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Mitchell: I can't even hug my daughter anymore without feeling her boobs.
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Lisa: Let's cock-block those motherfuckers.
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Hunter: W,W,V,D,D?
Lisa: What would Vin Diesel do?
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[From trailer]
Lisa: In times of crisis, parents are known to have super-human strength.
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Kayla: I'm tripping so hard. I just had a vision my dad was chugging beer through his asshole.
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Hunter: Ooh, I love puzzles. I just saw Inferno.
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Hunter: [reading their children's group chat] "Lit AF". That's not great.
Mitchell: No, it's... they're gonna get literature. African literature.
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Julie: I'm having sex.
Sam: That's great. I'm having soup.
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Kayla: This is not a big deal. They're teenage girls. They have sex. Do you, like, freak out when you see a bee fucking a flower?
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Kayla: I just wanna let you know that I am fully planning on having sex tonight. With you.
Connor: Yeah. I mean, wherever the wind blows us.
Kayla: Well, the wind's gonna blow us there.
Connor: Wherever the night takes us.
Kayla: It's gonna take your penis into my vagina.
Connor: Okay. You know, if the universe wills it.
Kayla: And the universe will will it.
Connor: Thanks for letting me know, I guess.
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Hunter: I know what it's like to be ostracised by society for your sexual preferences.
Mitchell: Sleeping with women that aren't your wife isn't a sexual preference.
Hunter: No, it is. I prefer them.
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Chad: You sure you wanna do this?
Sam: Yeah. Yes. Fuck yeah. You're gonna penis me.
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Kayla: Guys, so much went down tonight. Including Connor.
Julie: No!
Kayla: Let's just say, the chef went out to eat... my pussy.
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Kayla: How was it?
Julie: Honestly, a little painful, kinda fast and kinda awkward... but absolutely perfect.
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Kayla: Penises are not for looking at, they're for use. They're like plungers.
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Marcie: [Referring to the panties Mitch is munching on trying to arouse her] Those are your daughter's.
Blockers Quotes
Extended Reading