Birds of Prey Quotes

  • Harley Quinn: Do you know what a harlequin is? A harlequin's role is to serve. It's nothing without a master. No one gives two shits who we are, beyond that.

  • Harley Quinn: Here's the thing, Romy baby: your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you. Just like they're scared of Mr. J. But I'm the one they should be scared of! Not you, not Mr.J! Because I'm Harley Fucking Quinn!

  • Black Mask: WOOO! Who's having a good time?

  • Black Mask: Turn it up!

  • Cassandra Cain: [from trailer] Oh shit, is that a hyena in the bathtub?

    Harley Quinn: I named him Bruce after that hunky Wayne guy.

  • Harley Quinn: Oh hey, you're that singer no one listens to.

    Dinah Lance: Oh hey, you're the asshole no one likes.

  • Harley Quinn: [after Dinah uses her Canary Cry] I told you she had a killer voice.

  • [repeated line]

    The Huntress: Do you know who I am?

  • Harley Quinn: [gets kicked] Right in the tit!

  • Black Mask: Why don't I own the crossbow killer? I like crossbows!

  • Cassandra Cain: [to Harley] I stole your ring.

    [holds up a grenade pin]

  • Harley Quinn: YOU KILLED MY SANDWICH!

  • Dinah Lance: What the hell is up with this bow and arrow shit?

    The Huntress: IT'S NOT A FUCKING BOW AND ARROW. It's a crossbow! I'm not twelve!

    Dinah Lance: I love this chick. She's got rage issues.

    The Huntress: [getting in her face] I DON'T HAVE RAGE ISSUES!

  • Harley Quinn: [talking about the Ace Chemical Plant] Some people have their Eiffel Tower or Olive Garden...

  • Harley Quinn: They say if you want to tell a story right, you gotta start at the beginning.

  • Harley Quinn: You know what they say: behind every successful man is a badass broad.

  • Harley Quinn: [on her breakup with The Joker] So... we broke up.

  • Sionis' Chauffeur: You broke my fucking legs!

    Harley Quinn: [mockingly] Oh, boo-hoo.

  • Harley Quinn: Being Joker's girl gave me immunity.

  • Harley Quinn: Number 1: No one is like me.

  • Harley Quinn: I'm not shopping at this store - I'm robbing this store. Paying is for dummies!

  • Harley Quinn: If you want boys to respect you, show them you're serious. Shoot something, blow it up!

  • Harley Quinn: I'm sorry, kid, I'm just a terrible person I guess.

  • Harley Quinn: THAT is childhood trauma right there.

  • Harley Quinn: [Sionis is outside the Booby Trap hideout] He's after all of us.

    [indicating Cassandra]

    Harley Quinn: The kid just robbed him.

    [to Dinah]

    Harley Quinn: You betrayed him.

    [to Huntress]

    Harley Quinn: You killed his BFF.

    [to Montoya]

    Harley Quinn: And you're dumb enough to be building a case against him. So, unless we all want to die very unpleasant deaths, and let Roman go finger-fishing through the kid's intestinal tract, we're going to have to work together.

  • Harley Quinn: [while arming themselves against Roman's army] Isn't this fun? It's just like a sleepover. We should order pizza, make Cosmos...!

    Dinah Lance: Harley, focus!

  • Harley Quinn: Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.

  • Harley Quinn: [to Montoya] Aren't you glad you wore that? Sexy AND bulletproof!

  • Harley Quinn: You made me want to be a less terrible person

  • Harley Quinn: [handing out lime margaritas, to Cassandra] You drink, right, kid?

    Cassandra Cain: Sure.

    Renee Montoya: [plucks it away] I don't think so.

  • Renee Montoya: I underestimated you and I'm sorry.

    Harley Quinn: [shrugs] I'm used to it.

  • Harley Quinn: Call me a softie, I dare ya!

  • Harley Quinn: There are two ways that diamond's coming out of you.

    [holds up a bottle of LaxPlus]

    Harley Quinn: This way.

    [grabs a sharp knife]

    Harley Quinn: Or this way.

    [Cassandra quickly chooses the bottle of LaxPlus]

    Harley Quinn: That's what I thought. Also, I'm out of groceries.

  • Victor Zsasz: [to Roman] I'm gonna get your diamond back. I promise.

  • [at end of closing credits]

    Harley Quinn: Are you dummies still sitting there? Fine! Since you stuck it out this long, I'll tell you a super-duper secret secret, which you can't tell anyone! Okay. Did you know that Batman f...

  • Victor Zsasz: [sing songy] Oh, songbird. You drive as good as you fight?

    Dinah Lance: Who's asking?

    Victor Zsasz: The boss. You're getting promoted.

    Victor Zsasz: [Zsasz slow claps] You're his new driver.

    Dinah Lance: Thanks, but I'm good with the singing gig.

    Victor Zsasz: You're gonna be good at the driving gig. Be here tomorrow. 9 a.m. sharp.

  • Harley Quinn: [sees poster of Captain Boomerang] Hey, I know that guy.

  • Harley Quinn: Here's the thing , Romy baby - your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you. Just like they're scared of Mr. J. But I'm the one they should be scared of. Not you. Not Mr.J. Because I'm Harley Fucking Quinn!

  • Harley Quinn: I'm sorry, kid. And I'm sorry I tried to sell you, that was a dick move. For what it's worth, you made me want to be a less terrible person.

    Roman Sionis: Ew.

    Cassandra Cain: If we're apologising for shit, I should tell you something.

    Roman Sionis: Excuse me!

    Cassandra Cain: I stole something from you.

    Harley Quinn: You slippery fingered little turd.

    Cassandra Cain: I took your ring.

    Harley Quinn: My ring?

    [Cassandra holds up a grenade pin]

  • Dinah Lance: She stole my fucking car!

  • Harley Quinn: [First lines; voice over] They say, if you want to tell a story right, you got to start at the beginning.

    [we see a cartoon of a sperm heading towards an ovary egg]

    Harley Quinn: Too far? Fine.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] This is me, Harleen Quinzel. When I was a kid, my dad traded me for a six-pack of beer. But however many times he tried to ditch me, I kept coming back. Eventually, he found me a new home. The good sisters of St. Bernadette's taught me a lot. But I was never an establishment kind of gal. All things considered, I did good. I even went to college. I got my PhD. Had my heart broken once or twice. Finding love, it's not easy. So I threw myself into my work, became a psychiatrist. That's when I met him. Mr. J. My Joker.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] Oh, I fell hard. Like out of a plane without a parachute, right in your dumb fucking face kind of hard. I lost all sense of who I was. I only had eyes for Pudding. We all know the saying, "Behind every successful man there's a badass broad." Well, that was me. I was the brains behind some of Mr. J's greatest stunts. Not that he let anyone know it.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] I guess all good things have to come to an end. So, we broke up. I handled it real mature.

    [shot of Harley pounding on the door of Joker's hideout, sobbing uncontrollably]

    Harley Quinn: But Mr. J was super broke up about it. I got an amazing new place that was all mine. It gave me the space to really reflect on the mistakes of my past.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] I had to find a new identity. A new me.

    [Harley cuts her hair in the mirror and bursts into tears]

    Harley Quinn: It wasn't easy. But after a while, I even opened myself up to the possibility of new love.

    [in a pet store, Harley sees a spotted hyena and coos enthusiastically]

    Harley Quinn: [voice over] Here's the thing about new love...

    Sleazy Breeder: [whispering] I take payment in kind.

    Harley Quinn: [voice over] You have to feed it.

    [cut to the hyena in Harley's apartment, gnawing the remains of the Breeder's leg]

  • Harley Quinn: [we see Harely taking up roller derby and going to Roman's nightclub; voice over] Soon enough, I was back on my feet. Ready to move on, to make new friends. It was time for Gotham to meet the new Harley Quinn, so I really put myself out there.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] I knew I needed to find some way to show the world that I'd cut ties with Mr. J for good. Some people have the Eiffel Tower, or Olive Garden. The Joker and I? Our love bloomed in a highly toxic industrial processing plant. And, luckily for me, I have all my best ideas drunk.

    [aloud; drunk]

    Harley Quinn: I have the *best* idea!

  • Harley Quinn: [after she blows up the ACE Chemicals Plant where she pledged herself to Joker; voice over] It was the closure I needed. A fresh start. A chance to be my own woman. But I wasn't the only dame in Gotham looking for emancipation. This is our story. And I'm telling it, so I'll start where I fucking want.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] I'm about to learn that a lot of people in this city want me dead. And at the top of that list, is this guy.

    [we see Roman holding some people hostage with Zsasz torturing them]

  • Roman Sionis: Will your paramour be joining us this evening?

    Harley Quinn: Not tonight, Romy. Not tonight.

    Roman Sionis: Well, enjoy yourself, Miss Quinn. And do give the Joker my best.

    Harley Quinn: [voice over] Okay, fine, so I hadn't told people about the breakup. But you don't understand. Being Joker's girl gave me immunity. I could do whatever I wanted, to whoever I wanted, and no one ever dared to object.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] The whack job with the penchant for peeling faces is Roman Sionis, aka Black Mask. The fact that he wants me dead hasn't yet hit my radar. See, I was halfway across town, hungover, and thinking about breakfast. Egg, bacon, American cheese. Soft, toasted buttered roll. Just a dash of hot sauce. What a way to start my new life. With the perfect egg sandwich.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] It had been six short hours since my little stunt at ACE Chemicals announced to the world that Mr. J and I were dunzo. The immunity I'd enjoyed for so long was gone.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] And what's worse, every person I ever wronged now felt free to come and take their pound of flesh. Turns out, I wronged a lot of people.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] For you to understand why me, the cop, and that dame on the toilet, her name's Cassandra Cain, are all looking for this Cain character, I got to take you back a few days, to that night I got sh*tfaced at the Black Mask Club.

  • Harley Quinn: [referring to Dinah; voice over] Canary's been singing at Roman's club for years. He calls her his little bird, and he's got her wrapped right around his fancy little finger.

  • Harley Quinn: [Harley meets Dinah at Roman's club] Know what a harlequin is?

    Dinah Lance: Janky-ass clown with bad eye makeup?

    Harley Quinn: Oof! Oof! A harlequin's role is to serve. An audience. A master. You know a harlequin's nothing without a master. And no one gives two fucks who we are beyond that.

    Harley Quinn: Yeah, I don't know who you think I am, lady, but I'm not her.

    Harley Quinn: Pudding and I broke up. I haven't told that to anyone. Yeah. For good this time. And for the first time, in a long time, I'm all on my lonesome. It's great.

    Dinah Lance: Welcome to the club.

  • Roman Sionis: You're here because...

    Harley Quinn: [interrupts him] Oh, God, stop. You're going to do that thing where you open up a weird-ass case of torture devices, while inexplicably detailing your master plan, and how I don't fit into it.

    Roman Sionis: I'm building a better...

    Harley Quinn: [interrupts him again] Seriously, you don't have to. Really! You're building a criminal empire because daddy kicked you out of Janus Corp. And you think this is a big fuck you, but in actuality it's a very misguided attempt to win back his respect. I get it. You're really not as complicated as you think.

    Roman Sionis: And you're really not as clever as you think, because now I'm going to slice your...

    Harley Quinn: Oh, Jesus Christmas! Now you're going to say that you want to kill me to set an example. Christ, you're boring.

    Roman Sionis: I want to kill you...

    Harley Quinn: Shit.

    Roman Sionis: Because without the Joker around... I can.

  • Harley Quinn: [referring to Cassandra steals swallowing Roman's diamond that she stole; voice over] In the storytelling business, this dummy, swallowing that diamond, is called a complication. A complication I didn't exactly need right now.

  • Victor Zsasz: [referring to Harley blowing up the ACE Chemicals plant] Harley Quinn did it. Some kind of "fuck you" to the Joker. They split.

    Roman Sionis: What's wrong with you, Victor? Talk about burying the lead. This is spectacular news! She doesn't belong to him, she belongs to me. Have the boys go find her. Round her up, bring her back. I want her.

  • Harley Quinn: [after she offers to find Roman's diamond in exchange for not killing her] Harley Quinn: You want this diamond back? I'm your gal. Mr. J once lost a rare photograph of a nude Eleanor Roosevelt, and I found it in a bird's nest in Robinson Park. If you let me go, just for now, I'll get you that rock back. What have you got to lose? If your boys find it first, swear to God, you can kill me later. Pinky swear. Cross my heart, hope to fart.

    [Roman smacks her across the face]

    Roman Sionis: You're so tiresome! If you want my mercy, shut that hole in the middle of your face and listen. You're going to get me my diamond.

  • Roman Sionis: For all your noise and bluster, you're just a silly little girl with no one around to protect her.

    [He settles into a chair, a thug hands him a bowl of popcorn, and he motions for Zsasz to begin]

    Harley Quinn: Whoa, wait!

    Roman Sionis: What?

    Harley Quinn: Don't kill me.

    Roman Sionis: Ha! Right.

  • Roman Sionis: [after Harley is captured by Roman] Harleen Quinzel. Wooh!

    Harley Quinn: Hiya, Romy.

    Roman Sionis: Do you know why you're here? Hm?

    Harley Quinn: [voice over] When it comes to me and Roman Sionis, there are a lot of possible answers to this question.

  • Cassandra Cain: [Cassandra tosses a dynamite out the window of the car, exploding the car chasing them] Who did I just blow up?

    Harley Quinn: Either someone who wants me dead, or someone looking to collect the half-million dollar reward on your head.

    Cassandra Cain: Half a million dollars?

    Harley Quinn: Yeah.

    Cassandra Cain: Do I look like I'm worth half a million dollars?

    Harley Quinn: Not really.

    Cassandra Cain: You've got the wrong kid. Now, uncuff me.

    Harley Quinn: Oh, sure. As soon as you give me the diamond.

    Cassandra Cain: What diamond?

  • Harley Quinn: [sees the notice of the bounty Roman posted for Cassandra] Roman, you trustafarian fuckbag.

  • Roman Sionis: I'll give you till midnight. And then I'm going to peel off that pretty face, and pickle it. Okay?

    Harley Quinn: [voice over] Call me old fashioned, but I always thought the guy was meant to get the girl a diamond.

  • Cassandra Cain: I don't know nothing about no diamond.

    Harley Quinn: The inflection in your voice, the way you can't hold eye contact, and the fact that you're a filthy little thief, all suggest that you do. Now, you can give it to me, or I can give you to the man that diamond belongs to. But trust me when I say, you're not going to like what he's going to do to you. Now, hand it over.

    Cassandra Cain: Yeah, not going to happen.

  • Harley Quinn: You're not going to try to run, are you?

    Cassandra Cain: Look, if there's really a half mil on my head, I figure I'm better off with the person who's not going to cut me open.

    Harley Quinn: Fine. But if you try to run, I will kill you. I do not care that you're a kid.

  • Harley Quinn: [to Cassandra] I'm telling you, if you want boys to respect you, you have to show them that you're serious. Blow something up. Shoot someone. Nothing gets a guy's attention like violence.

  • Cassandra Cain: Seriously though, how did you get to be here? I mean, shopping at fancy-ass stores, you're making bank, you have your own business. How did you do it? Come on, tell me. Woman to woman. Being a pickpocket's fine and all, but I got real potential. I mean, how do I be like you? Well, except for the crazy part. But other than that.

    Harley Quinn: Number one, no one is like me. If you wanted to even come close, you would have to go to medical school. Become a psychiatrist. Work in an asylum. Fall in love with your patient. Break said patient out of said asylum. Begin a life of crime. Jump into a vat of chemicals to prove yourself to a madman. Get arrested by the Batman. Go back to jail. Get out of jail with a bomb on your neck. Save the world, go back to jail, and break out of jail before breaking up with the aforementioned madman, and going out on your own. Number two...

    [picks up a bottle of water]

    Harley Quinn: Six bucks for tap water with a fucking cucumber stick in it? *That's* crazy. I'm not shopping at this store. I'm robbing this store. Consider this your first lesson: paying is for dummies.

  • Cassandra Cain: [referring to Harley's drawing of Joker] He your ex or something?

    Harley Quinn: You don't know who that is? The Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime. My former partner in madness. The Harlequin of Hate. The Jester of Genocide. You've never heard of him?

    Cassandra Cain: Well, sounds like a dick.

  • Harley Quinn: [last lines; voice over] I know what you're thinking. You think I'm a dick after all that. But you heard what the cop said. Sionis is gone. And those guys? They're going to be just fine. Montoya's boss picked up the gangbangers at the Booby Trap. And took all the credit while he was at it. Again. It was the kick in the balls she needed to see that she had nothing to prove to those blowhard assholes. She quit the same day. We got the secret bank codes off the diamond. And Huntress got her family money back. She's using it to fund a little crime fighting outfit. They call themselves the Birds of Prey. I call them dorky little do-gooders. The rock itself was worth a chunk of change, so I pawned it. And I invested the cash in a little startup making waves in the East End. Oh! And I found Bruce. He was wandering around Chinatown. I guess it proves the theory that hyenas really do have nine lives. Yeah. Yeah. I made the kid my apprentice. Call me a softy...

    [Harley lowers her sunglasses and looks into the camera; aloud]

    Harley Quinn: I dare you.

  • Helena Bertinelli: So, what now?

    Renee Montoya: Sionis is gone, but it's just a matter of time before some other asshole tries to finish what he started.

    Dinah Lance: Right

    Renee Montoya: We got to clean this city from the inside out.

    Helena Bertinelli: [to Dinah] Does she always talk like the cop in a bad '80s movie, or is that just me?

    [Dinah starts laughing]

    Renee Montoya: Fuck you. And fuck you.

    Helena Bertinelli: What?

    Renee Montoya: I mean, we were amazing there!

  • Harley Quinn: [referring to Helena, who's family was massacred when she was younger; voice over] She spends the next fifteen years thinking only of revenge. So, she starts training. When she was ready, and by "ready" I mean a badass motherfucking killing machine, she moves back to Gotham. Starts working on that kill list. She has the murder stuff down, but the rest?

    Helena Bertinelli: [practicing in front of the mirror] Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?

    Harley Quinn: [voiceover] Still a work in progress.

    Helena Bertinelli: [still practicing] They call me...

    Renee Montoya: The Crossbow Killer.

    Helena Bertinelli: They call me...

    Roman Sionis: The Crossbow Killer!

    Helena Bertinelli: They call me...

    Stefano Galante: [dying] The Crossbow Killer?

    Helena Bertinelli: [in the present] They call me... Huntress.

  • Helena Bertinelli: I killed Galante. I killed his firing squad. I killed Victor Zsasz. And now I'm done.

    Harley Quinn: Bravo.

    Helena Bertinelli: So if you don't mind, I'm going to leave now.

    Renee Montoya: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I hate to be the one to break it to you, sweetheart, but you are not done. Who do you think funded Galante's little power grab, huh? Galante was working with Sionis. Roman killed your whole family looking for that rock. You don't think he's going to kill this kid? That diamond is our only chance of stopping him.

  • Harley Quinn: [after killing Roman, Harley, Dinah, Helena, Montoya and Cassandra are at a diner] Kid, if that burrito doesn't make you shit, I don't know what will.

    Cassandra Cain: Give me a minute.

    [they cheer her as she gets up to go to the bathroom]

    Harley Quinn: I've given her prune juice, laxatives. I mean, the kid's got a stomach made of steel.

  • Dinah Lance: [after Zsasz's killed; pointing her gun at Harley] I'm not letting you sell the kid to him.

    Harley Quinn: I wasn't going to sell the kid. I was going to trade the kid.

    Dinah Lance: Yeah. To save your own stupid skin. Huh?

    Harley Quinn: I'm not proud of what I did. But I had half the city after me.

  • Cassandra Cain: [as someone knocks on the apartment door] You said they wouldn't find us.

    Harley Quinn: Chillax. No one knows we're here.

    Henchman: Harleen Quinzel, this is Gotham Police.

    Harley Quinn: [shocked] Okay. So they know.

  • Harley Quinn: [referring to Helena; voice over] She calls herself Huntress. Fucking fabulous, if you ask me.

  • Harley Quinn: [voice over] For you to understand why me, the cop, and that dame on the toilet, her name's Cassandra Cain, are all looking for this Cain character, I got to take you back a few days, to that night I got shitfaced at the Black Mask Club.

  • Desk Sergeant: [Harley walks up to the Police reception wearing a trenchcoat] Can I help you?

    Harley Quinn: [British accent] Why, yes. Yes, you can. I'm here to report a terrible crime.

    Desk Sergeant: And what terrible crime is that?

    Harley Quinn: [opens her coat to pull out a non-lethal M79 grenade launcher] This one.

  • Harley Quinn: [as they're fighting off Roman's army] Hair tie?

    Dinah Lance: Yeah.

  • Helena Bertinelli: [as Cassandra is captured by Roman and his men continue to attack them] Guys, come on! They're closing in! Renee

    Renee Montoya: Canary, you know what you have to do.

    Dinah Lance: Cover your ears! You better get her back.

    [Dinah uses her metahuman ability of supersonic screaming to defeat Sionis's men]

    Harley Quinn: [voice over] Told you she had a killer voice

  • Harley Quinn: [as they are picking out their weapons, Montoya picks a top to wear] Oh, no, no, no. Not that one. Sentimental value. Try this.

    [she gives Montoya a bulletproof vest]

    Renee Montoya: You're kidding.

    Harley Quinn: What? Got to take care of the girls.

  • Victor Zsasz: [to Harley Quinn about his scars] I got one for all the little birds I helped fly away from this world. I'm saving a special spot for you. Right here.

  • Victor Zsasz: You're a filthy fucking rat.

    Dinah Lance: I'm a rat?

    Victor Zsasz: I knew you couldn't be trusted. Roman's little bird. You little fucking bird. That's why he needs me to look out for him. That's why he needs me to take care of him.

  • Roman Sionis: [after ordering Erika to get on the table and dance for him] Look at this dress, it's fucking hideous.

  • Roman Sionis: [about the shrunken heads in his home] He's over a thousand years old, and now he's just an ornament in my living room. Ew... I love it!

  • Roman Sionis: [addressing the False Face Society] Friends, brothers, Men of Gotham! I have funded you, I have protected you, I've scratched your backs and kept you out of jail! Well, now it's time to say "thank you." Go show those little bitches you don't mess with Roman Sionis! Half a mil to whoever brings me the girl alive! The rest... you can kill.

  • Cassandra Cain: [picks a grenade out of Harley's arms chest] Dope.

  • [after killing Mr. and Mrs. Keo]

    Victor Zsasz: [indicates Ms. Keo] What about her?

    Roman Sionis: [after a pause] I think we can let her go. I mean, this is a pretty loud fucking shitshow of a message.

    [they laugh]

  • [while fleeing all the people who want her dead]

    Harley Quinn: [to her breakfast sandwich] We're gonna get through this, okay?

  • Harley Quinn: Call me dumb? I have a PhD, motherfucker!

  • Cassandra Cain: Guys? I think you need to see this.

    [They look out the window]

    Renee Montoya: It's Sionis.

    [the False Face Society surrounds Black Mask]

    The Huntress: We're fucked... he bought himself an army.

  • The Huntress: [after agreeing to team up with Harley] But we are going to need some serious hardware.

    [Harley walks over to a cupboard and opens it with a flourish]

    Harley Quinn: Will... this do?

    [They stare inside]

    The Huntress: No.

    Dinah Lance: Not at all.

    [Harley turns, sees the cupboard is completely empty, and gasps]

    Renee Montoya: We're dead. We're fucking dead.

    Harley Quinn: That slimy jizz-nozzle, I can't believe he took it all! *Fuck*!

  • Happy: There she is... Harley Quinn.

    Harley Quinn: Yeah?

    Happy: I've waited a long time for this.

    Harley Quinn: You have? Oh... I haven't had breakfast yet! What did I do to you?

    Happy: Are you serious? Look at my face.

    [shouts]

    Happy: Look at my face!

    [Super: "NAME: HAPPY; GRIEVANCE: COSMETIC VANDALISM"; flashback to the Joker tattooing a clown pattern onto a screaming Happy's face while Harley watches, laughing]

    Harley Quinn: [remembering] Oh... that wasn't me!

    Happy: But you dared him to do it!

    Harley Quinn: Yeah, but I dare a lot of people to do a lot of things!

  • Harley Quinn: Cross my heart, hope to fart!

    [Sionis slaps her across the face]

    Black Mask: God, you're so tiresome!

  • Singer: I hate myself for loving you!

  • The Huntress: He's gone?

    Harley Quinn: Mmm-hmmm.

    Renee Montoya: Good. Fuck that guy.

    Harley Quinn: Yeah. Tacos?

  • Harley Quinn: Meet the cop.

    Detective Tim Monroe: [at a crime scene] I got 50 says it was turf war.

    Harley Quinn: Not him.

    Renee Montoya: Well, as always, you're wrong, Monroe.

    Harley Quinn: Her. Renee Montoya. Raised on '80s cop shows, she's always saying cheesy shit like...

    Renee Montoya: There was only one shooter. Inside. This guy shot out the glass. Serrano. Yo. Hey. Have ballistics check for a bullet in one of those parked cars.

    Harley Quinn: Ten years ago, she broke a career-making case.

    Renee Montoya: Did I stutter?

    Detective Tim Monroe: Go ahead.

    Harley Quinn: But her partner at the time took all the credit. So while he made captain, she got stuck at detective level with this idiot.

  • Roman Sionis: [Harley breaks the legs of one of his patrons] That was my driver.

    Harley Quinn: Oh, whoops.

    Roman Sionis: Well, I'm sure it was his fault. Consider him fired.

    Harley Quinn: Consider me grateful. Especially since I know you don't like me.

    [to other patrons]

    Harley Quinn: I agitate his already delicate sense of mental equilibrium. That and his obsessive-compulsive need to be the center of attention.

  • Renee Montoya: Harley Quinn and the Joker broke up.

    Detective Tim Monroe: What?

    Renee Montoya: This was their spot. She just publicly updated her relationship status. Harley Quinn just called open season on herself. She did not think this one through.

    Harley Quinn: [narrating] Yeah, no shit I didn't think it through.

  • Renee Montoya: The shooter got close before drawing. Six rounds.

    [flashback to the Huntress taking down all four]

    Renee Montoya: And it wasn't about them. It was all about this guy right here.

    The Huntress: [taking aim with her crossbow] Do you know who I am?

    Carlo Rossi: You fucking bitch.

    Renee Montoya: This arrow through his throat... she wanted him to die slowly.

    Detective Tim Monroe: She?

    Renee Montoya: We got a hair. And he's got a new assassin.

    Detective Tim Monroe: Who does?

    Renee Montoya: Roman Beauvais Sionis.

    [hearing an explosion nearby]

    Renee Montoya: Jesus Christ.

    [taking out her radio]

    Renee Montoya: This is Montoya. What the hell was that?

  • Desk Sergeant: Fuck, Montoya, you smell like a dead rat's asshole.

    Renee Montoya: Not today, Simpson.

    Officer Drago: Hey, it's Detective Montoya. Respect your elders. I mean, your elderly.

    Renee Montoya: You're only a few years younger than me and you're still behind that desk. You wanna go there?