayla: Let's just say, the chef went out to eat... my pussy.

  • Kayla: How was it?

    Julie: Honestly, a little painful, kinda fast and kinda awkward... but absolutely perfect.

  • Kayla: Penises are not for looking at, they're for use. They're like plungers.

  • Marcie: [Referring to the panties Mitch is munching on trying to arouse her] Those are your daughter's.